The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Giving Up Booze For Lent.

[Mouseface]

Hello.

I'm Mouse.

We are a Bus load of posters with various relationships with the demon booze. Some are sober, some are not and some are inbetween.

So come say hi and meet the rest of The Babes, there's always plenty of room on the Bus, the doors are ALWAYS open.

No judgy pants are worn on this journey, pants yes and even the odd Tena Lady but always of the non judging variety.

Previous Threads

see!, i knew you was a posh geezer!

OOooooohh - a bit of posh totty on the Bus, at last!

Hello Brave Babes.

I have no words of wisdom to add to those already posted for the Brave Babes in need over the weekend, hello to Rose and welcome back Qo.

Just wanted to pop in and say I hate Monday's. No shower, as it's fucked (technical term) again, DD has brought home some sort of mini infestation from her sleep over so I'm having to strip her room and clean the house from top to bottom.

Nemo had a terrible night and has decided sleep is for the weak and DH has to go out to a client meeting shortly but is having 'one of those days' at work.

It really is a Monday.

Morning everyone

Back from Dublin and had a brilliant time. Trying to catch up on posts at the mo.

just checking in to say hi
ThornRose are you ok?
Today I will not be drinking. Or frinking.

Hi all. Hope its OK for me to join your fab thread. I stopped drinking yesterday. I've been drinking about 1 and a half bottles of wine every evening for longer than I can remember (years). I had a rubbish night's sleep last night as my body is so used to passing out rather than falling asleep but I still feel better today having not had a drink yesterday. I am just fed up with feeling sluggish, worrying about my health and getting an ever-expanding wine-belly. Hopefully this thread will help and I'm going to an AA meeting tomorrow. You all seem so lovely.

Hi Hammy welcome

Afternoon

Hope everyone has had a good start to the week (Mouse - it will get better I hope).

Hello Hammy - this is a great support - welcome aboard. Stick with it, the sleep bit gets better and the clear headedness is a joy really. There will be lots of advice and support if you get the urge to drink. For now, why not get set up with some non alcoholic drinks that you like/want to try, and be ready to treat yourself to a glass of something when you would have opened a bottle. My fav at present is sparkling Pomegranite and Elderflower - not too sweet.

Hi hammy well done you for not having a drink yesterday. I think some of us find that the first couple of days can be a bit rubbish, as as JWIM says, treat yourself to some nice non-alcoholic drinks, spoil yourself with chocolate, and plan something nice for yourself for the evening if you can - a nice bath with bubbles, or a good book and an early night.

If there is a particular time of day when you would normally have your first drink, it is a good idea to plan an activity or diversion around that time, to strate breaking the association between for example cooking the tea and having a glass of something. I found it really helped to come on here at those times - people really do understand how you're feeling.

MIFLAW I love doug stanhope, have you seen no refunds? I think it's his best stand up

Hi Hammy will it be your first AA meeting? best of luck - do you have someone to go with?

As for your rubbish night's sleep - I didn't think i came under the category of physical addiction (didn't drink every day, but when I did, boy did I, and regularly!). Anyway, despite not being a daily drinker I had a week of nightmares and night sweats. I was a bit shaky during the day on about day three sober - and my usual drinking pattern was on a three day cycle so that makes sense, so those are the things you might expect to happen physically.

Urgh, teenagers. I have one of those and another coming up to it. The 14yr old has turned my hair grey in the last few months with her off the wall behaviour, which is luckily seeming to calm down a bit now with a school change and CAMHS support (and me being sober ).

I'm struggling to find a local AA member with teens that I've clicked with, and I think it might be a good idea for my sponsor to fully understand the difficulties that teens can bring into your life. So, I still don't have a sponsor and I still don't have a home group but I'm still going to meetings - sometimes getting loads out of them and sometimes walking away feeling a bit meh.

