First post. On Saturday, I split withmy husband, the father of my two young children. We had been together for 14 years married for 4. We did talk it through first and agreed that we were unhappy and had grown apart and, having been down this road several times, enough was enough. I am currently staying at my parents with dd 3.7 and ds 1.9 as he wouldn't let us stay in the house unless I took on all the bills (I work 2 days a week, would be impossible) so we left.
We nearly split a few months ago after I found some message between him and a work collegue who he had obviously had a fling with. He denies this, says they were just friends and were just jokey messages - although she was saying that she misses their naked cuddles and that she has fallen in love with him, he said that he thought about her every day and that she had changed him and he liked it! For some reason i agreed not to leave but the relationship was clearly dead at that point. We agreed to make more of an effort with each other but just haven't, and I think the love and trust has gone. He has a lot of work friends who I have never met that he goes out with a lot, never comes out with our friends any more and I think our friends have all given up on him. I also found a receipt from a fairly expensive restaurant in his wallet the other day for £80, which sounds right for a meal for 2 to me, when he was apparently on a lads night. As the girl in the messages is currently travelling the world, I guess this is yet another girl. He also had an affair a few years ago, but I forgave him.
It's not just the affairs, I hate the way he speaks to me and the kids, and friends have also commented on it. There have been many occasions over the years where he has started arguements and insulted me in front of our friends over the years, once calling me a fucking whore in front of all of them. He also does nothing in the house or for the kids, has never change a nappy, given them a bath, put them to bed, read them a story and just can't deal with them unless they are being well behaved and happy. But they adore him. There are other things, I could go on.
Reading this back, I'm sure I have made the right decision but I just have this niggling doubt at the back of my mind. I've taken the kids out of their home (rented thankfully) and away from the Dad they love, I don't know how long we will have to live with my parents, husband is devastated (can't help feeling guilty, stupid I know), I don't know how I will cope financially or explain to my kids that we are not going home.
I just can't stop crying, please help me find some strength.