Morning wonderful Babes 
IsinDe - I think I have a fundamental problem with accepting that I am never going to drink again. My head knows that that is the only safe and sensible solution for me but I stubbornly stick to this idea I can have the occasional "One night stand" with the demon and that'll be ok
Exactly. I was reading my recent posts over the past few days, I looked at how often I pitch up on the Bus and moan about the fact that I drank, got pissed, made a twat fool of myself etc.
For me, it's because I feel like I am being told by someone (no idea who) that I should NEVER DRINK AGAIN. It's like when as a child, your parents tell you not to do something so it makes you want to do it all the more. Or when someone says, whatever you do, don't look over there. You turn and look!
It's a clever Demon this booze isn't it? It brings out the best in you, you are the funniest person at parties, people adore your witty jokes and one liners, you are invincible when you drink. Everybody loves you, wants to be seen with you, talk to you, tell you how wonderful you are.......
Booze give you a sense of worth, a false confidence. It can kill, seriously hurt you, ruin your relationships, ruin your health, take your family away from you, your home, all of your money, it takes and takes and takes but that is always the last thing on your mind isn't it?
Why?
Why do we did it? There are a few serial offenders on here, regular drinkers who have some sort of cyclical drink problem. I'm certainly one of them. I want to break the cycle but I don't want to stop drinking. Not completely.