Thank you for your kind messages. I love the poem Isindebetterplace. Really touching. 5pm is my 'witching hour' and I am planning on going out for a run-not taking any money with me so I can't go to the off-license. It's an odd thing addiction isn't it? I'm having to protect myself from myself!

GollyHolightly. It's not my first AA meeting. I've been to a couple over the years and found them so comforting-to actually meet people that really understand the addiction. I'll be going by myself and am fine with that. I don't seem to have any physical symptoms during the day which is odd considering how much booze I can get through. I kept getting cold sweats during the night though and had mad dreams on the times I did actually fall asleep. It is still better than waking up feeling dreadful and guilty having drank. Your stories on here are really inspiring.

Glad you're feeling comfortable about going to a meeting

I really really don't miss the waking with pounding heart/head, guilt and paranoia I'm starting to have some moments of clarity now about how I'm not actually missing anything at all. The good drunk feeling never lasted long before I hit the angry/upset/depressed stage anyway That's not say that I'm not having moments when I could easily give in and go to the offie - but now I go online to see where the meeting is that evening and aim for that instead.

Golly

Remember you are in no way obliged to have a sponsor.

You might find a home group useful, but it's not as grand as it sounds - it's just your favourite meeting that you try to get to regularly.

hello hammy! - i know what you mean about passing out instead of falling asleep - i feel so much better for finally having proper sleep!, i did dream for a few weeks and was very tired for about 3 weeks, then everything started falling into place!

golly, i still dont have a sponsor, it really dosnet worry me, it took me years to become a drunk so i figure that i can afford to take soberity fairly slowly!, i have got to step 1, in that i have admitted that im powerless over alcohol and my life was unmanagable - even 10 months on thats quite enough for atm!

Hi Mif

I know I'm not obliged to have a sponsor, not obliged to do anything at all in fact but... I've been told by a few people that my best chance of making this work is to get myself a sponsor and start working the steps - and I think it's probably a good idea. At the moment I have several numbers in my phone and they've all said to call at any time but I'm reticent because I often don't want to intrude in their lives and they certainly have no commitment to me. I have called a couple of times, and texted more than that. If I had a sponsor I think I would feel more comfortable about calling when I felt it were necessary, and I'd also know what that person's work patterns were like and therefore when they'd be likely to free to chat.

Btw, saw another AA bashing comment on a thread yesterday, called it a pseudo religious cult. What is it with people bashing AA? I wonder if they are people for whom it didn't work, or people who've never been near a meeting in their lives??

JWN

Do you think I'm rushing things?? I want to get rid of the knot in my stomach and have peace of mind - I kinda thought the steps/sponsor might help with that?

By the way, was it you that started the first thread about ruining your family? I read that initial thread with awe at your experience, I didn't at that time think that I could ever do anything about my own problem.

Golly

As long as you don't feel you are being rushed, that's fine. I was advised (outside London) to take it slowly and that a step a year was good going.

Also, until you are fairly convinced that you can get through today without a drink then even Step 1 is probably going to leave some question marks hanging in your mind, so do make sure you are at that point.

It IS a good idea to have one or two people you feel particularly comfortable speaking to because clearly you will have many questions; but don't feel that that person has to be anything as formal as a sponsor. Equally, you may find that person and then decide, for all sorts of reasons, that you need someone else alongside them to do the sponsoring side of things. It's really up to you.

A step a year?! blimey. I've talked to a couple of people who have been in AA for around a year who said they were up to steps eight and nine!

Right. Take a breath and slow down then is your message?

I am getting through each day without a drink. For today, anyway. I fell off the wagon one night last week but it really only served to stiffen my resolve. I thought by admitting I had a problem that I'd already done step one The 'god' stuff is going to be trickier for me because I'm struggling to see how that's going to work for a dyed in the wool atheist like me, but I keep being reassured that atheists have their own versions and not to be put off. Funnily enough, my MIL lent me the richard dawkins book yesterday which I've wanted to read for ages, and now I'm thinking it might not be the right time to get into that!

