The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Head To The Summer Of Sobriety

[Mouseface]

Hello

I'm Mouse

Welcome aboard The Brave Babe's Battle Bus. There are a whole host of lovely posters here who will support your journey to sobriety, however you choose to get there.

We are a Bus full of drinkers, non-drinkers and those who are somewhere in between.

BUT - we will never judge or leave a poster out in the cold. So, find a seat and settle down for the journey ahead.

And HERE is the last thread and those before it too. Just follow the links to read the journeys so far.

I'm just popping in when everyone else is asleep to say hi to algee and also well bloody done to Sharpkat. Honestly, kat, that was enormously brave of you to go see the Dr and get the referral.

Thanks Tortoise - couldn't/wouldn't have done it without the support from this thread.

Wish I had hopped on board before rather than hanging round the bus stop.

Morning everyone - hope all of you have a good day.

Morning everyone. Day 2 for me and I am feeling optimistic. I am taking it one day at a time but am already I feel this time is going to be different from all my other half-arsed attempts to stop drinking. I am so tired of the hangovers, the guilt, the paranoia over what I did/might have done.
Lovely to see you algee. Well done Sharpkat.

Morning all. No drink for two days now and i won't drink today. Wedding to go to Friday night and I've volunteered to drive. Not sure I can resist one glass when we get there though (do I need to?) I'm telling myself I won't drink during the week/unless we go out. Not sure how realistic this is. Has anyone successfully 'cut back' or is this a dream?

I have tried many many times to cut back and failed. I don't know if it's possible. It may be for some but for me that first drink is the beginning of the end in terms of losing control.

I do know some posters here, Mouse for one has sucessfully moderated her drinking.

MrsT I think that there are lots of people who successfully cut back, but I know that I'm not one of them. For me there were a number of things that would happen. If I went out and had 'one' drink (as in your wedding example) I'd think I'd done really well and reward myself the next night by having lots more. Secondly, the reasons I could find for having a drink increased every week - from only for special occasions, to include going out for a curry, going out for a packet of crisps, staying in with a packet of crisps.... I could find a reason every day. And finally, I knew in my heart that I didn't want to have 'just one drink'. I always wanted another (and another...).

None of that means that you won't manage it, just that it hasn't worked for me. To be honest it feels much better for me without the mental torment of attempting to control my drinking. I'm happier and free-er without.

I spent/wasted 5 years trying and failing to moderate my alcohol. It took me that long to realise it was never going to happen . The truth is moderating my intake is more daunting than not drinking at all. The thought of having one glass of wine, is pure misery!! Give me a glass of N&T anyday. I'm happy to get tonic faced x

Hi luci good to hear you sounding so upbeat. Hold on to that feeling, and mark this post so that you can find it again and re-capture the feeling whenever you need it.

Demented

Why not join us now?

Also, did you get any further thinking about my question the other day?

Take care and try not to take any risks while you are "on it".

Cutting back never worked for me and put me in more danger than drinking as much as I wanted - for example, if I was "only having one" then I would take the car with me, then end up having more than one and then have a car to get home, whereas if I'd planned to drink I'd have got the bus.

Do you need to resist having just one? Of course not. As long as, hand on heart, you know you will only have one. If, however, you are the sort of drinker for whom one becomes two, then four, then four plus one, then I've forgotten, then you would be absolutely MAD to have one.

Morning Babes

I can't believe I missed algee

Thank you Mouse and Venus. I am feeling brighter and more in control. Hope Nemo's assessment/progress visit goes well today.

Detox fail :( glass of vino last might. Oh dear.

Stripes

Just one glass? Trust me when I tell you that's not failing, it's a blip. If you'd have nailed two bottles then that is very differnent.

Why did you pick up? Was there a trigger last night? And, why did you only have the one?

