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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

A 'what on earth was he thinking' thread

35 replies

redderthanred · 25/07/2011 11:02

because, really. I do not understand men at all.

I was talking on msn to my friend last night, we havent been friends all that long, there is a little bit of 'frisson' there. The conversation went like this:

Him - What are you up to, are you free

Me - not right now im not, its late, im going to bed in a momment ( it was gone 11)

Him - yeah, i know, im pushing it, id just really like us to go out.

Me - ok, when are you free?

Him - ill have to check my diary.

Me- ok, well, let me know. Sorry, but im not going to come out at gone 11. If it was earlier id of said yes though.

Him- well. You should say yes. Id of come and fucked you then. You should say yes because im busy and its now or not at all.

me - goodbye

WTF!!!!!!!!! can i just add hes over 30 and a teacher fgs. I do not understand men in the slightest.

OP posts:

RabbitPie · 25/07/2011 11:05

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Spuddybean · 25/07/2011 11:06

what a charmer!

He was on a booty call and you said no so he got angry.

FaultyGoods · 25/07/2011 11:07

Was he drunk?

And was that offer supposed to drive you wild with desire?

Clearly, he's not a 'friend' but some bloke hoping for a shag.

Apocalypto · 25/07/2011 11:09

I'm a bit shocked that a teacher would write "Id of come and fucked you then" and lard his messages with grocers apostrophe's.

"Id of come"?? WTF??

What is the world coming to?

TheRealMBJ · 25/07/2011 11:10

Yes. He's a twat and one with extremely poor grammar at that.

WinkyWinkola · 25/07/2011 11:10

He's your friend? He's got zero respect for you and he thinks you're so desperate for sex, he can ask you at whatever time for it. Yuck. Sack him.

SingOut · 25/07/2011 11:11

This isn't a typical man, this is a typical twat. They come in both varieties, male and females. In this case, clearly you should have dropped to you knees in grovelling thanks for his offer of a quick fuck, and he's aghast at your rudeness and/or ungratefulness in turning him down.

What a knob. Sounds like he's been watching too much porn and thinks real life is actually like that!

RudeEnglishLady · 25/07/2011 11:12

He's not really a friend now is he :)

At least you found out quickly what a tit he is, before you had to buy him a birthday present or feed his cat when he goes on holiday - good work!

Original poster

redderthanred · 25/07/2011 11:13

I already did.

But really, the older i get, the less i feel i understand men at all.

OP posts:

pictish · 25/07/2011 11:14

Oh bleeeuuurgghhhh!!!

He gives you a booty call, then gets the hump that you don't comply, insinuating that you've missed your chance??!!

Oh good Lord!! What an arsehole!

RudeEnglishLady · 25/07/2011 11:15

Tell your mates as well - in case they might get involved with him. Then you can all have a bit giggle behind his back.

Anniegetyourgun · 25/07/2011 11:17

What a romantic offer, how could you possibly have turned it down

HerHissyness · 25/07/2011 12:43

So this guy is single? shocker!

Jesus christ!

I'm glad apocalypto got there first with the "Id of come" bit...

Anyone that thinks it's of and not have needs to be kept well away from!

delete and block redder, delete and block - you dodged a really shite bullet there!

buzzsore · 25/07/2011 12:50

Glad you said goodbye . What a nobber.

Original poster

redderthanred · 25/07/2011 12:55

Nobber indeed.
But is this really what goes through a male, 30 somethings brain. A male who is deedmed intelligent enough to teach teenagers?!?!?!?
That i would say ' yes. please come fuck me now'
REALLY???????

OP posts:

TheRealMBJ · 25/07/2011 13:01

No, not any male 39 something's head. His twatinesses head.

ImperialBlether · 25/07/2011 13:07

As soon as I read the exchange, I thought, "People are going to pick up on "of" there..." and lo and behold!

For crying out loud, woman, what are you thinking of, msn-ing with a man with no grasp of grammar? His sense of entitlement is dreadful enough, his grammar, though, cannot be forgiven.

Apocalypto · 25/07/2011 13:18

@ RTR

He's not your "friend" because of your witty conversation or your sparkling personality, it's because you've got a pulse and a fanny.

He's been doing a bit of the old conversational banter so far to conceal the area of his main interest from you. He's been hoping to bullshit you into coming across with the goodies before you noticed this.

Fortunately he was stupid enough to blurt out what he was thinking. I love love love the bit where he says he has to check his diary, like he's in big demand, or something, as opposed to being a fucking illiterate twat.

just think how used youd of felt if youd of fucked him - as he might put it himself.

vitaestbonus · 25/07/2011 13:24

You had a lucky escape!

He sounds like a nobber, plus his grammar is very poor as he clearly doesn't know the difference between of and have. Hope he's not an english teacher!

dogfish · 25/07/2011 13:32

The lack of grammar is dreadful. As is his arrogant overestimation of his own appeal and his ghastly chat-up technique.

Apart from that though, isn't this mainly a case of wanting different things? He wanted no strings sex, you didn't. His main mistake was to ask for it so bluntly. If it had been the other way round I can't think he'd be so moralistic about it. Am a bloke, btw.

Apocalypto · 25/07/2011 13:32

@ IB

Back in the early days of the web - 1998ish - I used to get PMed by 15-year-old boys trying to pass themselves off as 20-year-old bisexual women. They'd noticed women did not on the whole hold smutty conversations with men over the web. So they thought if they introduced themselves to non-male sounding AOL users as women, then turned to the subject of sex, they might be able to talk a bit dirty to a real woman. Which is a big deal when you're 15.

Naturally I couldn't resist taking the piss so I'd ask them things like what size tights they wore or their bra size. Sometimes I used to take the piss out of their grammar - "OK to prove ur female, what is a gerundive and how is it used?" There was no Google then, so they had no idea - imagine their distress.

My favourite was once when I asked an illiterate kiddy like RTR's what the subjunctive mood was. He told me it was when women get all ratty and bossy before their period. Honestly, I couldn't type "fuck off" for laughing.

I reckon RTR's bloke may have had a conversation with me about 13 years ago...

BadTasteFlump · 25/07/2011 13:39

Was he an 'online' friend OP?

From what I've heard from my single friends, it seems lots of men who get chatting to women on the web are just looking for a nobbing - and are too wierd/ugly/sad to meet women in RL to get one.

emmanumber3 · 25/07/2011 13:41

That could well have been DS2's teacher . He's had such a hectic couple of years having affairs (including one with an ex-parent & one with a student teacher he "mentors") that he's now off work with all the stress caused by his wife finding out & kicking him out! Poor bloke . I'm pretty sure he'd have a conversation like that.

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 25/07/2011 13:43

That's not asking "bluntly"! That's being rude and peremptory. He asks her "out", and when turned down his reply is to say "You should say yes. Id of come and fucked you then. You should say yes because im busy and its now or not at all."

"You should say yes" = You are supposed to do what I want
"Id of come and fucked you then" = I am only interested in you as a sexual object, and I have poor grammar.
"You should say yes because im busy and its now or not at all." = And now I'm going to attempt to threaten you into compliance. Also, my time is more important than yours.

Original poster

redderthanred · 25/07/2011 13:45

No. He was a real friend. Which makes it worse.

Dogfish.. ' his main mistake was to be so blunt about it' REALLY? Surely his main mistake is in thinking that some woman might say yes to his tactics. This isnt, sadly for him porn, its real life and i cant see that working on many, if any women at all.

OP posts:

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