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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support for those in emotionally abusive relationships 3

1001 replies

ItsMeAndMyPuppyNow · 24/07/2011 09:09

New thread - will copy our library of links in the following posts

OP posts:
totallylost · 20/08/2011 12:38

Am I in an EA relationship?

DH left me five months ago (background www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1215838-marriage-is-falling-apart) after three months he said he realised how much he missed me wanted me and how things would be different. For the last two months he has been staying in our house all of the time and for the first month things did seem to be different but....

We seem to be back to exactly how we were, he says he is happy with the relationship and the unhappiness is all mine. He won't talk to me, forgets everything I have said to him so the next day he will ask me again what is the matter. Occassionally he will claim to recognise there is a problem and that he will get some help. The next day its like it never happened and of course he does not get help.

Basically I don't feel we have a relationship, I feel used by him, he rewrites history. From saying he wanted to come back because he missed me and realised how much he wanted to be with me it has now changed to there was no one else he liked as much and (because I had counselling) I am now liveable with. I have explained to him how hurt, rejected and let down by him I felt and that I need his help to help me to cope with these feelings but he just is not there for me emotionally and has not been for a long time. He just seems to want everything his way and my feelings are secondary to that.

BreakFree · 20/08/2011 12:40

god i could have written that reasons
UNreal.you could not make it up what we are subjected to.

he jjust got up.came downstairs.started shouting at me.called me several names in front of kids.when i told him to stop talking to me like that he asked who was i to tell him what to do. i said his fathering skills were dire. he went off on one then about how evil i was for sayibg that then brought both kids into it. asked older dc was he a bad father? and then started saying younger dc was coming into kitchen saying what a good dad he is and how mean i am. i cant cope. illness is bad again.

BreakFree · 20/08/2011 12:42

totallylost. i would say yes as he is emotionally exhausting you and that in itself is abuse.have you looked at the links at the beginning of this thread?

totallylost · 20/08/2011 12:47

yes read some of the stuff about emotional abusers and this particularly struck a chord

"If you do get an apology out of an abuser, it is a quick-fix, not a long-term solution, because they will do the same behavior over again - that is why they are often so resistant to apologizing and saying that they will work on the behavior - because they KNOW they will repeat it at another time."

Eventually he is always sorry (but never heartfelt) and promises to try harder and not do it again. It never seems to matter that he keeps on doing it.

I know I am wasting my time trying to get him to see my point of view.

totallylost · 20/08/2011 12:48

There is nothing I can do to make this better, is there?

thisishowifeel · 20/08/2011 13:27

I believe that people can change. I really do, because I have changed profoundly over the last eighteen months. I have worked incredibly hard on discarding EVERYTHING I was told was normal, believed was normal and saw as normal.

It wasn't normal.

I had to sawllow some tough home truths about myself. On hearing the term co dependent, my first, emotional response was NO. On being told that choosing to stay with an emotional abuser was child abuse. NOOOOOOOO. That my ENTIRE family was utterly dysfunctional, and I had to extracate myself in order to avoid any more suicide attempts....I kind of knew that the choice was that stark. Change or die. Literally.

I did.

I spoke to Respect the other day, he said that he had seen change. My xh isn't even on the first rung of the ladder. He still doesn't get that he has done anything wrong.

Neither is Mr Totallylost. Is he?

Rewrites history....check out gaslighting. Gaslighting is a truly evil thing to do to someone.

notsorted · 20/08/2011 13:30

Detach, detatch, Totally. Can you think back to what happened in counselling. What did you talk about and what did you feel?
May be there is a subset of EA men who don't go the whole hog, but are just incapable of empathising and don't have the emotional intelligence to even recognise other people's feelings so block them and then become abusive. That is not to make any excuses for any abuse whatsoever. But you have done some hard work, made some decisions including having him back. There is a hell of a lot of hard work needed to repair this relationship, if that is both what you want.
Tell him you want him to go to some counselling on his own, perhaps with a view to doing it jointly later on?
There is, sadly, nothing you can do alone except for yourself. There is stuff you can do together if he is prepared to do it. There is definitely things he needs to do on his own.
Not much comfort, but if it feels like a repetition of before, you must decide if you want to revisit it or not.

totallylost · 20/08/2011 13:32

Mr Totallylost hasn't even seen the ladder never mind worked out he needs to climb it :(

I hear what you are saying though, counselling has helped me, I faced stuff I would rather not have had to, but it helped me change and get better. But I did it because I recognised I needed help and was prepared to do whatever it took to make that change.

