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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Think husband left poo in the sink

103 replies

hmmcake · 02/05/2011 11:45

I'm having real troubles with hubby, we've been together 8 years now, married for 3 and we have a beautiful 8 month daughter that we had to go through ivf for. We have a lovely home with no mortgage and get by on hubbys part time job - I would like to return to work but hubby finds it very hard looking after the baby - and we'd both like another child so he'd rather I was a stay at home Mum. So by and large we're happy, but like everybody else we have baggage, and ours is from our mothers. His worked long hours in a hospital and spent all her spare time cleaning the house and arguing with his father, mine watched TV and dumped me in a childrens home. Obviously I want better for our children and I thought he did too but he's reacting really badly to the house having to be cleaner. The other week he left a piece of his own faeces - not the babys - in the bathroom sink. He's been making things go mouldy around the house since I made a fuss about things going mouldy and now 2 weeks after the poo incident, baby and I have diarrhoea after I woke up 3 nights ago having to throw up. I love my husband very much but that person's gone now and I'm wondering if we wouldn't be safer and happier without this pathetic child that's appeared in his place. What on earth do I do to fix this???

OP posts:
catchmeifyoucan · 02/05/2011 19:16

Clearly it wasn't poo in the sink. Unless the OP scooped a bit up and had a good old sniff (and even then that doesn't prove human poo) then there's no way on earth she could label it her DH's poo just like that. I believe it was exactly what her DH said it was.

carlywurly · 02/05/2011 19:52

pancakeflipper, great post. Totally agree!

Skifit · 02/05/2011 19:56

He sounds a bit nutty to do such a thing.
Does he always wind you up in this way. Mad!

ThatVikRinA22 · 02/05/2011 20:04

another one who agrees with pancakeflipper here....she said what i was too in eloquent to!

i dont think he has a problem. i think you do op. i think he is being a normal bloke with the towels and the washing...your op is a massively weird assumption to make - that he shit in the sink to make the house untidy because his mother was a cleaner and he didnt like the sterile environment.

i dont believe that he has done that. i think the bit of muck in the sink was exactly that - a bit of muck.

op - i think you need to speak to someone in RL and get some perspective.

tiredemma · 02/05/2011 20:18

Maypole, I am a nurse and his behaviour is not, I repeat not indicative of someone with a mental illness. It certainly does not warrant an assessment in A&E by a Psychiatrist.

Complete waste of time that would be Hmm

Iggly · 02/05/2011 20:31

OP says that he has got worse since the house has to be cleaner.

Does this mean that he was already dirty/lazy and you've asked him to change? Or has he got worse (you said something about being a child again?)

As for the poo in the sink - what made you leap to that conclusion? Most of us wouldn't think our DH would do such a thing, but OP obviously has her suspicions which must come from somewhere.
Seems a bit harsh to turn it around and accuse the OP of being a loon.

atswimtwolengths · 02/05/2011 21:53

I agree, Iggly. Why do people start saying "It's definitely not poo!" when she's said it is? Maybe she thought we wouldn't appreciate a full description of it!

I think it's appalling to say she's the one with the problem when she's come on here for help.

BangkokChickBoys · 02/05/2011 21:53

C'mon who hasn't taken a shit in a sink at some point?

nobody??

oh...

Pancakeflipper · 02/05/2011 21:57

Have you read all thread atswim2lengths when she says it could be garden soil and he says it is? The OP isn't convinced it is poo. And one little pellet in the sink? Well that's some bowel control...

RubyPink · 02/05/2011 22:18

come on... this isn't serious is it? Why and how would any adult leave poo in the sink?

squeakytoy · 02/05/2011 22:49

bangs head on wall

nobody has left poo in the bloody sink... the op has admitted that she didnt know what the substance was...

I do wish the Op would come back though, as this has to be one of the most bizarre threads and I feel there is a lot more to it than poo and damp clothes.

usualsuspect · 02/05/2011 22:51

what an odd thread

Glitterknickaz · 02/05/2011 22:55

Could it have possibly been a chocolate button rather than poo Grin

RoyalFucker · 02/05/2011 22:57

wha a load of bollocks Biscuit

Vicky2011 · 02/05/2011 23:21

I'm coming round to the view that the initial post was very misleading and that we now have a picture of a much less alarming situation.

BUT, aware I'm projecting here so forgive me, it is very common for someone who lives with a person who has MH problems to look like they are the one who is ill. Because they act in a way that only becomes understandable in the context of the other person's behaviour, they can appear, to others, hysterical and a bit unhinged. Been there.

May very well be irrelevant but thought I'd share.

FlyingFig · 02/05/2011 23:22

I'm not sure what makes me wince more. The use of the word 'hubby' in the OP or the thought of anyone clipping off a section of poo, in order to strategically place in the sink.

cestlavielife · 02/05/2011 23:29

why does "hubby find it hard looking after the baby"?
at 8 months old she is responding reacting and it should be easy enough - do you give him the chance to look after her? are you over protective of her?

HHLimbo · 03/05/2011 01:55

Hmmcake - it looks like something is not right here. Could you talk about your DHs behaviour with your GP, they will be able to advise you if it is serious and what can be done.
You should also get the diarhoea and vomitting checked up for baby and you.

best wishes x

WorzselMaamage · 03/05/2011 02:09

This reply has been deleted

I think you need to go and have a chat with your doctor.

expatinscotland · 03/05/2011 02:12

this is a totally warped thread.

mymummyisasquarehead · 03/05/2011 07:55

I am wondering if maybe the Op is the one with the issue and she is seeign things that arent there.

Maybe a tad OCD about cleaning and looking for someone to blame????

FreudianSlipOnACrown · 03/05/2011 08:20

If you suspect your DH of doing something like shitting in the sink, then regardless of whether he actually did, something is not right - your relationship is quite possibly doomed.

QuintessentialPains · 03/05/2011 08:31

BangkokChickBoys Mon 02-May-11 21:53:59
"C'mon who hasn't taken a shit in a sink at some point?"

nah, .... the boot of an abandoned car maybe. .....

OP I am concerned for you.
You blame your dhs mood on his upbringing, on him wanting to break the patterns created by his compulsively clean mum, and that he is deliberately making the place dirty. You are accusing your dh of causing you and your son harm. Through uncleanliness.

But are you turning into his mum? Is he in fact worried about you, and your own OCD tendencies, with the cleaning? I am concerned that your view of your reality is very skewed from his, and I think you could benefit from talking to your gp.
Please get some help OP. Talk to your GP about your concerns, and get help for your family. Something isnt right.

CorporateBoy69 · 24/10/2023 18:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Wittyname10 · 24/10/2023 19:30

Wow! What a trend setter! I don’t anyone that doesn’t poo in the sink in 2023! Who’d have thunk it?!

Our toilets are now ornaments. We put flowers in them.