last November my husband declared that he had had enough, he felt he had to leave, hes felt like this for a long time, we are incompatible, he can't relate to me?? I wont do anything, he doesnt want to waste anymore years, he wants the opportunity to find someone whos going to love and take care of him? the list goes on.
After basically sulking through november, December and most of Jan he walked out on me and my 2 children (11 and 2). He continued to come to see them almost every day and saw my older child on a sunday. He even talked about taking the time as a break and that he would be home again soon, he went from loving me to hating me from one week to the next, it was exhausting but i hung in there. He came home in Mid march, 'tried' for about 2 weeks then the mood swings came...he didnt love me anymore, i'm not the one, he doesnt see any future for us blah blah
surprise surprise I found out at the begginng of June that he had been seeing a young girl at work, an employee, shes 25, hes 40 this year. The strange thing was it seems to have been an emotional fling rather than a physical one and it wasnt going on for very long yet he said he thought he was in love with her! a few days after he confessed we decided to try again...he said he loved me, he wished he could turn the clock back, so glad he hadnt lost me etc. Then on saturday he walked out!
I have found out lots of things since, things he said like the fact that he only came home in march because i was making it 'awkward' for him to see the kids, that he was begging this girl to take him back in May when he was still at home. I am pretty disgusted with what i have heard.
The one thing he kept on saying was he wished he had clarity, clear thinking. I have no idea what that means so couldnt help him. dont we all have clarity, the ability to think clearly, know the difference between right and wrong?
My oldest starts secondary school in sept and my daughter nursery, I practically begged him not to leave until they have settled in school, he refused and i am now telling him he must leave them alone until then. The last time he left i could see my son felt an awful lot of pressure to please his dad i.e. make sure to go and see him, which he doesnt need right now. My other half is not happy to do this which is understandable but he needs to understand that he chose this situation and its time to put the childen first as its all been about him for the last 8 months. He even chose a rock climbing outing to tell my son he was going!
I firmly beleive he is having some kind of mid life crisis because he acted exactly the same the year he turned 30. I just cant beleive i'm still willing to work things out. Sadly, when he does come to his senses it will be too late and he will have lost the 3 most important people in his life.
sorry for the 'going on' it has been a very long and harrowing 8 months.
i