I know he has to do it for himself, if thats what he decides he wants, I just can't hang around til he does.

totallylost · 20/08/2011 13:36

notsorted, counselling is part of the problem. He had CBT therapy just before and during the early part of us being split, but he has admitted he lied to the counsellor and told her everything was fine and so she stopped seeing him. Since wanting to get back together he has kept saying he will arrange some 'proper' counselling. But he hasn't, when I mentioned it a few weeks ago he said he had no problems so didn't need counselling - so why not just say that to start with.

He has realised something is up again (probably because I have been telling him for the last week) and claims to have e mailed a counsellor. Of course now he has to actually make an appointment, then go, then be honest, then keep going......

totallylost · 20/08/2011 13:38

I had counselling this week, was the first one for three weeks, and my counsellor was shocked by the complete change in me. I had gone right back to where I was when I started. When she asked me what I thought I needed to do next I told her it was to detach from him. I can't just turn off the feelings but I kn ow detaching will get me there. Easier said than done though.

HerHissyness · 20/08/2011 15:00

totally, you need to tell him that he needs to leave again. Your own therapist now sees you back at square one in a matter of WEEKS! FGS woman, how low do you think he'll drag you this time?

Tell him , It's not working, I made a mistake letting you back in, you have a month to get somewhere else to live, but you need to leave.

BreakFree? 2 words.... DRUM KIT! Get your DC a DRUM KIT, the next time that shower of shite takes up residence in the bed.... Ba-bada-babada-BOOM! BOOM BOOM!

BF, you have to get him out of your life, really, the not coming to your aid when you are THAT ill is inexcusable. What is this teaching your DC?

Bandwithering · 20/08/2011 16:29

Totally, you're not obliged to keep on giving him more and more chances. You are entitled to have decided that you want out, and you don't have to present a case to him.

The only way I managed to detach was to go to a different country! extreme? well worth it imo.

notsorted · 20/08/2011 20:32

Just wanted to update my mediation saga. OK Hissy another feather in your cap for being so right.
All my dithering and I went for assessment meeting. Thought it's worth a go in absence of any other way forward for contact with DCs.
Mediator confirmed he cried off as he couldn't didn't want to pay.
His mum has offered to give him the money, but guess what? He won't accept it. Im bloody glad too and did point out tartly to MiL that I could give her account no of CTF so an equivalent amount could go in there.
Even she agreed that him not being to pay is a convenient excuse to avoid dealing with anything.
So am blind to pleas that he can't see DCs and has missed so much in their lives. His choice to behave in such a way that made it s - got SS on my back, to make threats to scare me and so he doesn't see DCs until he remakes appt with mediator as first off.
Ok, I accept it will probably go tits up. He thinks he will be 'humiliated' at mediation! NS chokes on her wine as any sane person suggested something constructive that he might just consider doing to improve situation is per se 'humiliation'.
Not feeling triumphant though, just sad as he missed yet another happy day in the life of his DCs for being such a self-centred git in the first place.
And his failure to attempt some kind of resolution ensures the whole family - not just me and the DCs - are concentrating on him and his behaviour as usual.

HerHissyness · 20/08/2011 21:39

Love, you have done all YOU can. Now is the time for you to sit back and for HIM to show you, his DC and the world that HE is prepared to be a great dad, a super H and an all round good egg.

Until he achieves that, you reserve the right to stand well back and give him the space to do whatever he needs to do to. Grin

This is what I meant about finding the way to be a spectator in your life, it's a great way to observe it all, bemused and detached from the side lines. When you say to yourself, I can do no more, then you can start to gain distance.

The thing with abusers is that they cause so much chaos in their immediate surroundings, muddy the waters so much, you can't see which way is up, so they get to call the shots.

Once you distance yourself a little, you can see the situation for what it is, a chaotic mini-swirl right around HIM, and him ONLY! The rest of the world doesn't live like that!

Stand back and he will continue to spin, while you begin to see more clearly, think more clearly and feel calmer, more collected and able to work out what you need to do, and more importantly what you DON'T need to do.

As soon as you get to the position of spectator, you will start to feel able to relax, knowing that whatever drama he creates is HIS alone. You don't have to be dragged into it.

"Sort yourself out H, then let me know when you are in a fit place to see your DC. Up to you now..... off you go...."

Grin
BreakFree · 21/08/2011 14:05

Hissy, you need to write a book!!!!!

