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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

If you were WRONGLY accused of having and affair with someone by the person you were accused of having an affair with

104 replies

HauntedLittleLunatic · 02/04/2011 14:44

Which would you be most likely to do?

a) Maintain as much distance with the person as possible
b) let him "hide" his (or her) car around the corner and continue to meet them on a regular basis

OP posts:

Report

seachange · 08/04/2011 23:34

Sorry it worked out like that HLL, what a bunch of twats. You're well out of it :(

HauntedLittleLunatic · 08/04/2011 16:17

yup....cos now it is the gossip of the village I guess he is trying to save face...

OP posts:

kittya · 08/04/2011 14:47

blaming her for exposing it, more like.

ljgibbs · 08/04/2011 13:40

Hmm, my interpretation of OWDH coming to have "have words" is that in some way he blames you for the affair and maybe, just maybe OW is trying to protect you from his anger.

2rebecca · 08/04/2011 11:00

I agree that the OW's husband probably knows and is choosing to stay with his wife for whatever reason. Maybe he's afraid of losing access to the kids (not unreasonable for a bloke), maybe he's having a secret affair of his own and feels his wife can't blame him if he's into the same thing. Maybe he's playing a long game and reckons with A's track record he'll soon get bored of his wife and move on.
None of this is your business. Some people choose to hold the social structure of their marriage together despite affairs.

kittya · 08/04/2011 10:48

He knows everything by the sounds of it and is now making you look like a nutter by forwarding yr message to your ex? He's as bad as them two

HauntedLittleLunatic · 07/04/2011 23:39

I am staying out of it.....I was joking but just thought it was an interesting concept that OW is rying to keep OWDH from talking to me but all I have to do is push harder then he will apparently come and "have words".

OP posts:

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 07/04/2011 23:30

Honestly, stay out of it. It's not your problem any more. If you carry on sticking your beak in, you are going to have everyone forgettting about who's bonking who as they will all be too busy discussing what a bad loser/mad stalkerish bitch you are. Because it's impossible that you are not partly motivated by the wish to see your XP in trouble, no one is going to buy the idea that you are stirring the pot out of pure intentions.

HauntedLittleLunatic · 07/04/2011 23:26

He did threaten to "have words with me" if I didn't let it drop...maybe I should push it further and see if his wife would allow him to come near my doorstep given how worried she appears to be about him getting hold of the "evidence"

OP posts:

thumbwitch · 07/04/2011 23:13

Ah well. You've discharged your conscience - it's up to him to ignore or use the info, he's chosen to be petty and send it on to your XP so I'd say he's not much a of a friend to you now anyway.

Sad but let it go - he is now the architect of his own misery (along with his W of course).

boxingHelena · 07/04/2011 23:09

oops sorry, it wasnt you
another set of A,B,Cs than
what a wanker to show you up on your ex
they sound like they deserve each other

HauntedLittleLunatic · 07/04/2011 22:37

That is what I am saying boxing...but I think the second part of your post refers to someone else....although I could almost have written it.

OP posts:

boxingHelena · 07/04/2011 22:17

OP are you saying that you texted OWDH and he forwarded your message to your XH ???

I think I remember when you first posted about this, at the beginning of it all, OWDH was drinking himself silly and hiding his head under the sand while XH and OW were meeting up just to talk about how awful everybody was bad mouthing them and how unfair it all was? So nothing knew there

Well done to you for having come out of it

suburbophobe · 07/04/2011 21:14

If you were --- accused of having and affair with someone by the person you were accused of having an affair with

This doesn't make sense to me!

HauntedLittleLunatic · 07/04/2011 21:09

Did text. Text got forwarded to XP. OWDH not interested. Not totally surprised, and that's fine.

I feel less in limbo cos I am not responsible for maintaining the lie and will hopefully start to move on.

OP posts:

HauntedLittleLunatic · 05/04/2011 19:03

I was going to text today...but had second thoughts....tomororw maybe...

OP posts:

kittya · 05/04/2011 18:36

What happened in the end?

Magicjamas · 04/04/2011 16:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HauntedLittleLunatic · 04/04/2011 14:41

I have a very revealing valentines card I could also deliver.....for free....

OP posts:

kittya · 04/04/2011 12:58

you could always go and knock on their front door....

HauntedLittleLunatic · 03/04/2011 20:37

Yup all 4 of us live on same street.

I have spoken to him about this before XP confessed to me, but at that time the story I gave was that "I think" something is going on...because that is all I had at the time. He took it well, was a bit shocked, but took it a lot better than I expected. He has since been convinced by his wife that it is all in XPs head. So he is at least aware of they fact there might have been something going on IYSWIM. Quite possible he ignored the initial discussion I had with him for the benefit of his marriage, expecting that anything that may have been going on has stopped because it has all been made public as a result of XP and I breaking up.

I think it is very likely that he has no idea they have already picked up where they have left off. But seeing as I haven't been able to speak to him I have no idea what he is thinking or not.

OP posts:

kittya · 03/04/2011 20:30

Its a shame you cant proove its still going on. Do they live down your street or something, is that how you see his car? cheeky sods.

Its a shame you cant arrange for her DH to go home unexpectedly!! thats if you are convinced he would really want to know. He might suspect but is ignoring it, is that possible?

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HauntedLittleLunatic · 03/04/2011 20:22

Erm....yeah...XP confessed. I have physical evidence and I have seen his car hidden around the corner.

i am not 100% sure there is anything still happening, but I am 100% sure they are still meeting in secret which if I was OWDH I would want to know about.

OP posts:

kittya · 03/04/2011 20:20

are you 100% sure though?

MigratingCoconuts · 03/04/2011 19:44

exactly!

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