Think husband left poo in the sink

[hmmcake]

I'm having real troubles with hubby, we've been together 8 years now, married for 3 and we have a beautiful 8 month daughter that we had to go through ivf for. We have a lovely home with no mortgage and get by on hubbys part time job - I would like to return to work but hubby finds it very hard looking after the baby - and we'd both like another child so he'd rather I was a stay at home Mum. So by and large we're happy, but like everybody else we have baggage, and ours is from our mothers. His worked long hours in a hospital and spent all her spare time cleaning the house and arguing with his father, mine watched TV and dumped me in a childrens home. Obviously I want better for our children and I thought he did too but he's reacting really badly to the house having to be cleaner. The other week he left a piece of his own faeces - not the babys - in the bathroom sink. He's been making things go mouldy around the house since I made a fuss about things going mouldy and now 2 weeks after the poo incident, baby and I have diarrhoea after I woke up 3 nights ago having to throw up. I love my husband very much but that person's gone now and I'm wondering if we wouldn't be safer and happier without this pathetic child that's appeared in his place. What on earth do I do to fix this???

I asked the very same at the beginning of the thread, BluddyMoFo.

I think you sound very overwhelmed and I don't think MN is the place to get help for your family. Nobody's going to want to take your dd away.

Your OP doesn't make much sense. How can he 'make' things go mouldy? Do you mean he is actively hiding things where you won't find them or something? And how in the name of all that's holy do you know it is his poo?! Did you ask him and he replied 'yes that's my poo?' If so, how odd. If not, I don't think you are particularly normal either. You sound a bit nuts to be fair.

The comment about wiping things like lightswitches makes it sound like you have some sort of mental issue. Unless you honestly think that your husband just touching something is really skanky enough to make you sick?! Just how bad is your immune system lol!

WTF? This is beyond odd.

Jade I agree that sounded but ott- I know that even slatterns like me can have attack of dettol with pfb but I didn't wipe switches .

Although if I suspected that my other half had hand-placed a poo in a sink, I would be a bit paranoid about germs too, especially with a newborn in the house. (I realise the OP has not been back to confirm how the poo got in the sink).

but I would also have it out with him and state in no uncertain terms that I expected certain hygeine practices to be observed.

Have you actually asked him if he pooed in the sink? (words I never thought I would say in the same sentence).

OP can you assume that none of us really know what you're talking about and expain it to us a bit more clearly please?

How did he do that when you poo in the toilet he must of took it from his bottom and put in their

He defo has mental health issues, please do not have another child please use somthing I would take him up to a&e today and get him seem its not normal to poo in the sink

Unless you have the shits and you don't have a toilet but I very much doubt that was the case

If the OP is saying it wasnt her who poo'd (pood??) in the sink, and it cant be baby it must be the husband. Unless it was a burgler??? I have read that burglers leave a poo in the adrenline rush of robbing a house (although, tbf, it is usually on the bed).

I'm a bit at people saying he definately has MH problems. It's not possible to diagnose that without actually interacting with him.

It could be that the OP has a mental health issue (I'm not saying she has) - but I think people should stop diagnosing until we have a little more information to go on.

seriously?? you would take this man to a&e today to get seen as he clearly has MH issues???? How have you deduced just from the sink incident that he has a mental illness? Im really confused.

Hopefully the OP will be back to clarify this all further.

This is exactly why MN is not a good place to get help, hmmcake, not for this.
Real life help would be miles better.

a&e would say go see your GP

I would be tempted to wipe clean light switches/anything I needed to touch if I thought my DH was playing with poo and not washing his hands!

A and E is for accidents or emergancies! I don't think this qualifies for either of those.

A&E is definately not a good place for diagnosis of mental health problems!

For a general ongoing condition without a major flare up that's dangerous, the most appropriate first port of call is the GP.

If someone is aggressive, violent and/or potentially dangerous to themselves or others, then the police/social services/an ambulance can be contacted with a view to a section.

Sorry to be vague, there was a little round piece of what looked like poo in the sink, obviously I thought it couldn't be and must be dirt or something, so I ran the tap but it didn't go away. I asked hubby 'what's this in the sink' and got him to come to the bathroom and he immediately looked really guilty and sheepish and said he'd been gardening, it must be a piece of dirt, so he pushed it through the drain. He just looked like he'd been caught red handed.

Things going mouldy - he puts clean laundry away while it's still damp to help haha, wet clothes folded up under the sink, and he hangs his bath towel to dry over the bedroom door but the wooden door is now mouldy because his towel is so sodden, some clothes and towels and bedding I've had to bin because it's gone mouldy

I don't usually clean light switches and sockets but since we got diarrhea thought I should to be on the safe side. it's only the baby and i who are ill, he's fine

Prunnhilda thank you, you are so right, will look into real life advice