Smacking - how your parents did it?

[notalreadyinuse]

• [Message from MNHQ - please note, this thread was started in 2011]

I assume that most people who were young children in the 70s were smacked by their parents, but a thread today reminded me about something that has been bothering me.

My dad always pulled my pants down to smack me - until about the age of 8 I think when I think the smacking mostly stopped.

I wondered if this was "normal" then?

Namechanged for this one...

My parents never hit me.

A nasty bitch au pair did. And I was born late 80s.

I would never, ever, ever, ever hit my children EVER

I won't smack/hit/slap my children either. I once had an awkward conversation with my dad and my brothers FIL, they were talking about smacking and how sometimes it's the only way to discipline a child - just made me so , horrible memories.

Born in '81, disciplined with the slipper and wooden spoon. Not very often (at least I don't remember it), and never severely (mum did it over our dressing gowns!). I don't think it bothered me then and it doesn't now, but I do work hard to try and use other methods of discipline with my children. I don't think a smack is necessarily child abuse, but I have a very hot temper and am strict with myself about no physical punishment so I don't get carried away. I can be a bit too rough with putting them on the naughty step!

I was born in 67, mum smacked all of us apart from the youngest, her late baby. Think she has finally learned some better parenting by then.

Smacked on the bum with pants down, back of legs, hit on the head with hairbrush (fucking heavy Mason Pearson job). At least she did it in heat of the moment, I struggle with the 'wait till your father gets home' cold smack. Dad could hurt us, lascerate us with a look, and by ignoring us.

I forgive them, they are a product of their time, and their own parenting.

Neibours belted their kids. Awful.

Another thing i find odd is that, when I was threatened with the belt at school, the only time, i refused and parents commended my decision and wrote the letter to school to back me up. Double standards galore.

I was born before 70s and we were never smacked.

Grew up in the 70's.

I remember being smacked a few times, but only vaguely. I know it was deserved and I had been warned plenty beforehand but chosen to ignore.

I dont remember my dad ever smacking me, but I am sure he probably did once or twice. Was only on the back of my legs or backside (over clothes).

I do rememember my mum slapping me across the face twice. Once I was about 3, and was having a proper foot stamping screaming tantrum.. and the second time I was about 14 and I had told her to fuck off (didnt mean it to come out.. it just did, and I knew the moment I said it what would happen next.. and that is the one and only time in my life I ever swore at her..

I was never just smacked without warning or for no good reason, and I would have no hesitation in smacking my own kids under the same circumstances.

In all honesty, the worst punishment as a kid was being grounded and hearing all your mates still playing out.

Well I will admit I did slap my mum back. Just once. I was 15 or 16. Can't remember the original argument but I clearly remember thinking "no you don't get to do that any more" and I slapped her face, as she had just done to me. I remember the look on her face, like she had just realised we were equal. She didn't hit me again after that day.

Don't think my post reads clear that my dad never smacked us. We feared his disapporval the most too. Seems to me the smacking doesn't work.

I have never smacked ds, and never will.

My DM would smack once for every syllable. Luckily she was not very bright and knew few words with more than two syllables.

Don't think she ever pulled my pants down.

born in 1971, my Dad used to threaten to smack me, but never did. The threat was enough. My mum used to chase me and slap my legs if she caught me. By the time I had got to the top of the stairs she had backed off Nothing akin to child abuse though, just normal smacking. Some of your tales are horrid and am sorry for you

Was born in the 70s and was never smacked.

My mum knew a woman who had smacked her child and the child got taken into care, my mum was terrified after that.

Back of the leg. Never EVER knickers down. I agree with others that knowing of disapproval was the worst punishment. It was terrible - personally I would have been happy with a quick smack for a given reason than all the adult huffing and puffing and hushed disucssion, that was obviously my fault

I can remember being smacked by my dad and being fine with it. The "He's gone to bed now, he is SO disappointed he can't bear to look at you" stuff from my grandparents lives on.

oh and talking about being ignored, my dad didn't speak to me from the age of 13 - 19 even though I lived at home until I was 18, but then he is quite good at throwing a sulk, and I am quite good at ignoring it. Touche

Did anyone get the silent treatment? My mum could do it for days! Worse than smacking IMO. (Also don't do that to my children).

Laura my mum never did it, but my dad did for 6 years.....beat that. I used to be walking though the garden on the way home from school and he would walk past me and blank me.....Mind you he is 85 now and has always had 'issues'

they didn't

There is much worse you can do to a child than smack them occassionally imho.

Born in 1971. My mum smacked us a handful of times, only ever on the backs of the legs and never ever trousers down. The one time I remember her smacking my brother she sat down on the floor and cried. My dad smacked me on the hand and the only time he ever did was to stop me biting my nails because he had hardly any nails left. It worked and I have lovely nails now.

I don't have any bad memories of being smacked IYSWIM, no resentment or anything.

DH was hit with a wooden spoon and he does feel resentment. He's never quite forgiven his parents even though he gets on well with them.

but isn't it better not to do anything harmful Porto?

My parents managed without it in the 70s. It isn't necessary.

Born in 68. My mum smacked us with her slipper, my dad used his belt (but more on my brothers, he never hit me or my sister).

My mum, when really riled, would go up the garden and get a 'rod', which was a branch from a small tree/brush and hit us with that. It really really hurt.

It was worse when she asked one of us children to go and get the 'rod' (which would be used on whoever had been naughty) and we'd always come back with a twig type offering which riled her even more. She'd stomp up the garden and come back with a really hefty branch so it really backfired on whoever was in for a bit of a beating.

My mum ran a tight ship with 5 kids under 5. She was very strict but I adored her and it never did me any harm . However, I will never hit my DD.

The violence was terrible and I did used to think that this was the 'norm' until dp pointed out rather pointedly that a fully grown adult smacking a small child was abuse.

I have never smacked my ds since (he was only about 1 1/2 so only ever smacked back of hand, which dp was appalled by, to my shock).

Looking back I can't believe what we endured, but to be perfectly honest I thought it was normal, I remember my dad grabbing me by the jumper and slapping me so hard my jumper ripped, I don't think its really 'damaged' me as such, but I sure as hell don't smack my ds anymore, but who knows if I would without dp pointing out the obvious?!

Portofino - I do agree, however it is something I now actively avoid.

The emotional abuse was far worse.