The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spring Into Summer.

[Mouseface]

Hello

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

This is a quest full of Babes, all fighting to remain sober, cut down or are somewhere in between right now.

You ticket to travel is free, it won't expire, and the Bus will always be here, even if there are days when you are not. So come say hi.

I'm Mouse. I have a thing for cheese and vodka, not together, well, not always!

Here is a LINK to the last thread, where you can read all of the previous threads and the journeys so far.

Mouse so right - never ending. However garden looking fab, Just spent an hour cleaning black bagging DS's room.
I am like your DH though, very easily sidetracked, but have discovered audiobooks, and can work away on one thing for ages whilst listening to something that totally engrosses me, currently working my way through a Lee Child, and I only allow myself to listen whilst doing something constructive, have found myself looking for things to do in order to listen to it total saddo!!! But I am not knocking it whilst it is working.

Mwah mwah to you and Nemo.

Both kids away at sleepovers so an unexpected night off. My mum asked me what I was up to, and I said "two bottles and passed out on the couch" .
But that was the old me, the new me is going to cook something nice and watch crap on tv, safe and serene!!!

tinybubbles well done you, the way you will feel in the morning will be worth it alone, nothing better than waking up any day hangover free, but Sunday is always particularly great!! .

Good for you tinybubbles you sound really determined

Hi bafana have a lovely evening.

hey all - just dropping in. am rather off the bus at the mo, off everything really and for no real reason. Money worries and relationship worries but that's nothing new, am used to both of those. Feel like I'm swimming through treacle IYSWIM.
Am ok, just.......Meh!

Hi ma, I am looking out of my window across at Fife - the weather has brightened up, I always find it easier when the sky is bright. Do you fancy meeting up sometime?

Hellooooo! I have been on holiday for the past week, so have a lot of catching up to do. Hope all is good with everyone...i did drink but i was with my mother so I'm hoping that's ok will catch up and get back in asap1 x

Bafana - thank you for the Mwahs Nemo has finally given in after a VERY hard day here. Lots of illness, aches, pains, tiredness and tantrums = a grumpy Mouse house.

Anyway, I'm off to watch BGT with my gorgeous DD and eat lots and lots of chocolate

Night all. Sorry to see that some are still struggling xx

hey venus - that would be good.
i need a good kicking and a motivational talking to!

Flying visit - someone earlier said that they were "more fun" after a glass of wine.

I had ten years of my adult life drinking heavily and another nine of essentially not drinking.

I have yet to meet ANYONE AT ALL who struck me as "more fun" after one glass.

Essentially, all of them were just themselves, but with a glass of wine in them.

I never beleived that a drink made others more fun.

And if I didn't believe it, you can bet your life normal drinkers don't believe it either.

Don't fool yourself - it might (temporarily) make you more confident (till the fear and paranoia set in), but more fun? Nope.

isindie you're back!! How was your holiday? hope you managed to get some rest.

hope you had a good night mouse

MIFLAW i think it was me that said that, and although you are right in one way, especially in terms of being out pubs/parties etc. However i know that at 6pm after a stressy day when i'm snappy and fed up a glass of wine makes me feel relaxed and able to do bedtimes and stories with a smile. It is the rest of the bottle(s) that are the problem. Of course it may be that I am only stressy in the first place because I drink too much generally, we will see...

Day 7 here - work to do, maybe a BBQ and no drinking

Good morning I seem to have emerged from a mad spell! I think the problem was that instead of batting the "little" voice away I stopped and listened, and the idea just sort of took root and I couldn't shift it! My DH was my saviour, he gently reminded me that when I drink I become consumed by it. For me, it's not so much about how much I was drinking, more the terrible guilt/obsessing/circular thinking that became so draining and poisonous that drinking seemed the only cure. Weirdly once he said it I felt relieved and the thoughts have melted away, I guess I needed to hear it from someone else. Now I'm very relieved that I didn't drink and want to learn from this, so I'm writing it down.

Tiny I used to get very snappy around 6pm. That has stopped completely, I can get a bit ratty if I'm hungry anytime of day. I think it's definitely something to do with our brains looking for their fix, when they usually get it, as if the demanding voice gets louder and more persistent, you get more tetchy/edgy, so reach for wine... Tada instant cure!!!

Indie's baaaaaaaack!

Thurso how are things this morning. will be around on and off all day - talk to me dearest.

Morning All

Day 4 and I am determined! Lovely day yesterday, already been to the farmers' market to buy some tasty bits and pieces. Quiet day planned - no hangover, no guilt, no sickness.

Hungry and/OR thirsty is to be avoided - as I've noticed The Addictive Voice re-emerges during those times. It's simply the lower brain, the survival bit of the brain kicking into gear.

Alas for some of us alcohol has somehow got caught up in the essential/survival wiring of the brain. One simple approach to stopping drinking is learning to recognise this addictive voice, and use the more evolved part of the brain, or higher brain - to think the drink through and take OUR power back.

Try googling AVRT - it's very interesting stuff.

Morning

Hope you're all well. Welcome back isinde

Regarding being more fun after a drink: I think it's a delusion, certainly one that most drinkers have but it's not how others perceive us I don't think, unless they are the ones drinking with us therefore validating their own drinking and drinking behaviour.