Coincidentally do you know what song is on the radio as I type this.
Linkin Parks "In the End" !!!!

Lyrics are so fitting!

Blethermouse · 21/08/2011 14:25

Hi all Smile
would you mind if I lurk/join in...I have some major problems with my h I am trying to sort out.
He is just very difficult and unsupportive as well as blaming me incessantly for things.
I had a big showdown with him in feb and he improved.. I asked him to move out, he refused and told me to, I gave him 3 mos to change and he did improve a fairish amount.
One big problem is he spoils our youngest ds to curry favour with him..[ won't say no to anything unless he is in a bad mood of course then he is the opposite] and leaves me out of things and puts me in a bad light in front of him.
So I feel if I split the family h will ensure everyone believes it to be my fault and poison the others against me to get his own way.
Today he is doing my head in as he had a big shouty rant at me in front of ds re todays plan .. too much to put down or would be a v long post.
He has crossed a line.. trouble is I have to rely on him for some childcare as I work nights.. and 50 % of the time he is helpfulish

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 14:51

he he, I was listening to THIS loudly yesterday!

Here are the lyrics, kind of... they might be a bit off in places..

"The Only Way (Is The Wrong Way)"

Did you think that I'd disappear?
Did you think that I'd wash away?
Did you think that I'd last this long?
Did you think that I'd get this strong?

Everytime they try to make me change
they just wear me down with more chains

And it feels like
that you with me or against me
and it feels like
that your promises are all mine
and it feels like
that to push me is to shove me
and it feels like
that the only way is the wrong way

Did you think that I'd could be your crutch
Did you think that life could mean so much
Did you think that this could end in birth?
Did you think that this was just plain old luck

and everytime that try to make me change
that just wear me down with more chains

And it feels like
that you with me or against me
and it feels like
that your promises are all mine
and it feels like
that to push me is to shove me
and it feels like
that the only way is the wrong way

everytime they try to make me change
they just wear me down with more chains

And it feels like
that you with me or against me
and it feels like
that your promises are all mine
and it feels like
that to push me is to shove me
and it feels like
that the only way is the wrong way

and it feels like
that the only way is the wrong way

and it feels like
that the only way is the wrong way

the only way is the wrong way
the only way is the wrong way

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 14:54

Blether, part of their control is what others think.

Let go of this, and do the right thing for you and your DC. It really IS (kind of) that simple. Everything else is really just details.

First thing first, you need to get child care sorted, or you need to talk to work about swapping out the night shifts if you can, for a while, until you can work out something for the future.

Blethermouse · 21/08/2011 15:12

what the dc think i mean, not anyone else.. he is manipulating them

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 15:26

All the more reason to remove him from their lives.

Supervised contact only. Do and say whatever you can to keep him at arms length. he is damaged, he is toxic. The less he has to do with the DC, the better, last thing anyone wants is HIM teaching them how to grow up!

Blethermouse · 21/08/2011 16:50

How do you know he is damaged and toxic as opposed to immature/ thoughtless/ a person who wants their own way a lot/ hates being slighted/ can't communicate

babyhammock · 21/08/2011 17:22

'So I feel if I split the family h will ensure everyone believes it to be my fault and poison the others against me to get his own way'

What you wrote here! He's made you feel like that for a reason. Most people don't think your average immature, thoughtless person would behave that way... that's cos he isn't your average immature person

Notchattingnow · 21/08/2011 19:16

well he wants to be top dog thats for sure
and to put himself in the best light at my expense
after a big row this am, I told him not to shout in front of ds ever again and he said "Well don't make me then by winding me up "... I told him he is an adult [47]
But then he has been happy and jokey all day [twat] while my day [last day off] was effectively ruined.
Bugger to the nth degree. I need to use this anger.

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 20:04

How do you know he is damaged and toxic as opposed to immature/ thoughtless/ a person who wants their own way a lot/ hates being slighted/ can't communicate

Because you have told him to change and he WON'T! You have told him you want him to LEAVE because of it, and he WON'T.

Do you seriously want your DC to grow up like him? unable to communicate, demanding their own way to the detriment of everyone else around them, unable to treat women with respect?

Have you read Why Does He Do That?

HerHissyness · 21/08/2011 20:06

Notchatting: his great mood is BECAUSE of your misery. I had this all the time, the sadder he made me, the happier he was.

Don't let him do that to you again! Go OUT, leave him at home and bugger off somewhere for a coffee, or a film or something! Come back lively, happy and cheery, piss him RIGHT off!

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