Smacking - how your parents did it?

[notalreadyinuse]

• [Message from MNHQ - please note, this thread was started in 2011]

I assume that most people who were young children in the 70s were smacked by their parents, but a thread today reminded me about something that has been bothering me.

My dad always pulled my pants down to smack me - until about the age of 8 I think when I think the smacking mostly stopped.

I wondered if this was "normal" then?

Namechanged for this one...

I was born early 90's and smacked.

Horrible memories for me too.

What exactly is it teaching children? That fear and humiliation is acceptable from loved ones?

Seriously imagine you messed up in work and there was violent consequences. Their would be outrage! Even the worst criminals in our society don't face physical consequences.

But it's fine for children 'to teach them a lesson' ok then. Some lesson!

There is a massive difference between getting the odd smacked leg and a beating. Some if these comments are horrific

No wonder people have such anti views on smacking if you were physically abused to this extent! Smacking round the face? there's a difference between a tap on the bum and violence of this extreme! I was born in 1979. My mum used to smack me and my siblings with a wooden spoon, always on the bottom and (usually) clothes on if I remember rightly. I thought that was bad enough but some of these stories are terrible!

I was born in 1966.

Dad never smacked me.

Mum did. On the back of the legs, never on a bare bum. She'd stand in the doorway with her hand on the opposite door jamb so I'd have to duck under her arm. She'd then follow through with a smack on my legs.

She did bang me around the head once when I was about 18, and that was hard enough to make my vision blur a bit.

And then she tried to throttle me, punched me in the chest and finally ended up kicking me when I was 47. Which is why we're NC.

Sad really

Both mine smacked and claimed they didn't. My mum is adamant she never did or would and that anyone who does is a vile abuser. A few years ago a cousin brought up a time I'd caught nits and said how she remembered my mum being really cross and smacking me for it and my mum was furious because it could never have happened

My dad never smacked us, but my mum used to hit us with a leather strap she kept on her person. She used to thump me till I fell on the floor, then she'd kick me. Once she kicked me in my nether regions and boy did it hurt. It brought tears to my eyes in more ways than crying. I told her I was telling my dad, and she said she'd beat me up if I did. I was 10. When I was 17 she slapped me hard across the face. I threw her across the kitchen into the twin tub. She never raised her hands to me again

I remember flinching once when my mum made a sudden movement near my head and her saying "ha ha you thought i was going to hit you." Bitch. When I was about 14 i started to hit back. No regrets and I would do the same again.

Dad never smacked - he once aid he was frightened he would be too forceful & really hurt us.

Mum smacked occasionally, after reasonable warnings, mostly my brother - he was much naughtier than I, always without pulling pants down.

Born in 1965.

*once said

I grew up in the 70s. I was smacked with a wooden spoon and a belt. Thinking back my brother and i were locked in our room regularly, i was also locked out of the house and left when i was 6, cant remember what i had done wrong but everyone went to the fair all evening and left me locked out to sit in the garden alone till they came back. I also remember mum losing it once and throwing plates at us . Also remembering being sat on the kitchen worktops and mum turned gas hob on and threatened to sit me on it. I was 7

Born in '86. Was smacked lots. Can remember being particularly slapped do hard by father that he didn't do it again. Was also punched always by mother, I'd have bruises and then she'd ask how I got them. Cow.

I remember being locked outside, when I was younger than 3, as my grandfather let me back in and he died before I was 3. Lovely earliest memories.

Most of this I knew was awful, but has really become very apparent since DC were born.

I was born in '79. Me and my sister were both smacked by both our parents, never with an implement, always on the bottom but never pulling pants down, and always after at least two warnings. If the warnings were ignored we got smacked and we always knew exactly why it had happened. I don't feel it did me any harm at all. It certainly wasn't anything along the lines of some of the treatment I've seen described here.

My brother was younger though and by that time people were starting to look askance at the practice of smacking, so he didn't really get smacked (and he was a right little terror when he was younger, too! I remember my sister and I both feeling a little indignant that he got away with behaviour that would have earned either of us a smacked bottom). He's a lovely, sweet gentleman now so the difference in disciplining doesn't seem to have made much difference between us all, really - Mum just had to put up with a lot more manic/naughty behaviour from him when he was little.

I was born in 1958 and I am now a grandmother as well as a mother.
Up until about 8 Mum hand smacked me bare bottom and I got the slipper bare bottom up to my 11th birthday.
After that my normal punishment was 6 strokes of the cane on my bare bottom and this happened until I was 20. My later punishments were mainly for coming in after curfew time.
My final caning happened when I was 21. About 4 days before my 21st birthday when my curfew times were removed I came in after curfew time and Mum did nothing. My 21st birthday fell on the Friday and on the Sunday she said I will be caned on the next Friday. I did bend over thinking that was the final time. Mum said that was my 59th caning and it would be nice to make it a round 60.
About 6 months later I was talking to some girls who were smoking but was not smoking myself.
Mum said that was passive smoking and I had to bend over for another 6 strokes.

Sheila

My mom uses a belt but she mostly threatened to us it she rarely does it. My dad uses to open hand smack me when I was a baby because I was crawling on him according to my mom but I do not remember any of his spanking me. He is more neglectful because of his drinking.
But, plenty of people got their bottom spanked with their pants down. I have even seen children's picture book showing this(forgot the name of it).

If there was nothing sexual, then it was just a simple spanking so you will feel the sting.

