The Brave Babes Battle Bus - We're All Going On A Sober Holiday!

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse

Welcome to the Brave Babe's Bus. This is a bus full of drinkers old and new, sober and not, and those who are somewhere in between.

We are all at different levels of sober so you can bet that one of us has walked in your shoes.

If you want advice and support then you're in the right place.

Come take a seat or just lurk, we're happy to have you along for the ride.

And here is a link to the last thread so you can catch up on the journey so far HERE

SAF Take all the credit you like for not stopping at the pub today, we know how difficult it is when that is part of your routine, and when a glass of wine is calling. You have done well.

Have you heard about HALT? (I think it originates in AA) It says that we are most likely to be tempted when we are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. I know that for me my body had got its signals confused, so if I was hungry I would reach for a drink, if I was tired I would reach for a drink. No wI try to solve all of those things first. So I make myself something to eat (I love soup), I try and work out what is making me feel pissed off and then do something about it or write a furious letter about it. I call up a friend on the phone or send an email, and I do something about being tired (have a bath or sit with my feet up and have a cup of tea). By the time I've done all that I've usually met whatever the need actually was, or at least the feeling that I needed a drink has subsided a bit.

golly I think I'm going to have to go out and buy wotsits just to test that out. I'm wondering how you found out.....

venus - I think I heard it on the radio when I was driving one day, and I happened to be eating wotsits at the time so when i stopped at a set of traffic lights I tried it out. Not my finest moment, I have to say.

at Golly setting fire to wotsit at traffic lights

SAF Here is the Pretenders song title approach to making your cake....

Get out a recipe - Sense of Purpose,
Weigh the ingredients - Don't Get Me Wrong,
Mix it all up - Mystery Achievement,
Put it in the oven - Hold a Candle to This,
Cook for 40 minutes - The Wait,
Leave to cool - Chill Factor,
Lick the bowl - Waste Not Want Not,
Do the washing up - Clean Up Woman,
Taste your cake - Kinda Nice I Like It,
Send some cake to the brave babes - You Know Who Your Friends Are

Brilliant venus just brilliant

"wish i had a magic wand to be able to move somewhere better for me."

The sad truth for most of us is that, wherever we are, if we want to drink we will drink and if we don't we won't.

my last drink was 16 Dec 2002. On 20 Dec 2002 i was standing in a (horrible) massive bar in London, surrounded by drinkers - my last drink had been a (4 day) blip after nearly 6 months dry so this had been planned when I was feeling sober and strong.

Was this a good idea? No, it was a shit idea. I should never have gone, but I wanted to see my mates.

Did i drink? No.

Compare this to a time when I made a girlfriend walk with me on a 5-mile round trip to an off-licence on a Sunday because she dared to be living in a village at the time! I wanted to drink; and I did drink; and a little thing like Sunday opening and a 5 mile walk wasn't going to get in the way of THAT!

Good advice Venus re HALT, helpful to hear how you put it into action.

venus that is great ...

SAF I am so impressed by your baking ... it must be a huge rush to have that sense of pride of not only not going to the pub but baking a bloody cake too!

To everyone else ... PLEASE stop this talk of setting fire to wotsits. Its a sacriledge (spelling?). Do not waste your wotsits (particularly whilst driving!)

SAF I couldn't get 'Hymn to Her' to relate to your cake baking. I think you'll just have to have that one all to yourself - Hymn to SAF, for a great afternoon.

Behind this sad veneer of pissed up women, and ex-pissed up women (and MIF) struggling to regain control of thier lives are some fine minds, great wit, warm hearts and brilliant poets (have you met isindie?).

and great cooks
and heroic mothers
and gutsy ladies
and shoe fanatics

and guess what, each and every one of us is strong and brave in our own way, and each and every one of is needs the help and support of others. That's why we're here.

Right peoples, I am off for the night, off to pick up DD and then get ready to go out. May Willpower be with me. Or if not, lets hope I don't get shitfaced and act like a prat.

(and yes, I know that hope isn't part of it - its an active decision).

venus is right - we are SOOOOO much more than sad old drunks!! - i refuse to let being alkie define who and what i am - its a bit of a bugger to find you are one, but hey!, i have other characteristics too!

Venus - a bit of a bugger to find you are one (an alkie)

Proper lolz at that, as my teenager would say

Thing is, in my experience, the alkie side of one's character really only holds any importance whilst you're still in the grip of it. For the duration of you (me, us) sidestepping it, it diminishes as a part of you (me, us). Which is good news, don't you think?

Experience also shows us that the importance of our alcoholism to others is also diminished by being sober. There are very very few people who will attempt to get us to drink after we've made it clear that we no longer do that. I expect most (non-alcoholic) people in our lives move on from our old behaviours and begin to see us as 'normal' alongside themselves. To a non-alcholic it is neither here nor there if we have a drink when they do as their intention is (almost) NEVER to get pissed so they do not need someone to do it with them in order to justify their own behaviour.

Here endeth today's lesson.

Now I've typed that I have no idea if it has any relevance to current conversations

Oops, quoted that first bit as from venus but it was actually JWN

Sorry, tummy bug must have gone to my brain.

or maybe just shaky because without a drink you are confronted with the (scarily) wonderful person you really are.

I mean that.

And I also mean the scarily wonderful person that you have avoided being, by drinking.

Just know that it;s all OK. It's OK to feel shaky, it's OK to feel scared, and above all - it's OK to have a day with nothing to drink.

BUT also, alcohol has a load of useless carbs and sugars. So you may feel shaky because of that. Drink some coke (full fat variety), or eat some chocolate, or a banana.

Just don't let the shaky feeling drive you to drink.

Brilliant venus xx