The Brave Babes Carry On Past The Easter Booze Offers.

[NotTheMessiahJustMouseface]

Hello,

I'm Mouse, well, I am usually!

Welcome to the Brave Babes Bus.

This is a journey of sobriety, started almost a year ago by the wonderful jesuswhatnext. So why not come aboard and find a seat. There's heaps of support on here whether you are sober, drinking or somewhere in the middle.

And, for those of you who want a bit of history, here are the Previous Threads

Hi brave babes, can I quietly sneak back on the bus (I fell off a few weeks ago). I have currently made a plan not to drink for the whole of May and after that, well I'll see. I have put it down in writing and given it to DH which definitely helps (even though he drinks every night but that's another story). I was looking back at my posts from my last attempt to stop and it was all a bit "poor me" and I felt like I was putting a bit of a downer on the bus. I'm trying really hard to turn round how I see things this time and rather than thinking how terrible it is that I can't drink tonight, thinking about how I'll be able to finish my book tonight and maybe start a new one (reading is my big thing) and how great it'll be to wake up hangover and guilt free. I feel so brilliant after not drinking for the last few days, it makes me realise how fogged up my life was when I was drinking. I've taken 3 Antabuse this morning which means that I basically can't drink for the next 3 days (unless I want to be violently ill) so that gets me through the danger zone of Friday and Saturday evening. It does kind of feel like cheating in a way but I still have to make the decision to take the pills and it's bloody hard to resist the temptation of DH's ever present bottle of vodka in the cupboard. Have to go as I'm at work but will be back later. Stay strong!

Hello drinkofwater (fab new name) and upsylazy,

Reading is my "thing" too, and what a joy it is to remember the pages from the night before!

Can I just ask, I know I posted really late last night, but has anyone any thoughts about Dc's dinner party? I really don't know whether to wave bye, and hope for the best (laid back mum), or to ring and check, during the evening to see how things are going (a la my mum!). I thought I would give my neighbour my mob no, just in case, or is that going to far?

I know I'm probably worrying too much, but, it is the first time I've left either of them with a houseful of friends, overnight.

Any thoughts gratefully recieved
xx

received!!!!, and I've only just given that lesson

Thurso, if it was me I would stay put, I know you feel you can trust them but think it would be wiser for you to be at home. (am speaking from experience)

Thurso, do you have neighbours who can keep an eye/ear open for you and call you if there's any problems so you can come back if necessary?

Afternoon ladies

Hello more new people! It's great here.

TheFirst good luck tonight, stay focussed and drink lots of fluids (not wine ).

I'm not going to a meeting today, I have absolutely no desire to drink anyway so there doesn't seem much point.

AA people - last night I was sat just before a meeting started and young woman (mid twenties at a guess - not that it's particularly relevant) bounced into the room, plonked herself in the seat next to me and immediately got her phone out and wanted my number. Now, I understand that having lots of numbers to call if you need to is part of the ethos, but I really felt that me and this woman would have nothing in common (apart from the alcoholism ). She was soooo manic. I gave it to her because I couldn't think of a way out of it - she immediately called my phone so I had her number too. It felt like a bit of an invasion of privacy tbh, but I feel guilty that it's entirely likely that if she ever does call that I will reject the call. Is that awful beyond words? I've even stored her name as DoNotAnswer

I'm a terrible person.

Looks like I am on the losing side of this debate re house party .
Thurso, why not post it under either Chat or Am I being unreasonable and see what the general consensus is? After all we are a bunch of alkies and have been to our fair share of parties so we might be a bit biased (although to be fair I am actually speaking as a parent of young adults)

Golly, you are not a terrible person, would do the same myself!

Hi Obrigada, don't you think at 18 they should be trusted to some extent though? I have a 14yr old and there's no way on earth I'd let her have an unsupervised party. In fact she didn't come away with us at easter but stayed with friends locally, I took her keys off her so she didn't have access to the house! but at 18 these kids could easily be living away from home and doing as they please anyway.

Thanks for telling me I'm not an awful person I considered deleting her number straight away but then I wouldn't have known it was her if she rang I know it's ok not to like everyone you meet in AA but I felt like I was being obstructive in her recovery or something Daft, I know.

You are right Golly, it is an issue of trust, and yes if they live away they could have parties every night, however this party will be held in Thurso's home, and I am sure I am right in thinking they won't be drinking tea all evening .

thurso - simples. Lay down the ground rules with the understanding that no more than 12 people, those on the original guest list, are allowed in the house.

Tell the DC that you have informed the nearest neighbours of what is happening and that said neighbours have contact details for you and DH.

Tell them that if any damage is caused, the parent's of the culprit will be involved and if you find out the DC are covering up the truth, they will be punished.

