help: semantic nightmare is ruining my day

[Aimlesswhinemouse]

DP and I have real communication problems and sometimes it surrounds everyday words. I know this sounds trivial but, just to take an example that cause a major row last night...whenever I cook a quiche for a dinner party or picnic DP always refer to it as a ?flan?.

I've corrected his mistake lots of times (there are loads of other examples!!!!!!) - but he has consistently failed to take notice of my correction, continually referring to quiches as flans and using the two words as if they were interchangeable.

I am finding his insensitivity to linguistic nuance increasingly depressing and I feeling increasingly distant from him. I just don?t know how much longer I can go on listening to him keep referring to a quiche as a flan. I'm sure this must be a symptom of deeper problems, but I'm just going out of my mind and feel so confused right now.

at the situation

Leave the bastard. Now. Actually pack his bags, leave them on the front step and change the locks. Today.

Are you aware of how ridiculous this sounds?

My dp pisses me off no end getting words wrong, but it doesn't leave me feeling confused.

It just makes him look like a bit of a knob sometimes.

Dinner instead of lunch - but I got over it

For example. If he calls his laptop an fucking labtop one more time I may poke him in the eye.

I can't see us having a huge argument over it though.

The unfeeling, insensitive, emotionally abusive bastard. Divorce him immediately for semantic promiscuity :)

You know it's hard to be taken seriously these days. How are you supposed to get by if when you explain your feelings you get nothing back.

I know this is trivial and makes me sound like a right bitch.

What I did as to use a recipe book to gently explain that a quiche is a baked dish that is based on a custard made from eggs and milk (or cream) in a pastry crust whereas a flan is actually a rich custard dessert with a layer of soft caramel on top (as opposed to crème brûlée, which is custard with a hard caramel top).

He looks at me like he thinks I'm crazy. But if I mistook a fucking porsche for a Ferrari it would be a different story.

OP I feel your pain, DH calls cous cous cou cou and thinks I should find it amusing - I don't.

Maybe you should take up a hobby, get your mind off the POINTLESS SHIT you're picking up on in your marriage

Make a big custard pie and then throw it at his face.

Perhaps you could avoid cooking the offending recipe and stick to anglo-saxon dishes he can recognise?

Does he annoy you in other little ways that point to a greater problem? Do you still like him?

Tart!

Kill him.

Have you phoned Women's Aid?

He looks at you as though you're mad huh? Who'd have thunk it.

(Ps, you do know that using words that are French when there is a perfectly good English one is tres infra dig and non-U don't you? toilet, serviette etc?)

Make a big custard pie and then throw it at his face

MW I think you mean custard flan FFS

Laughing at this thread. Flan and quiche aside though....I think I can understand the OP's frustration. He's showing a lack of respect really. He should value the things that are important to you otherwise why is he with you? We all have silly things that wind us up.

I assume this is a joke, but just in case it isn't:

Flan
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
This article is about the open pie. Flan may also refer to sweet custard desserts such as crème caramel; see also Flan (disambiguation).
A flan is a tart, a type of pie, with a base of shortcrust pastry. An example is a quiche. In both savory and sweet flans the filling tends to be based on a thick custard. However there are flans not based on custard, such as the bakewell tart. The British savoury flans may have diverged from the sweeter Spanish flans in the Middle Ages.[citation needed].

I think you and DH just have a difference of opinion on pastry based recipe names.

Told DH. He said real men don't eat quiche :)

Pack his bags, he is obviously cheating on you.
Phone Womans Aid quick.
Get the money out of the joint account.
Leave his clothes on the doorstep and tell him to fuck the fuck off, the bastard.

How dare he say quiche is flan, wanker.

EveryonesJealousofGingers

DP does the Wikipedia thing on me too -he's one of those people who thinks if something's on Wikipedia it must be true.

Wikipedia is full of mistakes. And the part you quoted even says

Tell me, you believe everything you read without thinking about it??

Show me a quiche that was ever made with custard!

Name me someone that's not a parasite and I'll go out and say a prayer for him.

I just can't believe that post.

I reckon flan and quiche are interchangeable tbh.

There was a time, not so very long ago, when a bacon and cheese flan was a bacon and cheese flan and not a quiche Lorraine.

Your dh is clearly a traditionalist, whereas you are more of a continental type.

I suggest introducing him gently to things forrin by sharing a forrin language film with him. SOmething light and easy, like Das Boot.

OP are you bored

I think he must be gas lighting. Maybe you should call Womens Aid, just in case.

I think this is all about respect. He's belittling your cooking efforts by giving your culinary masterpiece a common name, to put you in your place as he sees it. Zero tolerance, OP. It's dry bread from now on until he can receive your efforts with humble gratitude. And if that doesn't work, a swift blip on the back of the head with a flan quiche pan should do the trick. Not that I advocate violence, of course.