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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

he woke our child up shouting, just to get at me, don't know what to do

154 replies

mumtotwoboys · 19/03/2011 09:41

yesterday, he promised he would put his dog back in his bed downstairs, as his dog has been sleeping in our bed (!!!) which he knows I really dislike, he wakes me up with his scratching and such.
So I was like phew finally I'll get a good night's sleep with the dog back downstairs.
It gets to bed time, he starts saying he doesn't know what I'm talking aboiut and of course the dogs coming it. I managed to get the bedroom door key and locked it from the inside, leaving him and the dog outside, (and me and our baby inside, whom I have next to me because I breastfeed).
He starts banging on the door, I said I'll let him in if he promises to take his dog downstairs, but he won't. He pretends he has no recollection of him agreeing to earlier in the day.
So he starts kicking the door in and shouting that I'm being 'a psycho' because I'm not letting him go to bed.
Then hesaid well he's going to sleep in my 4 yo son's room, so he went into his bedroom and shouted 'come on get up' and kept clapping and said 'you have to sleep on the landing, because mummy wont let me in my bed'.
My son (who's got special needs as it is, with his emotional, language, behavioural development) wakes up crying and crying saying 'i'm sorry, i'm sorry mummy'.
Then my partner says 'see look what you did' to me.
I was in shock for a minute then got up and found my partner comforting our 4 year old and stroking his head back to sleep.
But I was so angry at DP when he came out I grabbed his hair and twisted it and said that he's a sick fuck for doing that to my son, and he's lucky that's all I did, I wanted to hurt him a lot more for upsetting my son.
I said I'm leaving you tomorrow.
Tomorrow is here and he just got up and asked me to watch the kids while he showers, which I'm doing of course, then he goes 'what's up?'
I said nothing, he goes 'fine fuck ya then'.
Can't take another day of this. :(

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 19/03/2011 22:24

Glad to see you and dc are safe for now x

Alambil · 19/03/2011 22:25

how old is the dog? The RSPCA foster dogs over 6m for people leaving abuse and you can take the pet back once you're settled in a permanent home :)

mumtotwoboys · 19/03/2011 22:32

thank you so much.
Your last few messages made me feel really good.

I felt like such a fricken idiot before for getting myself back into that situation again. I even chose 'the nice guy' who I wasn't necessarily crazy about but I really thought he was good for my kids and kind and everything else.
Wrong.
Never again will I get involved so fast.
I'm looking ahead now, to having my own house again and being a strong woman!

I'm gonna use those links thank you x

OP posts:
mumtotwoboys · 19/03/2011 22:33

my pup is just 10 weeks old :/

OP posts:
OnlyWantsOne · 19/03/2011 22:34

I'm an hour from peterborough if you need some one

I'm serious

Ive been there - you should tell the police so it's on record xx

Springblumen · 19/03/2011 22:38

I have PM'd Valhalla for you OP. Hope you don't mind x

PeterAndreForPM · 19/03/2011 22:38

Could I just ask you one thing, mumoftwoboys ?

Could you refrain from calling Social Services "babysnatchers" please

it's a hideous stereotype, completely untrue and does a lot of harm if it prevents people from seeking help when they really need it

thankin' you

ScarlettWalking · 19/03/2011 22:41

Are you not going to report what happened with your ex p and your son?

Springblumen · 19/03/2011 22:41

What kind of puppy is it OP ?

Fluffycloudland77 · 19/03/2011 22:54

Well done you did it. I think abusers can spot the abused iyswim.

Least DC can sleep tonight in peace. X

Vicky2011 · 19/03/2011 23:00

You really really must report this mumof2boys. I've had a less than perfect experience with the police in a DV sitch so I am not blind to your concerns but this is way to serious to leave to chance. Now that you have got your children away from that "man" no-one is going to take them away from you, but the authorities MUST know how mad he is.

OnlyWantsOne · 20/03/2011 10:18

Everything ok?

mumtotwoboys · 20/03/2011 10:26

I'm gonna be fine without the police involved, trust me.

Our pup is a gorgeous little blue eyed siberian husky, looks like he's too young to go in the kennel.
Dunno what i'll do yet.. most of the people i have to help me out hate dogs!
I was thinking of sneaking him into a hostel :/

OP posts:
soblackandwhite · 20/03/2011 10:34

Hi ..glad you are safe.
Part of the reason to advise calling the police is to report the fact he had a gun[what was it btw, an air rifle,shotgun ?)and was threatening to use it.
He should be reported.

AnotherMumOnHere · 20/03/2011 10:46

The 15th Anniversary of the Dunblane disaster was last week (13th March) perhaps if someone had reported that guy for something similar the situation may not have happened and those parents wouldnt have been mourning their children.

This potentially could be a similar situation - no one knows - OP if this had been one of your children how would you feel.

My words may sound very melodramatic but so are some peoples lives. There have been so many of these 'gun situations' since Dunblane.

This man needs to be reported .... especially when he has such an erratic behavioural pattern. You just dont know what he will do when he is no longer in control of everyone/everything around him.

GypsyMoth · 20/03/2011 10:50

No don't sneak him in, you could lose the hostel place if caught!

Which area are you looking to move to?

If you are going on homeless register, here in Bedford/Milton Keynes area re-housing is quick! 40 mins from Peterborough. Lincs I remember was a long wait for housing, I wanted that area as parents are there. Lots of new housing here so quick turnover!

Just a thought! Good luck

WhatsWrongWithYou · 20/03/2011 11:00

I have lurked on this thread and been concerned for you and your DCs - now you all seem to be safe, which is a huge relief. But this animal with a gun is on the loose. We are members of society, and I would like to think that another mother would try to get someone like this off the streets.

You have the right to live a peaceful, long life, but you also have a responsibility to your fellow citizens to do what you can to keep them safe.
You know this man is dangerous and you must not talk yourself into thinking it's in any way acceptable not to report him.

And, as others have said, there is an MN poster who frequently puts herself out to help dogs who need a home. I suggest you pm Valhalla - I'm sure she would have something helpful to tell you.

StewieGriffinsMom · 20/03/2011 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GypsyMoth · 20/03/2011 11:05

Assume he has correct licence for his firearm? If it's for his work and licence is correct what would op be reporting for? He's a farmer. They have guns

Did he threaten any person with the gun?

StewieGriffinsMom · 20/03/2011 11:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mumtotwoboys · 20/03/2011 11:14

Okay I'll report the gun, thanks

OP posts:
OnlyWantsOne · 20/03/2011 11:15

I agree you should report him to the police.

PeterAndreForPM · 20/03/2011 11:20

ffs, don't try to sneak the dog in anywhere

stupid idea..you will be evicted then where will you go ?

back to the abuser ?

TysonNobdie86 · 20/03/2011 11:20

I wish I could help regarding the pup, but am awaiting being put in council temp housing.
Who did you buy him from? Would they look after him for a small fee till you have your own place?

chipmonkey · 20/03/2011 11:26

ILOVETiffany, I know someone who had a gun license. That gun license was taken away when he threatened someone with the gun.. I am in Ireland but am fairly sure gun licenses are not permanent in the UK either?

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