The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Here's To STAYING On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

I have an abusive and volatile relationship with alcohol.

This is the Brave Babes Bus, it's filled with sober, drinking and somewhere in between Babes who are all here for the journey ahead, whatever that may entail.

EVERYONE is welcome on this Bus. No-one will judge what you are going through, what you drink, what you don't or what you do.

Come take a seat.

Take a peek at the journeys so far (including the thread by JWN that started this whole journey off) HERE

Today I feel stronger! Dp was brilliant. My stuff was in binbags and tbh I felt suicidal but we talked and he read everything I had written and we will try to work on our relationship if I can be honest and stop drinking. Jesus the relief is amazing but this is my last chance. I cannot ever drink in safety. I am going home tomorrow and a day at a time if I stay sober I will be back with him and dd in a week. So I have a goal and a plan
I met the lovely bafana (she's one of those slim tall efforlessly pretty women) and she let me cry on her and took me to a meeting which felt like coming home. She was so supportive. I shared and snivelled
I saw my baby! She recognised me and looked delighted to see me. I made her giggle and sniffed her head for ages.
This bus is amazing. Wasindie I hope you are ok.
Suicidal thoughts are going and I have counselling tomorrow. I will need your support when I am in my own house (which I hate) tomorrow night but I am going to busy myself sorting it out. I will have a daily plan.
Goodnight babes and thankyou.
Day 4 - kerching!!

i am so pleased wantto xxxxxxxx

Things are looking up wantto and oh that baby smell . . .

Keep posting, go to meetings and plan, plan, plan how to not drink. You will get those moments, we all do and there is a ton of fabulous advice on here about what to do when they are upon us (eeeek). No. 1 Don't Panic!! I have been blindsided a couple of times when the feeling has been so strong but now I know it passes and the best, most fabbiest piece of advice for me is JWN's mantra - Tell it to fuck the fuck off

Have you read the original thread? If you have time on your hands it's an inspirational read and may help when the cravings come. You will always find someone on here to chat with if you shout loud enough.

Hi Missy sounds like things are going well for you too. Nice to have an admirer

Morning everyone!

wantto and Isinde, I'm so glad for you both that yesterday went better than you were hoping.

Fairenuff, I like your idea about planning ahead how not to drink. I went out for dinner with a friend last night, she had a beer, I had fizzy water and really didn't want anything stronger. I have my mate coming round for dinner tonight and am thinking about it a lot - weighing up the urge to drink with the wonderful feeling I will have tomorrow morning if I don't drink. The mornings really are wonderful without booze, aren't they? Will see how it goes but absolutely determined to stick to only 2 glasses and then switch to tea, if I drink at all. And most of all, I'm really looking forward to seeing my friend

Hope you are all well today x

Hi Josie at the risk of becoming boring, I will repeat my advice for your situation this evening: Most important - don't start the evening hungry and thirsty by having a glass of wine (or even more so, one while you're cooking), it will go down without touching the sides and before you know it you'll be on your second glass, and all before your thirst and hunger are really satisfied. I always found that in that situation, and after 2 glasses, all good resolve went out of the window, and it seemed hardly any time before I was opening the next bottle.

Instead, have a big glass of refreshing juice while you are cooking. When you pour the wine, also pour yourself a large glass of water, or another soft drink, and drink all of that before you even sip your wine. Eat half your dinner before you start drinking too. That way your 2 glasses (if that is what you plan to have) will last you till the end of the meal, and you will be able to enjoy them slowly, or you may not even want to drink much of it at all, because you won't be thirsty.

Finally, if you are resolved to switch to tea, then lay out your mugs / bone china teacups, whatever in a prominent position, so that if you are tempted to waver from your plan, you are at least reminded of what your intention is - waking up on Saturday morning feeling chirpy.

Thanks venus - really good advice. I agree that cracking open the wine while you're cooking is the path to destruction I'm going to have a pint of water on the go while I'm cooking and then make my first drink when my friend arrives a soft one, and take it from there
I can't tell you all what a great support this thread is, it's lovely to talk to people who know what it's like to have to actively manage your drinking

Morning, went to my friends for my tea yesterday evening, we both drank water during the meal, after clearing up we opened a bottle of wine and drank 2 glasses each out of the bottle, she had another bottle ready to be opened but I said I would prefer a mug of tea so that's exactly what we had . Was home and in bed by half ten! Go Obrigada

Excellent obrigada, and I bet you enjoyed your evening too.

I had a lovely evening Venus, am so glad I didn't give in to the urge of letting her open the other bottle of wine!

urge to not urge of

Another word of warning here Josie. If you think you would struggle to resist the first glass, it's a heck of a lot harder to resist the third. Do you really need wine to enjoy the meal? I've also been trying to cut down to occasional drinking but it's tricky. What is an occasion? A wedding, birthday, night out, meal in, friends over, Friday, Saturday night? You see what I mean? I have to think do I really, really, really want this, not just give in to an urge. And usually, if I finally do decide it is a grand occasion and warrants a glass of wine, I have to figure out how many I will have and how I will stop myself having more, etc. Rambling now, sorry

Isinde did you enjoy the film? I thought it was very well done having already read the book. I agree about partners not always 'getting it' because they can't possibly imagine what we go through no matter how supportive. But you both made a good choice.