Talk to us

Thanks luci xx

morning!!

im off work, my face has all blown up, its agony and now my tummy is gurgling like a volcano, i think it must be the antibs (take no notice of me, im a an absolute wimp with illness!), see? i even refer to toothache as 'illness'! even dd has told me to get a grip!

luci, mouse is right, your posts are so much more positive when you arnt drinking!

quick thought about having 'just the one' - what's the point?, i think this is where my alkie brain kicks in, i really really cant see the point in having one drink, if i cant drink till im pissed why bother? - if you can put your hand on heart and say you really can drink just the one, enjoy it and nor fret about having more then good luck to you! (and a from me! ) if you spend the rest of the night feeling resentful and out of sorts then i really wouldnt bother in the first place, just start as you mean to go on and stay off it compleatly!

mouse glad to hear Nemo will get his surgery. We will all be here to hold your hand until he's done.
Miflaw - if I'm honest it's a combination of habit, boredom and escapism. I'm not very happy with my existing life for various reasons and it takes the edge off and helps me to relax in the evenings. yes, i feel crap in the mornings and swear blind that tonight I won't drink etc etc. I have tried playing the film through to the end but then end (short-term) is "finish bottle, go to bed a bit tipsy, real headachy in the morning" so it doesn't scare me enough IYSWIM. I don't get shit faced, embarrass myself at parties, throw up, fall over etc so it's ok no? (It's ok, you don't really have to answer that). the long term effects of alcohol abuse are more frightening but where I am right now i don't care about long-term. I just get by day to day.
when I have managed to stop for a bit, yes I have more energy and boing, but for what purpose? More energy to clean the house, care for the kids, argue with DH, look after elderly parents.? Doesn't thrill or inspire me.
Don't think that really answers your question does it? Or does it?
I am trying, believe it or not, with some small successes here and there. i don't always drain the bottle to the last drop now - Monday was two glasses, the rest still in the bottle - and with the help of this bus and it's wonderful travellers I wil keep trying but my head is not in a positive place right now and becuase of other things, drinking doesn't seem my biggest problem, although I know it's right up there with the other biggies. I genuinely appreciate you asking the question - and not letting me get away with not answering it - because it makes me think but please don't go into a shouty one. I'm not up for it right now.

ma - i wish i knew how to help you feel better about life in general - i find that life seems to go in peaks and troughs iywsim? - some parts of life just feel like never-ending fucking hard miserable never-ending hard work! having money problems is the absolute fucking pits!, kids can drain your very life force and marriages are not helped by any of the above! - personally i think you need to give yourself some time!, time for life to move forward, time to heal your marriage (if you can) time for the kids to become less of a burden (i mean in the growing up sense, not as in awful burden, i do hope you can see through my inarticulate way what i mean! ) in the meantime, just try and stay aware of your drinking levels, try and keep them within a safe level for your body, be kind to yourself, give yourself a little 'nurture' and stay with us! reading your last post i can see exactly why giving up drinking is so bloody hard for you!

No intention of shouting - it sounds, though, that the nature of your film is like Groundhog Day - the scene is not a bad thing watched through in isolation, but watching it through to the end, in your case, means seeing that it will happen again and again and again.

In the mean time, I can definitely relate, having been in the same drinking cycle myself for years; and am glad that, even if it is temporary and no fun at all, you are managing to moderate because it will give your body a fighting chance to recover.

If I can do this, so can you - but don't beat yourself up over this, you're doing what so many of us have done many times before you and, if I nag you, if I heartily recommend jumping off this merry-go-round earlier rather than later, it's only because I stayed on it far longer than I should.

mouse - quick question (i hope! ) am i right in thinking that a child has to grow to a certain stage before cleft surgery can be carried out?, also, will nemo be able to take 'normal' food once it has been done? please excuse my ignorance, i have never met a child with this problem before!

JWN - he doesn't eat because of his Sensory Feeding Disorder, which is common in heart defect children. His cleft is addittional. He doesn't talk either but the cleft repair won't change that.

Yes, they do have to be 'so big' to be able to stretch the tissue across the roof of the mouth to form a palate. The whole of his palate was missing so they had to 'create' the back of the throat bit first, and now they need to close the rest.