I'm not in London, btw, but I am in a city big enough to have a good selection of meetings every day (bristol).

I've arranged to meet up with a woman next week for a coffee. She's been very supportive so far and she's the person I've been in touch with most outside of meetings. I was considering asking her to be my sponsor but her daughter is only 6yrs old so she wouldn't necessarily understand the teen problems, so I'm going to try and get to know her a bit better before I asked her for any kind of commitment.

yes golly, it was me - i think you need to take YOUR sobriety at the speed that suits YOU!, horses for courses and all that!, personally, im pretty lazy and dont think too far ahead (mif would probs describe me as a bit of an air-head! ) - the thing is, im sober!, thats all that counts so far as im concerned! - alot of the other 11 steps can be something that a person can put into practice just through everyday life, ie. the longer im sober, the more im 'making amends' towards my family, im much happier to 'promptly admit when im wrong' simply because im not fighting drunk and ready for a row - i kind of look at the 12 steps as a guide to decent living, just trying to think about other peoples needs, not being so selfish etc.

as to 'aa bashing' i just dont get it! - i have my own quiet faith, i dont need a church or rituals to believe in MY higher power, i dont even have to give MY higher power a name!

ive also said this before - i have been in aa for 10 months, in that time i have NEVER been asked for

my surname
my address
my date of birth
my bank details

i fail to see how anyone can run a cult without any of the above, apart from anything else, how would you keep a list of 'members'?

Ha! yeah, if it were a cult it's not a very profitable one

I'm trying to think of other cultish tends, like not letting you go if you want to, or making you believe weird theories that are somewhat lunatic. Neither of which apply to AA in my (limited) experience. The only thing that is cult-like is the how bloody friendly people are!

tbh, i have met a couple of right odd-balls, a religious nut and a guy who felt the need to tell me that sex was not the answer to my problems! - i have met a couple of women who i think will be friends for life, like most groups, we will end-up with the people we have most in common with and whose company we enjoy!

tonight is our ladies meeting which i really enjoy, we are a pretty mixed bunch, some with older dcs, some with babies, some with no dcs etc - our common goal is the same though and i like the sense of camaraderie - i do find that the depth of conversation is much deeper than in a mixed meeting, i think we feel freer to be totally truthful, it certainly helps me, i have loads to think about afterwards and it kind of sets me up for the week!

Welcome Hammy - the run sounds like a great idea, especially sans cash!

One of my down falls was having cash on me everytime I said that I wasn't going to buy any booze. You sould like you really want to do this Hammy. Go for it!

Golly - did you not know that this Bus is a cult? Can you PM me your personal details please?

Quiet frankly I don't believe in God. I believe in fate, and destiny, and karma. Thank Jeff, or what the Jeff, or sweet Jeff. I'm trying to stop using God or Lord, seeing as though I'm not convinced 'He' exists, or even doesn't.

Not sure where I'm going with this so I'll shut up.

IsinDe - my sweet, how are you feeling today? Glad to see you around.

Golly

I'm also an atheist. If anything, my atheism has got stronger as a result of being in AA - before, I was always trying to hedge my bets, just in case I was being watched from above ... I have no problem with the HP concept. For a start, for many years I had a very powerful HP called alcohol. Now, my HP is the group (for practical matters) and my own unconscious, because it's not "me" (I can't trick it with my thoughts) but it does control me and ultimately wants the best for me. I'm sure Bill W would be turning in his grave but, at the same time, I haven't found anything in any of the literature that says I can't have that as an HP, so there you go.

There's no right way to do the steps; originally there were only 6 of them and people would essentially do them in a matter of weeks. So don't let anyone tell you that there is a right way to do them, or a right speed to do them,or even that you have to do them at all. I think a lot of people in AA used to be in the Scouts and Guides and still think they're going to get a badge to sew on their uniforms if they do the Steps quick enough!