soul food for those who have been in abusive relationships

[bejeezus]

i known this was written about a different struggle, but I always find it really empowering, I hope you do too;

Still I Rise - Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.

Thanks you,bj
I love this .Yes,it is empowering.

And I love this bit,too -

"Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?"

thats my favourite bit too
and;

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise

The Door

Go and open the door.
Maybe outside there?s
a tree, or a wood,
a garden,
or a magic city.

Go and open the door.
Maybe a dog?s rummaging.
Maybe you?ll see a face,
or an eye,
or the picture
of a picture.

Go and open the door.
If there?s a fog
it will clear.

Go and open the door.
Even if there?s only
the darkness ticking,
even if there?s only
the hollow wind,
even if
nothing
is there,
go and open the door.

At least
there?ll be
a draught.

translated from the Czech by Ian Milner

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson

Chapter I

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in
I am lost . . . I am helpless
It isn?t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter II

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don?t see it.
I fall in again.
I can?t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn?t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter III

I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in . . . it?s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter IV

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter V

I walk down another street.

The Journey - Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice--
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do--
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Wake up. Day calls you

Wake up. Day calls you
to your life: your duty.
And to live, nothing more.
Root it out of the glum
night and the darkness
that covered your body
for which light waited
on tiptoe in the dawn.
Stand up, affirm the straight
simple will to be
a pure slender virgin.
Test your bodys metal.
cold, heat? Your blood
will tell against the snow,
or behind the window.
The colour
in your cheeks will tell.
And look at people. Rest
doing no more than adding
your perfection to another
day. Your task
is to carry your life high,
and play with it, hurl it
like a voice to the clouds
so it may retrieve the light
already gone from us.
That is your fate: to live
Do nothing.
Your work is you, nothing more.

Pedro Salinas

Love After Love

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Derek Walcott

WOW....these are amazing. I especially love The Door and Autobiography.....I needed to read these today

brilliant

ahem ---a little less literary, but strong all the same i think;

Thank You (lyrics) -Jamelia

The fights, those nights
I tried to pretend it don't hurt
The way, I prayed
Someday that you would love me
Really, completely
Just how I wanted it to be
But no, so wrong
Can't believe I stayed with you so long

You hit, you spit, you split, ever-y bit of me,
You stole, you broke, you're cold
You're such a joke to me,

For every last bruise you gave me
For every time I sat in tears
For the million ways you hurt me
I just wanna tell you this
You broke my world, made me strong
Thank you
Messed up my dreams, made me strong
Thank you

My head, near dead
Just the way you wanted it
My soul, stone cold
Cos I was under you're control
So young, so dumb
Knew just how to make me succumb
But I understand
To make yourself feel like a man

You hit, you spit, you split, ever-y bit of me,
You stole, you broke, you're cold
You're such a joke to me,

For every last bruise you gave me
For every time I sat in tears
For the million ways you hurt me
I just wanna tell you this
You broke my world, made me strong
Thank you
Messed up my dreams, made me strong
Thank you

You coulda had it all babe
It coulda been so right
I woulda given you everything
Morning through night
Yeah, you taught me some lessons
Those are my blessings
That won't happen again
Thank you

yup

OOh, piranha, love that one!!!

Love all of these. More please!

From 'Hurt' by Nine Inch Nails-

If I could start again
a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

Those words gave me strength to find myself again when I'd been a shadow for far too long.

Even more corny

But I am loving the words to Katy Perry's song Firework

Baby you're a firework,
come on let your colours burst
make them go ah, ah, ah
as you shoot across the sky
Baby you're a firework
come on show them what you're worth
make them go ah, ah, ah
You're gonna leave them all in awe

I like to think of this as me sticking 2 fingers up to my ExH and sayign look at me now!!

Another one....I love Ben Folds (hence my username!). It's from a male perspective but the sentiment is universal....

We'd hit the bottom,
I thought it was my fault
And in a way I guess it was
I'm just now finding out
What it was all about

Moved to the west coast away from everyone
She never told me that you called
Back when I was still, I was still in love

Till I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's bye-bye, goodbye, I tried
And I twisted it wrong just to make it right
Had to leave myself behind
I've been flying high all night
So come pick me up...I've landed

The daily dramas she made from nothing
So nothing ever made them right
She liked to push me and talk me back down
Until I believed I was the crazy one,
and in a way
I guess I was...

But I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's bye-bye, goodbye I tried
Treading a sea of a troubled mind
Had to leave myself behind
Singing bye-bye, goodbye I tried

If you wrote me off I'd understand it
Because I've been on some other planet
So come pick me up...
I've landed

And you will be so
happy to know
I've come alone,
it's over

But I opened my eyes and walked out the door
And the clouds came tumbling down
And it's by my goodbye I tried
Down comes the reign of the telephone czar
It's OK to call
Now I'll answer for myself

Come pick me up,
...I've landed

Humpty - I feel the same about "Firework" (KP)

Lovely thread BTW

caramel glad I'm not the only one, it is played a lot in my house at full volume!!!

have you heard the Christina Perri song- Jar of Hearts?

^No, I can't take one more step towards you
?Cause all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus:]
Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Who do you think you are?

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I've learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time

[Chorus]

It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
?Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

Who do you think you are?^

hmmmm...its not very empowering though
more like before detachment

Still - food for thought.....

From Alexandra Nouri's wonderfully incisive and witty blog:

When we leave the narcissist, it?s because the abuse has gotten intolerable. Afterward, when he calls us and pushes the buttons he knows extremely well, the temptation to give him another chance can be overwhelming. We?re hurt; we?re mad; we want to recoup some of our losses; we love him and want it to work; we just can?t believe that anyone would be so warped as to hurt us that way, so we want to give them the benefit of the doubt. All roads point to trying again with the narcissist.

Except for one. Reality. Which is Truth. Reality is Knowledge, and Honesty with yourself. It?s Your peace. Your health. This road points in the opposite direction, away from the narcissist. Yes, it?s an uphill road, but if you can invest in the climb, the view from the top is spectacular.

No More Drama - Mary J Blige

Why'd I play the fool
Go through ups and downs
Knowing all the time
You wouldn?t be around
Or maybe I liked the stress
Cuz I was young and restless
But that was long ago
I don?t wanna cry no more

No more pain
No more game
No drama
No more in my life

No more tears
No more fears
No drama
No more in my life

Oh it feels so good
When you let go
Of all the drama in your life
Now you're free from all the pain
Free from all the games
Free from all the stress
So find your happiness

I don?t know
Only god knows where the story ends for me
But I know where the story begins
It?s up to us to choose
Whether we win or lose
And I choose to win

Two Excellent, Excellent posts.