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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DH bugging me for sex constantly...

101 replies

Professor · 14/03/2011 22:28

and TBH, I'm getting really pissed off with him about it.

Every day we just seem to have this undercurrent about sex. I feel like I'm living in some sleazy Carry On film, with DH making suggestive remarks all the time.

Today, I actally 'hid' in the car at a Tesco car park, eating a sarnie and reading the paper, rather than go home because I knew he'd be there and would start making suggestions for a shag as soon as the DCs were at school.
I mean, how wrong is that???
When I did return, making sure I had the DCs in tow, he made some remark about 'waiting in bed' for me, but I didn't come back after taking DCs to school.

I just feel so uncomfortable with him just lately and hate being in the house with him without the DCs, because I just know he will start banging on about sex again.

It's really starting to get to me now. Does anyone else have this problem?

OP posts:
Mum2Luke · 14/03/2011 22:37

I don't have this as bad but he does bug me esp at the 'wrong' time - ie time of the month, on Saturday morning when am just about to get up to sort ds for his football or when am tired!

Some men are so bloody insensitive, do they not think that we can do without sex for long periods of time. At the moment I just do not fancy my other half, he's put on weight and is eating far too much - a bloody turn off!

I need to go to bed and pretend I'm asleep!! Goodnight!

Quattrocento · 14/03/2011 22:39

Introduce him to his hand

Booandpops · 14/03/2011 22:40

Yes. I have had this. Generally give in sometimes for a peaceful life. I find it a turn off but they don't get that do they!!

I honestly think I could be celibate and be not bothered

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 22:41

Yes, have done that one too. Although I tend to sit watching TV till midnight then creeping into bed.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 14/03/2011 22:42

thats awfull....you had to hide and dont feel comfortable in your own home

he needs telling

ShowOfHands · 14/03/2011 22:43

Has he always been this way? Have your libidos always been mismatched?

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 22:48

And, yes, I do give in sometimes and do the lie back and think of England thing. But surely he must realise I'm not really participating.
I just really hate the double entendres all the time, the sly remarks and digs, etc.
I still can't believe I actually sat in a car park for 3 hours rather than go home.

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 14/03/2011 22:49

My husband used to go through phases of behaving like some randy old goat...

The only solution I found was to reverse the situation and demand the same from him.. he was knackered after two days (so was I but I didnt let on.. ).. and shut up for a while after that....

Quattrocento · 14/03/2011 22:51

Seriously, you need to tell him that being married to Sid James is a serious turn-off. Then introduce him to his hand.

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 22:52

He has been told. When I express my dislike of his comments he just accuses me of being boring and 'no fun anymore'.

I think we've always been pretty evenly matched in our libidos, but after 3 DCs, mine has waned somewhat!

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 14/03/2011 22:53

You could tell him that Hattie Jacques was into copraphilia (no joke)

Then watch his libido expire

squeakytoy · 14/03/2011 22:55

That was my other method too Quattro.. I told mine that the more he carried on like that, the more offputting it was and the less chance he had of getting any at all..

Apparently his father was the same though... it seems genetic... (((my poor MIL)))

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 22:55

Squeakytoy...I di that too, but he loved it. Think he would have gone on for a whole year. Thing is, he doesn't have to do as much work during the day as me, so he's bound to have more energy.

I hate that he's turned into a sad Sid James (even has his laugh).

OP posts:
Hassled · 14/03/2011 22:56

He's not really selling himself, I have to say. There's nothing more unattractive than a desperate man.

And he just sounds so selfish - does he actually give a shit how you feel? Does he have any redeeming features?

squeakytoy · 14/03/2011 22:57

Prof, here is another trick that worked for me... tell him you want another baby. Sit there with a thermometer and temping chart, maybe a stopwatch.. that apparently is quite off putting too.. or so I got told Grin

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 22:59

He would never fall for that one.

We only had 3 DCs because he wanted 3.

Me wanting another baby would never happen.

OP posts:
Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 23:01

And, TBH, am finding it hard to think about any redeeming features.Blush

OP posts:
Heroine · 14/03/2011 23:05

Tell him you have this fantasy about whispering in his ear one night that 'its ok I want you to watch loads of porn, yeah, then I want to watch you masturbate' .. say you want to be bored mistress of the house watching a servant masturbate for her then.. do just that! ask him to keep doing it, even if he doesn't get hard on the third or so time.. then say 'that was beautiful', concilitory hug if you like, then off downstairs for DP re-runs (not THAT type of DP .. Despie Housies).

squeakytoy · 14/03/2011 23:06

You never know though.. he might fall for it purely by the shock factor!... in which case you can say that too much sex isnt good for the sperm count... once every 4 days is better...Wink

Seriously though, how often do you do it? Has he got any grounds for his desperation or does he need some bromide?

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 23:08

What in God's name is copraphilia?
Heroine...so love that idea. Can't actually believe that anyone would be that stupid to fall for it though.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 14/03/2011 23:10

When did you go off it? when you do do it, do you enjoy it at all?

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 23:10

I honestly don't think we have an abnormal sex life. I mean, what is normal anyway?

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 14/03/2011 23:11

normal for married couples is at least twice a week apparently

Quattrocento · 14/03/2011 23:11

coprophilia You did ask. I've only just found out myself, courtesy of a scriptwriter friend. Glad to share though. I cannot imagine anything worse than living with Sid James. Except possibly living with Benny Hill.

Good luck btw

Original poster
Professor · 14/03/2011 23:12

I think I went off sex when I found out I was pregnant with DC 3.

I don't actually enjoy the sex anymore, but am good at faking. Just do it nowadays for a quiet life.

OP posts: