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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So my DH kind of prefers men, ...

118 replies

NotADudeExactly · 16/05/2011 20:51

New name - for obvious reasons, though I mostly just lurk on here.

The title says it all, really. Said to me during a heart-to-heart yesterday. He assures me he loves me, feels attracted to me, that there is nobody else. I don't blame him, it's alright, really. And, as cliche as it sounds: some of my best friends are in same sex relationships. It doesn't bother me in the least - though it admittedly bugs me majorly to even think of it in the case of DH.

I'm just kind of in shock, I suppose, and feeling like curling up in a ball and crying. We've been together going on nine years and were planning to have a baby next year. He seems to think that's all still on. On the one hand, I hope so too - on the other I am just finding it hard getting over this right now.

Not sure what I am looking for, really. I just really needed to share this with someone and I have promised DH I would not utter a word to anyone in RL.

:(

OP posts:
Thingumy · 17/05/2011 12:44

I think you are right Kall

I find it all a bit odd to admit to being 70% gay but very happy with 30% heterosexual relationship-the simplistic figures don't equal out to be happy ever after-do they?

I also cannot understand his certainty over his sexuality I mean,he's admitted to one gay experience in his youth and from that (and gay/bi fantasies?) he's deduced that he is predominantly gay? Where is all the experimental gay sex/relationships?
I personally think there is more to this sudden announcement than meets the eye.

I hope you have some good support OP.

2rebecca · 17/05/2011 13:02

I don't understand why he said anything if he doesn't want anything to change and largely agree with anyfucker. If you do maintain a relationship with this guy it will have to be as SGB suggests, staying together as "friends" but probably seeing other people sexually. To me this is a compromised relationship though. I could understand someone choosing it if they had kids, but not if they haven't. I want to be number 1 in my husband's life. Saying he sexually prefers men would put me a long way down a list.
My husband knows I sometimes fancy women (and being a typical bloke wishes I'd fancy more of them and when am I inviting one round and can he watch please...)
Announcing several years after marriage that I actually prefer women is completely different.
Why would I announce that unless as a prelude to explaining why I am dumping him?

FabbyChic · 17/05/2011 13:09

The most telling thing is he considers himself more gay than he does straight, 70 out of 100, and 30 for you. If not for you it appears he would go with a gay relationship.

If he had said 50/50 I would have said you could live with it and maybe more on from it knowing he has bi tendencies, someone who is bisexual is 50/50.

I could not be with someone for whom I was only 30 out of 100.

oohlaalaa · 17/05/2011 13:16

Presumably if he doesnt have an affair with a man, or make you feel any less of a comely women, this relationship can last....?

I would show him this thread. I'm sure I read somewhere that both Michael Portillo and Brad Pitt are bisexual.

Ask him if he can you be sexually attracted to men, but happily married and monogamous with a straight woman? It is not perfect, but I don't think perfect exists.

You sound a very strong resilient person - notadude. Well done. x

Thingumy · 17/05/2011 13:28

Announcing you are 70% gay is very different to saying you have the odd bi fantasy.

He's admitted to being predominantly homosexual.

What happens when he mets the man who triggers off the 70%-will he go with his principle preference or stay with the OP and bury his feelings?

kitkatya · 17/05/2011 13:55

I dont think she should be even contemplating staying with him, it will ultimately lead to another whole load of heartbreak when he falls for a bloke and, he will. I think he's trying to drop it to you gently OP. Where are your family and support?

If he is anything like my friends husband he was terrified of his manly father and his homophobic attitude. Please dont think this is any reflection on you. I hope you both get some counselling soon.

TobyLerone · 17/05/2011 14:45

I kind of agree with oohlaalaa.

If he doesn't want to leave you for a man, and he is still attracted to you as a woman, why can't you stay together?

My boyfriend is bisexual. So am I. I'm pretty sure I couldn't give a percentage relating to how gay/straight I am, and neither could he. We are perfectly happily in a committed, monogamous relationship.

After all, if we were both straight, there is still a likelihood that one or both of us could fall for someone else. I don't think it's inevitable that your husband, OP, will suddenly fall for a man and leave you.

AnyFucker · 17/05/2011 14:52

glad to see Toby has arrived Smile

TobyLerone · 17/05/2011 14:53

Heh. That's not something often said around these parts, AF Grin

bronze · 17/05/2011 15:09

I would agree with Toby except my worry would be why has he sudenly told you, what has triggered it?