I've had lots of sober fun recently, I had a really lovely afternoon with my sponsor on friday out in the sunshine. We were out to do my step three in a place special to me but as it was such a beautiful hot day, the place I had chosen had other people wandering round enjoying the day too (was a small urban wildlife reserve with views across the city where I used to go often just to sit and think, often with a good few drinks inside me). There was no way I was going to do step three with an audience so we ended up playing a game of cat and mouse until we found a spot where we couldn't be seen, and it was hilarious

4c4 - do you have a link to a good description of AVRT please? what I found sounded interesting - not sure why it's considered contrary to AA principles? (have I got that right?). I know my sponsor would tell me to stick to the AA programme and not muddle it with other methods of sobriety, but I like to mix it a up a little and so long as it isn't in direct conflict with the AA steps then I can't see the harm. The inner voice is what trips me up every time and I have very little defence against it. I'm hoping that AA will eventually make it vanish but until then I could do with methods of dispelling it, or at least minimising it because that argument inside my head does my bloody nut in sometimes, round and round and round I've fought it successfully for almost four weeks ( ) but I'd quite like it to piss off really

Gah, it's absolutely pissing down today. Obviously the weather is raining itself out because it never rains on the 6th of June. No siree.

Hello babes.

MissP so pleased for you that you've broken your 'bad spell' . Hopefully now that you've also written your feelings down your reasons for feeling the way you did make sense to you and you can use them in the future to steer you in the right direction. Well done

waves to everyone else! (Indie hope you've had a lovely holiday!).

Well I'm heading towards day 7 - I've never, ever gotten past day 5 that I can remember (well not since I stopped drinking when pregnant with my youngest DC, 6 years ago ) but I've got my first sober weekend almost under my belt and today, I will not be drinking.

After tomorrow I'm going to stop counting - sounds silly but I know what I'm like and am liable to use any kind of stretch of time to justify having a drink. I get the voice that says "See? You've proved you're not an alcholic, you can be a normal drinker like others, g'wan, have a couple". So I'm going to take this ODAAT (but still be prund of myself that I've got this far!).

DP is annoying me at times as he seemed almost resentful last night that there was no alcohol in the house - I threw a £20 note at him and told him to fuck off to the shop if that's what he wanted, but I wouldn't be joining him. He didn't go, but there was an atmosphere that lingered all night so I'm going to have to concentrate on my own sobriety and try not to attach him to mine, if that makes sense.

Rambling again!

proud even!

been for a run - found a lovely route in a nearby nature reserve alongside the canal - saw heron and swifts and a swan and her fluffy cygnets and , I think, a kingfisher. Only managed 20 mins but am building back up towards 30 minutes after recent slide.
Thanks jesus for the kick and venus for the offer!

WasOnce thank you I absolutely know what you mean about not attaching your sobriety to your DH I think you have to give yourself permission to be selfish for once. I have realised that my sobriety is mine and mine alone. I have to take ownership of it. Nurture it. Guard it fiercely. Work at it constantly. But I get to celebrate it selfishly cos in the end I did it all by myself, and that's the way it has to be.. for me anyway. Your doing really well, keep going!! Take care x

Evening Babes

IsinDe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lovely to have you back sweets xx

I'm pooped, took the wolf and Nemo on a walk around on old hill fort near here, first 'real' walk since having him so took it really easy. Just ordered a curry as my reward for the week

Bye bye burnt calories!

Anyway, just a flying visit.

Ma - tomorrow is the start of a whole new week. Get your arse into gear lovely and start again.

You should meet with venus, if only I were nearer, I'd be there like a shot!

Anyway, off to eat. See you tomorrow Babes xx

Holly

Here you go:

www.positiveatheism.org/rw/nutshell.htm

You are trying to stop drinking permanently, right? So, do as much thinking and reading as you can. If you find something that makes sense, use it - and share it with your colleagues. I can't see how any sensible person would want to stop you doing that. If they do, I'd want to look at why.

If anyone tries to tell you that thinking and questioning is bad and wrong, or that other methods don't work, they are very very misguided.

That's not to say support isn't important - it very much is, and there are many ways of achieving that too - like this thread, and may other internet-based resources. Did you check out WFS by the way?

Golly do you think we have jinxed the weather?

babes

I need some views please before I make an important decision.

I share my two beloved dogs with my ex - they're here most weekends and holidays. They are both cool with cats. I adopted a part burmese cat last August who is my pride and joy. I adore her.

I am niggling away at the thought of getting a pedigree burmese kittenfrom a breeder as I love them - I lived with one years ago, and it would be company for her when I am at work. I have looked at re-homing a rescue burmese, or a neutered former breeding queen, but I ahve doubts about that and I have fallen in love with a particularly stunning and unusual kitten cat.

However

I don't want to diminish my special relationship with my current cat
I usually prefer rescue
I am highly suspicious of breeders of animals who advertise on the internet. But I have checked this out and this lady is THE breeder and number 1 expert in her field. I have spoken to her several times and she is aboslutely sound.
The kitten is at the other end of the country
The kitten is expensive ( but I can afford him)

What to do?

You could make a list with 3 columns: get no more cat; get kitten; get rescue / ex-breeder. Then divide page in to 2 - head and heart.

In 'head' column analyse all the rational reasons for/against each option; in the 'heart' column write the things that you feel (like you just WANT the kitten).

It won't give you an answer, but it will show you if there are any real practical stumbling blocks (like needing to buy a new house because they can't all fit in where you are ) and it will also help you plan how to minimise the impact if you do decide that you heart rules.

PS - send us a photo when you get the new kitten