As me, I am breaking the cycle of spanking with my three years old. Hard to do as she doesn't listen very well and I have to be creative to find what works.

Mum was born in the sixties. Her dad used the slipper but not often, that was the final resort if they'd pushed their luck. He'd pull their pants down and whack them with his slipper on the backside. They'd also get a 'clout round the lughole' (I.e smack around the back of the head) if they were out of line.

In contrast my mum only smacked me when she'd lost control. She'd get really wound up and lash out. I don't remember her hitting me much but my stepdad was basically abusive. He'd hit me until I couldn't breathe .

On occasions when Mum was not available on the Friday my aunt would carry out the caning.
Mum caned my brother as well to ensure the canings were fair.
I think it must have been embarrassing for my brother to be caned bare bottom by a female especially my aunt.
I know she caned him when he was 18.
Mum caned my cousins on a couple of occasions.
I also had 2 school canings on my over the knickers.

ZOMBIE THREAD*

Resurrected by a troll

I was born early 90's and was smacked.
Was only ever a quick tap on the bum from my Dad - never a real smack. His bark was way worse than his bite!
But my mum was a whole different kettle of fish!! Back of the thighs with a damp tea towel was the worst one usually if one of us was being cheeky while she was in the kitchen....anywhere else in the house, your thighs were safe!

I was born in 73. My mother was an unstable, bipolar and with a drink problem. If she'd had a drink she might be sickly sweet cloying to me, her slurring silly voice used to make my stomach churn as you never know when her mood would change in a split second and she would lash out. We got slapped across the legs, with bare hands, slippers or a cane she kept purely for that purpose. If she was in a bad mood then look out, the screaming and shouting over any little misdemeanour would make me almost collapse in fear.

As I became a teen she hated not being able to control me. The slaps became around the face, I can clearly remember her face up against mine, her foul alcohol laden breath and spit in my face. She used to get so angry over the most ridiculous things. I spent my 16th birthday out hanging around with friends. This annoyed her so she smashed my birthday cake up and went mad, screaming and hitting me, all in front of my friends.

She died a number of years ago now, our relationship hadnt properly recovered since she kicked me out at 17 as she hated not being able to control my life as I was getting older. She outlet cope with me having opinions and a mind of my own.

My father was the smack around the head variety, usually done to appease my mother who enjoyed seeing us disciplned. She enjoyed seeing me beaten especially as she was jealous of my father and mines relationship.

Such a messed up woman. I'm not a perfect parent by any means but my children know they are loved and are raised in a house of love and calm.

My mother ( or Queen of fucking Sheba, as I call her) seemed to revel in beating me and my brother. She never used to pull our pants down, she would just slap and punch indiscriminately or use whatever what was within arms reach. It didn't matter if you were actually guilty of any wrong doing or not.
If you were innocent, she would say ' that's before you do' or ' you were probably thinking about it'.
My father never raised his hand to me, although he gave my brother a few beltings. His way of thinking was 'A man has no business raising his hands to a female, whoever she is, whatever she's done'.
When I was 19, I started seeing a bloke who was 24, he had a twin brother who was married with a baby on the way. I had gone for an evening out with the then boyfriend and while I was out, someone told my mother that I was ' cavorting with a married man'.
When I arrived home, my mother beat me practically unconscious while calling me a filthy little whore and such like.
I left home the next day and I've never spoken to her since. That was over 30 years ago.
According to my brother, she sits there demanding that everyone visits or phones her rather than getting off her fat arse and visiting or phoning them, is still as domineering as ever and has slapped the grandkids at times.
I've never raised my hands to my kids, they're grown up now and we have a wonderful relationship. They joke that ' we could always tell when you were angry at us, you would make a cuppa and sit at the table while giving us 'the look'.
Strangely, just a couple of weeks ago me and the kids were laughing about a time when they were small and they were fighting over an action man. I lost my temper, snatched it off them and slammed it down on the table, where it promptly broke in half. ' you can bloody have half each now' . ( the action man broke in half, not the table )
My husband has never raised his hands to the kids either, he has the same viewpoint as my dad with our daughter. With our son, he would refuse to take him to the park to play football or similar punishments.

We're were terribly abused as children, mum would smack us for any misdemeanour and when dad got home he'd line us up to smack us for whatever lie she'd told. Every night for years this happened. Add this onto my night wetting the bed where they'd rub my nose in it like a dog.

I remember once at 7 standing between him and 3 yo sister to stop him repeatedly punching her. One sister is very mentally ill due to them. They are cunts.

We now live 200+ miles away, and are far more successful than they ever imagined. I'm another with a mother who thinks I've made it up when I speak to her, she knows it's true as she can not answer it.

I will never hit my children.

I was brought up in the 60's along with my younger brother. Both of our parents believed in smacking us both when needed. Mum would always take down our underpants and use the hairbrush or wooden spoon on our bare bottoms where dad would take down the underpants and hand smack us and when we got older for more serious things would give us the slipper

This thread is heartbreaking.

I was on the phone to a friend last week and in conversation about our little boys (both lovely, both incredibly strong willed) she said that neither shouting nor smacking him sorted him out. I was really shocked. Was t really sure what to say but it certainly made me feel very unpleasant

I was brought up in the 50s. My mum sometimes slapped my leg if I was playing up but she was a loving, caring and selfless mum who gave me a very happy, secure childhood. We loved each other to bits and I wouldn't have changed her for the world.