Another productive day for all the bus babes today? I am shopping AGAIN, seem to spend my life there but got more uniform to get yet.

HI

Uniform shopping seems never ending doesn't it Faire

Well done Mouse on getting some Mousie time on your own - at long last

Glad you enjoyed your night out Indie

Sounds like you had fun night Obrigada without the hangover this morning.

I haven't drunk much the last few nights and been getting loads of things done.

We're going camping this weekend with a big group of people which I'm looking forward to although not sure whether to take the hound. Last time I took her she openend the bedroom zip and 2 porch zips to have an adventure at 6.30am and seen as we are camping by a canal I don't fancy having a wet dog sleeping with me!

On a funny note on Monday I was off work having a lazy day with the DC's. DS and I were resting our eyes having a nap so my DD decided to make over my DS. He woke up with pink eye shadow and bright red lipstick. They then tried to get me with the shaving foam but I could hear them. Goodness knows where they get their mischievness from [innocent emotion]

Hopefully they don't get their spelling from me

Thanks fairenuff, and you're right
I think if I get to about halfway through my dinner without drinking, I won't even want one

Yayyyyy on finishing your proposal SAF, and fingers crossed yours sister says yes to using her pc :)
Went for a walk at lunchtime!

Yay Saf and again.

Isinde, oh yeah, I forgot that horrendous attempt at the accent. I think it would have been better not to try at all, or cast an actress from the area!! I actually kept forgetting about it until she kept changing the way she spoke. I think there was a bit of Irish and Welsh in there somewhere and possibly a little Australian at times

Hi to all. My broadband has been down all day so am climbing the walls - how did I manage without it?

Missy10 - hope the op has gone/is going well, and best of luck for the break. Wantto - glad to hear that things are on the up. Keep on climbing! As mentioned before,am rubbish at hugs but excellent at practical help (so if you need someone to run around my incredibly middle class neighbourhood rounding up clothes and toys for a six month old to help out on the financial side let me know. I am the queen of rehoming (read: am naturally a chucker outer and am constantly sending stuff to people).

SaF- my natural curiosity about your PhD proposal is killing me- why is other people's work always more interesting? If you need a free proofreader (I can spot menu errors at 20 paces) or formatter let me know.

for myself - going through a difficult phase. End of week 4 of no weekday drinking and limited drinking on friday and saturday. Am feeling run down and exhausted, and more tired and depressed than usual. Am getting nothing done. I look ill. As far as I can tell the only pluses so far are that I've lost weight (which I didn't really need to do) and in theory my liver is having a rest (not a major concern as I had tests a year ago in conjunction with medical insurance and liver function was fine). The down side is that I have no energy, am much more moody, grumpy, probably not doing such a great job of parenting and am slightly depressed. My confidence is down. My mind tells me that this reduced drinking thing is for the best, but it's nearly a month now and things seem worse. someone tell me my mind is right and my instincts are wrong! Please?

Have you been feeling like this for long legal? Am sure someone will be along soon who is more articulate than me, but just wondering if you are depressed rather than it having anything to do with the reduction in your alcohol intake?

oh, only about 25 years on and off . Shouldn't be flippant, but yes, I do have a history of clinical depression and am more than conscious that alcohol, as for many, was/is a self-medication solution. I know perfectly well that it's a rubbish solution, hence the decision to stop. But it does mean that I'm now medication-less. Historically obsessive working and exercising has filled the gap. I guess the answer is all things in moderation, and change my habitual behaviour. Just having a brief moment of adolescent-like pouting. cup of tea, deep breath... pull yourself together, girl... in the scheme of life I have little to complain of...

Afternoon Babes

wantto - GO GIRL. What a fantastic post to see from you. Bafana had to be gorgeous really, she's lovely through and through. I'm very that you have met with her. So lovely that you got to smell your baby too. Hold onto that thought each and every time that you wobble. She'll keep you going. xx

bafana - Seeing you post so much on here again has made me smile lots. I've missed you!

IsinDe - I just read my post to you last night about your DP being a meany. Sorry if that upset you, that wasn't my intention! I had my bossy boots on last night!

obrigada - where you with me last night? I had two beers and then decided I didn't want any more so made a cuppa and went to bed!

sAf - well done YOU!!!! Fantastic news! I really hope with all of my heart that this comes through for you. xx

We've had a call to say that DH's mom is really struggling. She has an aneurysm in her head which is temperamental and causing her to pass out lots. She's now been banned from driving and my FIL is going to bring her to stay with us so she's not alone whilst he is not there. They live a good 2 hours away so I'm so worried that she'll fall and hurt herself.

It's so hard not to just go and scoop her up and bring her here tonight. Luckily, dad will be around to stay with her until Monday when we get back. Then we can take over and look after here.

Nemo's respite worker (let's call her tinkerbell as she has a tattoo of her) has been booked in for two days next week so all being well, I'll be able to get back to the gym for a gentle routine or a swim. I ache today and spent last night crippled in bed from about 2am but I think once my body get's used to it, I'll get better at recognising the aches and pains over the 'real' pain if that makes sense.

Anyway, off to pack and faff soon.

Where is that thurso?

Where you headed Mouse?, did I miss something? Been wondering about Thurso as well, not like her not to post. Been a while since we heard from Silver and Luci as well. Hope they are all ok.
And of course Miflaw seems to have gone AWOL as well, wonder are they all away somewhere together