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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Spring Into Summer.

1002 replies

Mouseface · 09/05/2011 21:43

Hello Smile

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

This is a quest full of Babes, all fighting to remain sober, cut down or are somewhere in between right now.

You ticket to travel is free, it won't expire, and the Bus will always be here, even if there are days when you are not. So come say hi.

I'm Mouse. I have a thing for cheese and vodka, not together, well, not always! Grin

Here is a LINK to the last thread, where you can read all of the previous threads and the journeys so far.

OP posts:
lovecorrie · 15/05/2011 18:15

Oh she certainly knew at a young age that i was 'different' sometimes. Poor little thing was helping me to bed when she was 7 or 8 :(. She really seems to have forgiven me though. It was when she got to 17 or 18 and I was really out of control at times that she decided to make a stand and refused to have anything to do with me for a while - something awful happened when i was drunk and she literally moved out and in with her dad - even then i couldn't stop being vile - sending her drunken abusive texts etc. i t was hideous. I have calmed down a lot since then and as she's not at home, she thinks i am completely sober - which, of course, i had been until recently. I need to keep this up.

GollyHolightly · 15/05/2011 18:23

Oh lovecorrie Sad

I think the important thing now is to build on the relationship as it is. I don't need to tell you that it'll be much stronger if it's done on an honest footing Wink

Best of luck, anyway. You're not doing this all on your own though, we're walking the path with you.

lucilastic · 15/05/2011 19:09

Thank you Golly and "Lovecorrie*. I keep thinking I've got "years" to sort myself out but maybe not...OMG.
Damaging my kids with my behaviour is my rock bottom.

dementedma · 15/05/2011 19:59

Day 1 here again!
This is so bloody tedious.....

thornrose · 15/05/2011 20:11

Note to self. Remember when you walked to school to collect dd and you were so pissed you could barely walk in a straight line? Miraculously no-one noticed.
Remember when you blacked out in the toilet in the middle of the night and banged your head? You came round to see her screaming with fear, you told her you fainted.
Remember when you had to tell your dd her dad had died and she clung onto you saying "you're not going to die as well are you mummy?" You swore you had no intention of dieing, but continue to put your health at risk in so many ways.
There's the bloody downside you silly cow.

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:12

Hey Mich here. I am sober today. thats a start. got to keep going now havent I. So good to know I am not the only one out there. I feel like a pariah in my village at the moment. Who has succeeded with AA, medication, other support networks?

thornrose · 15/05/2011 20:14

Sorry if that offended anyone but I need to get it out there. No one in RL knows.

lucilastic · 15/05/2011 20:20

It didn't offend me thornrose. It helped me more than you'll ever know. Thank you.

thornrose · 15/05/2011 20:26

I panicked after pressing post luci, but if it helps one person then perhaps I'll leave it there.

GollyHolightly · 15/05/2011 20:31

Thornrose, it does no harm to remind yourself of the very good reasons why you need to stop or stay stopped x

Hi Mich! Grin

I go to AA, have been going for almost three months now. I've had a couple of 'fails' but I'm hoping that once I get a couple of the steps under my belt that the desire to drink will start to drop away. This is what I'm told, anyway.

I didn't want to go to AA initially (does anyone?!) but I like it now, I enjoy the meetings and I've met some great people. I'm not in the slightest bit religious and I'm finding it very hard to get my head round that aspect of it but I'm told it will come to me if I do the work - not God, you understand, but something more than just me, and tbh I'll do anything to rid myself of this bloody problem so I'm willing to do whatever it takes.

Well done on getting here. It's great, honest Grin

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:34

Hi Golly! thanks for that. have you got a sponsor yet? I am finding it difficult. There don't seem to be many women around. I dont really know what the right thing is to do. but it's nice to hear that you are finding it useful.

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:36

god I know that feeling! I do day ones every week. hate it hate it

GollyHolightly · 15/05/2011 20:39

I'm in Bristol, there's a choice of about 90 meetings a week to choose from here and there are plenty of women. There is at least one women only meeting (but it's on a day I can't make it unfortunately). I'd say most of the meetings i go to are more male, but a good few are at least a third female. The ethos is that it's women for women and men for men so if you do decide to go then you will be introduced to women and you can take it from there - experienced AA'ers will know which meetings are less male dominated.

I do have a sponsor, yes, and I've just joined my first home group which feels good!

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:40

whats a home group?? never heard of that

GollyHolightly · 15/05/2011 20:41

Sorry, I'm a bit confused, are you already attending meetings? I was posting as though you didn't know much about it, sorry! Blush

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:41

didnt offend me. It reminds me that i am not alone

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:43

yeah I have attended on and off. but not been to one for a month now. I have been eyeballed with university stuff. I have asked someone to be a sponsor, not sure if she is right though. But i didn't know anything about home groups

GollyHolightly · 15/05/2011 20:43

A home group is a group where you are part of the team that runs it. You get a job like making tea/greeting people/buying the milk and biscuits and you're expected to go to that meetings most weeks and be part of secondary meetings about the running of the group (once a month, I think?) It's like have a base - I still go to lots of other meetings all over the city but my home group is the one I feel most at home in, which is how I think it's meant to be.

BBwannaB · 15/05/2011 20:43

Welcome Mich glad to see you found us here.

Ma you are never tedious! Sunday seems like a good day for day 1 to me, did you get a run in today?

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:45

oh I see. well I will have to see. thanks for your support guys. I am off to bed. early night and a mug of tea for me. day 1.....done

GollyHolightly · 15/05/2011 20:46

Well done on day 1, hope to see you again soon!

mich1268 · 15/05/2011 20:48

you will

lucilastic · 15/05/2011 21:20

Welcome Mitch. Thank you BB and Golly for your contributions tonight. Have drunk too much already. My 4.5 yr old is still awake and I need to sort her and my life out.
Off to brush my teeth, get the (BIG) glass of water, try and read my book and sleep.
Tomorrow is another day.
Goodnight brave babes.

Original poster
Mouseface · 15/05/2011 21:20

Hello Mich Smile

thornrose - such a raw post, I hope it helps you and others.

Goodnight babes. xxxxx

OP posts:
Sqee · 15/05/2011 21:24

I'm speechless and in tears. You women are utterly amazing. I been reading your posts for the past hour and I feel overwhelmed by the support and love you give one and other. (too emotional to tell my story right now. I wouldn't know where to start)

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