It may take two more operations and they might need to do a bone graft to secure the closure.

It's horrible but needs must.

He'll have his NG (feeding tube) until he decides to eat. He is interested in food, but he won't out it in his mouth. He dosen't drink either which is why it's important for me to replace the fluids that he loses when his reflux is bad and he's vomitting.

I also have to maintain his tube, flush it, replace it, check it's in his tummy and not his lungs, change the tape that holds it in place so that his skin doesn't get sore..... quite a lot really but until you put it all down in writing you don't notice!

Sorry you are feeling crappy xxxx

Just one glass, but that's hardly detoxing!

mouse as ever, am so impressed by you and what you cope with
you inspire me
miflaw jesus thank you for your support

Good afternoon everyone,
I feel very peculiar today, just back from work, and feel so flat, no obvious reason, and wasn't going to post a downer, but changed my mind, and am going to chat. Feel free to ignore me!

Mouse I knew about Nemo but, seeing you write it down, I have to say again, that you are doing such a wonderful job, no child could have a better Mother. I know you never, ever look for applause, but know that you are fab. Have you made that spa appointment?
It's not me for Glastonbury, I think it's Zany. I have never been to a festival, at 18, when all my friends were going I was too worried about where I would shower and wash my hair! Maybe I would be ok in one of the flash yurts they put up!

Ma I'm so sorry that you feel so sad. JWN is right, life does go in peaks and troughs, but sometimes the sides of the trough are too high to see out of, and things become a never-ending vicious circle. I really do know that feeling of wanting to distance yourself from everything by opening a bottle, I'm sending you my love. xx

I'm going to try to do some work now, and shake off this grey feeling.
Speak later lovelies xxxx

Watcha thurso I wonder if there's something behind the fact that you're feeling flat? Did anything happen at work perhaps? or are you bored?

Ma you sound so down . A massive amount of my drinking was done out of boredom. Day in day out was the same, especially when the kids were small and so dependent on me. In sobriety I've discovered that life is not as boring as I thought. Mostly because the additional energy that I have means that I do more stuff and add to that the fact that my mood is on a much more even keel. I'm not all happy happy joy joy all the time, far from it, but my moods are much more predictable and I can usually figure out why they are as they are rather than being baffled by them constantly.

Speaking of being baffled. I'm with JWN on the one drink thing. Totally pointless to me, I've always been baffled by people who enjoy one drink. I don't even like the feeling of one it just makes me sleepy. I liked to push through that feeling to the (very short lived) high that came with the third or the fourth and by then I'd lost all rational thought and would drink like a fish until... well, I passed out usually, albeit in bed at the end of the day rather than on the kitchen floor at lunchtime. I regularly couldn't remember going to bed though.

My AA wobbles are refusing to leave me at the moment. I have no idea what's going on there - I'm sure that horrible thread in AIBU isn't helping but I'm drawn to it like a fly to shit Twice now I've had something very odd happen as I'm falling asleep... an AA phrase (such as 'restless, irritable and discontent') has popped into my head in that half awake half asleep phase and it's woken me up with a jolt and panic, like I've been doing something really horribly wrong I'm not going to go to a meeting tonight to see if a little rest will help at all, but I will be going to my homegroup tomorrow night.

Sorry thurso, yes, it's Zany. My head is a bit addled! And thank you, I do it because I have to but more importantly, I do it because I want to. It's a need that I have. I need to care for him. I need to make sure he's safe, warm, loved, fed and secure.

Which is why it's so heartbreaking handing him over to the theatre staff when he has operations. I just hope that there really is an afterlife and that the family we have lost will watch over him and keep him safe.

Sorry if that sounds daft

One of my friends has breat cancer so I'm thinking of getting her to come to the spa too. I've not seen her for years but we keep in touch.

Stripes - honestly, don't beat yourself up over just one glass.

Ma - mwah to you lovely lady. xx