TobyLerone · 17/05/2011 15:13

Yes, the trigger is interesting. I wonder if it's to do with his family being so conservative and religious. It's likely been playing on his mind for ages, and it's actually a good thing that he told you because it means he feels safe enough to do so.

AnyFucker · 17/05/2011 15:19

Toby, I am always glad to see you Smile

TobyLerone · 17/05/2011 15:20

Likewise, AF. And I'm glad you've got your old name back on. It suits you better :)

AnyFucker · 17/05/2011 15:21

cheers

NotADudeExactly · 17/05/2011 15:48

Back at home and alone for a moment.

I really do appreciate all the responses. Being able to share my thoughts and feelings with someone helps more than I can say!

I'm trying to keep an open mind for the time being. I'm happy to be in a relationship with someone who's bi - I have been before (he cheated with other women - different story). I'm also happy to remain friends with someone who's gay - although I admit that losing my lover of eight years would cause massive heartbreak no matter what the circumstances.

For what it's worth, I've decided to stop trying to slap labels on DH for the time being. I subscribe to the view that most people's sexual orientation tends to be some shade of grey or other rather than pure black or white. He is whatever he is. I guess it's for him and me to figure out what each of us wants from a relationship and whether our wishes are I any way compatible.

The bit that really makes me hurt is that I didn't know, did not get any chance to decide whether I was up for this ride (and I might well have been). And then, of course, there is the thing about my own gender issues. The fact that, no matter how well I've been raised by my radical feminist mum, I have still internalized certain ideas of what a "real" woman is and how she has to look and act in order to land and keep a man. Not something I believe in on an intellectual level; however, emotionally, I suffer from a sense that I have failed as a woman. Which is admittedly fucking dumb!

Decided to ignore the above admission for a while, slapped on some serious makeup and spent a bit too much money on some gorgeous lingerie and a pair of ridiculously expensive heels (purely for me, not DH!!!). Probably not the most intellectually coherent response, but it did help. Now resisting the urge to feel I've also failed as a feminist. Blush

I'm not really sure yet about some of the questions that have been raised here, e.g. what triggered DH's decision to let me know. I am planning to find out, of course. I don't think that wanting to sleep with another man is it, really. I've always said to him that if he would ever want to try this I would be fine and vice versa. None of us has ever asked for the free pass and he still hasn't.

Basically, I feel very ambivalent about the entire affair. On the one hand, I'm happy he's told me, pleased that apparently I'm the sort of wife a man like my DH can tell this to and - on an abstract level - very, very proud of him for coming to terms with his own feelings and expressing them.

On the other hand, it's also kind of as though someone died. I suppose grieving really does come closest to what I am feeling at the moment. And I'm angry because I feel deceived, insecure, because my reality has just sort of rotated by 90 degrees and hurting.

Sorry, this was much, much longer than I intended for it to become. And there's a lot of rambling. The thing is, I don't feel very coherent at the moment.

OP posts:
Albrecht · 17/05/2011 16:06

Sounds like you are in shock. I think you can only wait for the dust to settle and see how things are over the coming months. Would you both consider some counselling so you can talk about the secrecy and also the gender stuff?

People seem very hung up on the 70% gay thing. I don't know if this helps but a gay friend has a bi bf and said it probably makes more sense to think of sexual orientation as on a scale from 0 - only interested in 1 gender (your own or the other) to 100 - interested in both as much as each other. Interested that is, not acting on it.

Interesting you've give him the premission to ask for a free pass in the past and he didn't confess then?

TobyLerone · 17/05/2011 16:09

I've decided to stop trying to slap labels on DH for the time being. I subscribe to the view that most people's sexual orientation tends to be some shade of grey or other rather than pure black or white. He is whatever he is. I guess it's for him and me to figure out what each of us wants from a relationship and whether our wishes are I any way compatible.

This is brilliant, OP. And surely all that your husband could ask from you.

And bollocks to the feminism stuff! You already know it's stupid to tell yourself this is your fault, because it isn't. It's nobody's fault. You buy underwear and shoes and perfume and makeup and chocolate and wine and whatever the hell else makes you feel good. You sound like a truly good person and a great wife to your husband.

NotADudeExactly · 17/05/2011 18:24

I'm definitely considering counselling - for myself that is. In fact the one thing I really, really would love at the moment is some place safe to spend an hour sobbing and someone to hand me tissues on a regular basis.

