some of you know my situation, my abusive H passed away suddenly well over a year ago now and I have been living with DP for under a year, DP being someone I had 'held a candle for' for many years.
DP had left his wife as he wanted to divorce and was living in a hotel and ended up living with me, however he never told his family where he was, just said he wasnt going back. He would go back and forwards to the family home but never stay there due to business commitments still there. During this time we have lived in a bubble and its been wonderful [delusion emoticon]
Reality has now hit; last week he came back from a trip abroad and started saying he needed to sort things out, the travel was getting to him and his kids could never get hold of him and they needed him ( all grown up, left home and even have their own children ) and he needed to sort out things to pave the way for us but had to do this away from me so has moved back into a spare room in his house, kept my house keys and left stuff here. He went with my blessing as who am I to keep a person where they think they cant be?
That was a week ago and despite his 'words of comfort', he loves me wants to spend the rest of his life with me but his life is complicated and he needs time and wants me to wait blah blah blah,I cannot get my head around it have lost seven pounds in weight cant sleep and am generally feeling crap. This from a man who said he could never hurt me and was never leaving. He said yesterday if he had realised that I had these sorts of abandonment issues he would have done things differently. Abandonment issues WTF?
As of today I have told him to forget it, hes committed elsewhere and I cannot do this. I do not need this, it feels no different than the abusive crap I dealt with for 15 years with my H. I never got involved with married men and even though he was seperated the fact is I deluded myself in thinking that he wasn't.
Flame me if you like, I feel like i've done the right thing now, i was incredibly stupid and don't know what I want you all to say but had to write it down