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Original poster

do you believe in soulmates and are you with yours?

80 replies

edwardsbella · 05/05/2011 13:01

do you think that there is only one man that your are meant to be with?
have you met him? are you married to him? were you with him and why arent you still together ?

OP posts:
Conflugenglugen · 05/05/2011 13:08

I don't believe you have only one soulmate; I believe you have many. I have married my soulmates; others I have not married.

TobyLerone · 05/05/2011 13:11

No, I think it's all a crock of shit.

I'm pretty sure almost everyone here could tell tales of that person they were convinced was their 'soulmate' (shudder) when they met. Several months/years/decades later, their name is barely-rememberable, or there is at least no relationship to speak of any more. I know I have a few of those.

My partner and I are perfect for each other. We plan on being together forever. But nobody can foresee the future and how people change over time. For now, I cannot imagine life without him, and neither would I want to contemplate that. But past experience of feeling exactly this way about a couple of other people has taught me to have a slightly healthier outlook.

zikes · 05/05/2011 13:12

Bleurgh. No.

Pinkjenny · 05/05/2011 13:13

Good Lord, no. That's way too much pressure.

expatinscotland · 05/05/2011 13:14

No. Bunch of immature, adolescent silliness.

BooBooGlass · 05/05/2011 13:17

Erm, no. But your name tells me you do Wink

TobyLerone · 05/05/2011 13:17

Grin BooBoo

AMumInScotland · 05/05/2011 13:19

No - I think there are different people who can be the right one for you depending where you are at in your life at the time, you meet them and you work at it, and you make a working relationship with them. Sometimes that can last a lifetime, sometimes it can't - you are both changing as people as you go through life and sometimes you grow towards each other and sometimes apart.

I love my husband, and he's the right one for me. But if I hadn't met him, say because I'd taken a job in a different town, then I would have met someone else who would have become the right one for me.

I think the idea of a "soulmate" - the "other half of your soul that you were torn apart from and have to find" - stops people from building good relationships, because they think it is perfection or nothing, and that makes it hard to deal with the reality of a proper adult relationship with another person.

inbetweener · 05/05/2011 13:21

Indeed Booboo Grin

Oh and no I dont. Pile of poo. Relationships are hard, you have to work at them, nothing is perfect.

Malificence · 05/05/2011 13:42

Yes, absolutely yes.
When/if you have one, you'll understand.

She3po · 05/05/2011 13:45

I do and I believe I'm married to him. It's not always a bed of roses, but I couldn't imagine being without him.

JeffTracy · 05/05/2011 13:47

Yes - of course. I just wish Helena Christensen would stop taking out injunctions against me Sad

deemented · 05/05/2011 13:49

Yes, i think so.

But not in a twee kind of way.

For me it has always been manshape. He was my first proper love, and it's always come back to him. We've both had other relationships, and i've been married. But in the end it's him. I'm like a moth to a flame.

bigbumum · 05/05/2011 13:49

No i dont think so either probably because i chose my husband very carefully.

I wasnt "drawn" to him and although we dont know what each of us are thinking and all that crap, we are very very deeply suited.

Couldnt imagine life without him.

moonbeam32 · 05/05/2011 13:50

I'm with malifence on this one

I have been with my husband since i was 17. I have not had any other serious relationship but i do believe my husband is my soul mate. We just 'get' each other.

I can't ever imagine being with anyone else.

Ragwort · 05/05/2011 13:52

No & No Grin

Original poster
edwardsbella · 05/05/2011 17:14

im gald some feel like i do - love twilight as you can tell booboo
deemented its just like a moth to a flame

OP posts:
KittyChat · 05/05/2011 17:17

I'm with Toby.

The closeness and synchronicity I have with my DP has come about after years of shared experiences. Not because we are two bodies, one soul or some such nonsense.

If you do believe you are with your one soulmate and they die tomorrow, leaving you a widow at age 30, do you believe that is it for you ... forever?

sayithowitis · 05/05/2011 17:17

Yes. I know I am with mine. Like Mal and her DH, ours is a very longstanding relationship and I really could not imagine being without him or with anyone else.

He is my best friend, the only person I would entrust with my life. I know that he loves me absolutely as I do him; he makes me feel better when I am sad, he looks after me when I am ill and has seen me in the most undignified situations I have ever been in, he knows that at times I can be a complete cow but puts up with it. We share a sense of humour, we share similar values but can talk about those where we disagree without it becoming a recipe for divorce. We love being together, love talking together, frequently find that one of us begins a conversation about something and that the other one was just thinking about the same thing, we even find that we often choose the same Christmas /valentines/anniversary cards for each other.

We do have disagreements and we each have habits that annoy the other, but somehow we manage to find ways of accepting our differences whilst revelling in our similarities. And he has seen me naked. And still wants to, despite the fact that over the 30 odd years we have been together, bits of me have drooped/sagged etc. If that is the definition of a soulmate, then yes, I am with mine.

Original poster
edwardsbella · 05/05/2011 17:21

kittychat well im not with the one i want to be with right now but i think if anything happened to him then i would never feel that kind of connection ever again .
sayithowitis lovely post must be lovely Smile
some of you are very cynical

OP posts:
lazarusb · 05/05/2011 17:22

Yes, but only because of dh. Before him I was as cynical as you could get. In fact, the force of my feelings for him in those early days, weeks and months frightened me a bit because I didn't believe it was either possible or safe to feel that way about someone. It's not really in me to believe in 'soulmates' but we are... I just don't do hopeless romantic Grin

gettingolderbytheday · 05/05/2011 17:22

No and no, sorry

TechLovingDad · 05/05/2011 17:22

Not soulmates but DW is what I'd call the perfect one for me. We "fit" totally.

To the extent that if we ever split up, I know I'd never meet anyone to match her again.

Malificence · 05/05/2011 17:25

If my DH dropped dead tomorrow, it wouldn't make him any less my husband or my soul mate, he is my husband forever, death can't change that.
There would never be, could never be anyone else, ever.

TechLovingDad · 05/05/2011 17:27

Unless Beyonce rang me, of course.