To be fair, I am not at this point inconsolable, but I really would love a good cry and an open ear.

You sound like a truly good person and a great wife to your husband.

Thanks! That's pretty much what I've always tried hard to be anyway. I think I'm now officially allowing myself to feel good about being open minded, mature, kind and much, much better at coping with stuff than I previously thought I was. I kind of need something to feel good about right now.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 17/05/2011 18:54

You sound like a truly good person and a great wife to your husband.

yes, you do

much more than he deserves, IMO

but that's my opinion, and mine alone

you have much to be proud of yourself for

can he say the same ?

want2sleep · 17/05/2011 19:47

ok today it is a bit different and people accept more these days except...I have relatives whose mum is now in same sex relationship and they are f@@ked up over it tbh, constantly bullied in school always fighting to protect the other lucky their is 5 of them. They get awful stick...why because kids can be the cruelest!!

I would seriously think about bringing a child into the equation....what if after dc is born and ex goes off with man...how will you feel? I met a bloke once who wife went off with another woman....he said the cruelest thing was it wasnt another man to compare to so crueler again! He felt in 'limbo'

I would get some outside talking on this not from him but from a therapist as it is not just your relaionship but others 'dc' could be involved....I wonder if he knew before now but only just had courage to bring it up...this is a bit of leading you on and not being honest 9 years ago.

You need to speak to him again and ask has he tried to have a relationship with another man or is it a fantasy? It doesnt matter who he goes off with man or woman it is you that will be left smashed emotionally!

Sorry only read you heading title so sorry if repeated by others.

BestNameEver · 17/05/2011 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

saffysquashmouse · 17/05/2011 21:02

Hi OP, I read your post and thought I would share my experience with you. When I was halfway through my pregnancy my DP left me telling me he was gay. It totally blew my world apart. After many lies, I discovered he had left me for a man (despite him telling me he hadn't done anything while we were together). About a month before our baby was born he contacted me (after ignoring me and our unborn child for 4 months) and told me he missed me yada yada. I was desparate for him to be at the birth of our baby, as he had been for his previous dc's. He did attend the birth of our baby and I have absolutely no regrets about that. Right from the off, I had an instinct that this "gay thing" was an itch he had to scratch. The relationship with the man didn't last long, and we actually resumed our relationship when our baby was 9 months old and it continued for about a year. We were going to get married. Our relationship ended for many reasons (he ended it) but it was the right thing to do. Whether he is gay or bi doesn't matter to me, what mattered was the lies, and the fact that he ruined probably the single most important event that I would have in my life. I never dreamt for a minute that I would be left while pregnant (I don't mean that arrogantly). He promised me faithfully he would come to the ante natal classes with me and he didn't. I went on my own, and I was the only one there on my own, I felt so ashamed and such a scumbag. I couldn't go back to the rest. I am still so angry and so hurt that I didn't get the (relationship surrounding the) pregnancy I dreamed of. I bought all of the nursery stuff on my own, I had no one to lie next to me in bed talking to the bump, or giving cuddles, and obviously I didn't get to have sex (this was really important to me). It is unlikely that I will have another child now, due to my age and the fact that I am single. The fact that he robbed me of the pregnancy I had always dreamed of makes me despise him so much. When I first met him, I thought he was a wonderful dad. Turns out he has been pretty rubbish where our child is concerned (that is a whole other thread). Sorry for long post, and I didn't intend on hijacking your thread. Take care OP. Whichever route you take, make sure you are no 1. Good luck. xx

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 17/05/2011 22:00

I'd also like to say to the OP: you are doing brilliantly. You are clearly very kind and compassionate and free from mundane bigotries - very much the sort of person who is going to retain her dignity no matter what the outcome of all this is. I do hope the outcome is one that leaves you both feeling good about yourselves and your lives.

And I would add, as someone else did, that there are basically no guarantees that anyone's partner will not fall in love with someone else and leave. That's true of straight, gay and bi people in monogamous relationships. All people can do is their best, but Stuff Happens.

bronze · 18/05/2011 08:23

OP you are lesson in how to handle things like a mature woman

Saffy- hope things get better and better for you

TiggyD · 18/05/2011 10:28

You've found a person who loves you. You are very lucky. I never have and don't think I ever will.

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