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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

If you were WRONGLY accused of having and affair with someone by the person you were accused of having an affair with

104 replies

HauntedLittleLunatic · 02/04/2011 14:44

Which would you be most likely to do?

a) Maintain as much distance with the person as possible
b) let him "hide" his (or her) car around the corner and continue to meet them on a regular basis

OP posts:
kittya · 03/04/2011 12:52

I really dont think you should say anything. You have no concrete proof do you? Leave them to it. Horrible people.

thumbwitch · 03/04/2011 13:04

OK. I think I have my head around this now I have decided to ignore all but your last few posts - the title and the OP and the following ABCDE stuff was all bonkers!

But what it boils down to is this: your ex had an affair with OW, she maintains he didn't, you kicked him into touch because of it, she lied to her DH and they are still together. But he is your friend and you want him to know because if the boot were on the other foot you'd want to be told.

He may not want to know. He may know, deep down - the fact that you booted your ex out over this apparent "non-affair" might have been a big enough clue, don't you think? He may have either chosen to bury his head in teh sand and carry on with the fantasy, because it's easier than dealing with the reality of the situation; or he may have decided to give her another go.

However - if this "non-affair" is still going on and he doesn't know about it, he probably should - it's better to play the game with a full hand of cards - but if YOU tell him about it, you may lose him as a friend. Is that a risk you're prepared to take? Messengers frequently get shot (I've been there) and you have to know that it is a likely outcome.

Is there anyone else who could let him know or do you feel it has to be you? Because I suspect that if you feel it has to be you, then you are a wee bit guilty of a spot of score-settling, disguised as do-gooding. Understandable - but you need to take a step back and work out exactly who you are wanting to do this for.

MigratingCoconuts · 03/04/2011 15:19

Tell him. If he chooses to not believe you and sees you as just getting revenge, then thats his problem but he can't ever say you didn't tell him.

Then forget the lot of them...Smile

iwantadogbutarabbitwoulddo · 03/04/2011 15:29

I think you should just go and shag shag D

Grin
MigratingCoconuts · 03/04/2011 15:32

as long as D isn't with E....

iwantadogbutarabbitwoulddo · 03/04/2011 15:42

E, i feel, is not as lovely as B, and D is only shagging E because D knows that C is cheating. Once D realises its alphabetical soulmate is B, then this mess will all be sorted out.

(sorry i couldn't resist, i don't mean to trivialise the situation)

MigratingCoconuts · 03/04/2011 15:47
Grin
ChaoticAngelofDenial · 03/04/2011 15:49

I'm waiting for the introduction of F Grin

bronze · 03/04/2011 15:52

F comes along 9 months later

EIther I have drunk too much pimms or this is really difficult to understand

MigratingCoconuts · 03/04/2011 15:54

oh, I was hoping for twins....

Hullygully · 03/04/2011 16:06

Is the answer X=52?

BecauseImWorthIt · 03/04/2011 16:13

F is the one who lives in the house with the brown door and G speaks Danish.

thumbwitch · 03/04/2011 16:14

What about H? who may or may not be pronounced Haitch, depending on regional variations?

iwantadogbutarabbitwoulddo · 03/04/2011 16:16

Are you sure that G doesn't MAKE danish?

iwantadogbutarabbitwoulddo · 03/04/2011 16:21

Ok but look, K is mine and I am P. Just before this gets ridiculous, I want you to all understand that im territorial and scary and no-one is shagging K.

Gottit?

Good.

IngridBergmann · 03/04/2011 16:21

Danish? Oh God.

dementedma · 03/04/2011 16:31

oh God, Iwantadog....so you don't know about K & J then????

seachange · 03/04/2011 16:37

Grin Grin

Haven't laughed so much at a thread in ages. You guys!

seachange · 03/04/2011 16:38

PS sorry OP to trivialise your conundrum, hope you find a resolution soon. Thanks for the laughs :)

iwantadogbutarabbitwoulddo · 03/04/2011 16:41

fine, i believe you demented

but im putting all the blame on YOU because you are the messenger and i never want to see you again.

I will now go and rant about J, forgive K just this once because he didn't mean to shag J really and it was J's fault for coming onto K and not leaving K alone.

Will now send a sexy text to G to get revenge on K as G makes good danish/ speaks Danish in a sexy way.

Then i will phone jeremy kyle so i can go on TV, make lots of money and promote G's pastry business.

iwantadogbutarabbitwoulddo · 03/04/2011 16:42

Yes sorry haunted Blush

HauntedLittleLunatic · 03/04/2011 16:42

That's fine. I need something to put a smile on my face....as you miight imagine there isn't much making me smile ATM :)

I know it started very badly. I have learnt my lesson for next time :)

OP posts:
MigratingCoconuts · 03/04/2011 18:11

Its X I ultimately feel sorry for....

HauntedLittleLunatic · 03/04/2011 18:45

What X as in XP or X as in person X cos they are right near the end of the alphabet and clearly not first dibs Grin?

OP posts:
MigratingCoconuts · 03/04/2011 18:51

yes! exactly! who the hell will X be able to shag??? That's just sad...

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