Tell them that the local police are aware too and have the power to arrest should they need to and all naughty teens will be locked up, indefinately!

Or, ignore the rest and tell them you love them very much, you want them to have a fab night, that you are trusting them to prove to you that they are responsible adults, which is how they wish you to treat them, and that this is an important turing point in their lives.

Tell them that you want to the parents that they'd like you to be, but in exchange for that to happen, they have to respect your/their home. Have a blast, but be careful and safe.

Hope that helps!

Tall - loving the new name. Great to see you back.

thurso - we went away on holiday when dd was 16 - all was fine!, house was a bit of a mess, ie, not how I do it, but no biggy!, you know your kids and tbh, from how you have talked about them on here, i would reckon they will be fine!

kids are just like the rest of us, some you can trust and others you couldnt leave in an empty room!

golly - i keep my phone in my bag, turned off, so that if im asked and feel uncomfortable about it, i can just say that i have not got it with me and cant remember my number! - fwiw, imo, i think is ok to be a bit wary of who you give your number to, after all, in a purely selfish way, your own soberity is the most important thing here and sad as it may be, we are not all in the right place to help all of the people all of the time iyswim?

oooooohhhhh off to belly dancing class now with dd! see you all later!

Hi Babes, old and new. I hope you don't mind but I had one of those moments today, when a piece of the puzzle slips into place (the puzzle being why I drank too much,too often) Somebody asked me "Don't you ever feel envious of your drinking friends or feel left out?" My answer was that I don't envy my friends that drink too much anymore, because I,ve been there done that and got the battle scars. Also I wouldn't trade this this new calm hangover free life for the world. I also don't envy my friends who are normal/moderate drinkers either, because even now I can't see any pleasure in moderate drinking??? My brain just does not get it, it would always feel like torture and deprivation to me. How weird is that after all these months. Just goes to show the power of the drug I guess. Thanks Babes it really helps me to share these ramblings. As you were

Hi you lovely wonderful people - today is a good day for me - hopefully the first day in a life not blighted by hitting the bottle. I realise i am at the start of a very bumpy path but today I'm positive and I'm not drinking.

Most days at this time of day my mind would be firmly fixated on the bottle of White languishing in the fridge - today I wanted and had a hot bath.

Had lovely, if cold and wet, day with a lovely friend and our dc and was so cold on return that the hot bath was necessary.

Ma - the couch to 5k sounds good - downloaded the app to my phone - i can't run the length of myself (and I'm such a short arse) but going for the brisk walk/short run might just help to switch off the 'wine o'clock alarm which has chimed in my head for sooooo long.

Thanks to everyone who has posted in support of me and others.

Off to dust off trainers and nip up to vote.

hey Ma I was soooo bored with myself that I haven't posted for weeks, but in the meantime have made it to 7 months. Had a couple of wobbles, don't know if that will ever go away, but soooo prefer my new sober self.
Thurso IME 18 year olds are quite tame compared with 16s, so I say go for it. You will probably find that a couple of the girls will be clearing up when you get home! But I would make it clear that whilst you trust them, you would prefer to know if there is a problem, and they can call you if they want you to come home and sort out a problem.

I'm sooo with you on don't/can't do moderate drinking. Isindie well done on climbing back on board again, it seems to me that you have a lot more control and self knowledge these days. Give the Twins a squeeze from me
X

Hey all, I've just read the current page (will catch up tomorrow on all the recent posts) and want to say isindie nope I never did moderation either - when I drank at Christmas time it was because I'd had 'one' glass of something fizzy to keep everyone company. It was fine. I managed it OK. I didn't feel like I wanted any more. I had a cup of tea and I went to bed. Next day - differnet matter. I had 'one'....... and I doubt that I need to fill anyone in on what happened after that.

Oh and thurso it is probably better for your peace of mind that i don't tell you what happened at my dd2's party.......

aw Venus you have to tell us now, no good just dropping hints like that!

Ouch.

Bed.

Toothache or rather lack of a tooth ache.

Buggeration.

I hate pain.

Night all, be Brave xxxxx

greetings boring ones Indieput the knife down and back away slowly. You know I love you!!
BwaanB - great to hear from you and bloody well done.
Thurso Lay down the ground rules for the party and make sure they know the consequences. Phone once during the evenign to check. Make sure you know all the kids coming and that their parents know the party is unsupervised.Tell the DCs this is based on trust and that you will be disappointed, not angry, if they let you down.
mrs Rochester - if this is day 1, then you are one day ahead of me.
DH has decided that I might be hormonal. apparently that's what the problem is.
I give up!!

Lights out time.
Big difference to the usual passing out.
See you in the morning xxx