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Original poster

Odd question - why DON'T you cheat on your partner?

91 replies

happiestblonde · 09/03/2011 10:58

DP claims to have not found another woman attractive since he met me - he is faithful because he feels incapable of being attracted to another woman because I captivate him sexually/mentally etc, more than just because he loves me and wouldn't wreck our rather wonderful relationship.

I love this, but I don't know if I could echo it. I am faithful to him because a)I love him and wouldn't out of respect for him b) I don't want to c) No man compares to him - that's not to say I couldn't see other men as attractive

I wanted MNer takes on this. Are you faithful out of a moral desire for honesty, because you wouldn't want to wreck your family or becasue your DP/H is the only attractive person alive to you?

OP posts:
warzone · 09/03/2011 10:59

Because I wouldn't want to spoil what we've got.

slartybartfast · 09/03/2011 11:00

i couldl just picture his devastated face Sad

warzone · 09/03/2011 11:00

But I do find other men attractive, naturally - and I think anyone who says they don't is probably lying.

Original poster
happiestblonde · 09/03/2011 11:00

I should probably add that although honesty is ideal, this is the first relationship I have been faithful in (not something I'm proud of but because of the age I was when DP and I got together I don't lose sleep over it)therefore that would never really be a reason for me.

OP posts:
JessicaDrew · 09/03/2011 11:01

i think we all have FWORRABLE moments when we see someone and think would half fancy them
i am sure he does too!!!!

Original poster
happiestblonde · 09/03/2011 11:01

He can see women are objectively attractive but not be attracted to them or have any desire for someone else. I believe him, he's exceptionally transparent.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 09/03/2011 11:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LostInTransmogrification · 09/03/2011 11:03

I find other people attractive but DH is the man I decided to spend the rest of my life with, have DS with and (as long as DH doesn't cheat, beat or gaslight me) I have no wish to consider having a relationship with anyone else.

Oh, and I'm too tired! Grin

superv1xen · 09/03/2011 11:03

i find other men attractive. but honestly, none measure up to DH. its not just his looks (although he is gorgeous IMO :) ) but everything about him, i don't think i would ever find anyone as right for me as he is.

he is the first person i have had a relationship where i haven't actively "fancied" other people and thought them "better" than who i was with.

squeakytoy · 09/03/2011 11:04

I can find other men attractive, I can think "well IF I were single, I would certainly be interested in him".. but my husband is my best mate too, and I would never do anything that would ruin our relationship or hurt him. Nobody else knows me like he does, and vice versa. I can be me when I am with him, and know he loves me unconditionally. I just dont see a future without him in my life, and I can happily have a daft crush on someone confident that it would never ever go further than that.

superv1xen · 09/03/2011 11:05

i have always been unfaithful to exes too happiest Blush

but could not imagine doing that to DH.

Original poster
happiestblonde · 09/03/2011 11:05

Super - I feel the same really. To me DP is the most beautiful man in existence, I was obsessed with him for a year before we got together Blush luckily it was mutual but it's so much more than that, he's my best friend and I just think he's brilliant.

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 09/03/2011 11:07

I am not unfaithful as:

I am happy and in love, I love our marriage and DH, I can't imagine jepoardising that.
I find other men attractive, yes, but noone has ever turned my head so much I'd be prepared to hurt DH so badly or ruin our relationship.
My parents divorced because of both of their affairs, it was a messy,ugly and tawdry divorce which I was well aware of at an early age. I remember feeling like shit as a 10 year old that my parents thought less of our family unit than they did of their libidos.
So I couldn't do that to my children.

MickyLee · 09/03/2011 11:08

I don't cheat because I get all the attention I need from DH. I love him and our DC and have far to much respect for him. And honestly.. I couldn't be bothered!

onehotmomma · 09/03/2011 11:08

I don't cheat because 1) I love him 2)I wouldn't want to split up my family 3)he fulfills everything I need 4)I wouldn't want to hurt him as I know the devastation of being cheated on

I may look at other men and think 'he's cute' but thats as far as it goes for me

slightlymadmoo · 09/03/2011 11:12

i quite openly oggle after men on tv and DH does for women though in a much more carefull ways

we don't cheat (i hope) because we promised we wouldn't, we're both too tired and no-one else would put up with us anyway

OliPolly · 09/03/2011 11:14

I don't cheat because I love my DH. I am very content because I know he loves me and our kids. He respects me as a person and we are the best of friends. He is fit too so hey Wink

TerrysNo2 · 09/03/2011 11:14

Would never cheat on DH, our relationship is too special, if it wasn't I would leave rather than cheat. I also try to treat people how I expect to be treated.

But.... just because I am not eating doesn't mean I can't look at the menu!! Grin

Original poster
happiestblonde · 09/03/2011 11:15

I would have ample opportunity, as would he, and because of how our relationship begun {blush} trust is ultra important

OP posts:
onepieceoflollipop · 09/03/2011 11:15

Partly it is a moral thing, also that I love and respect dh (but like all relationships after 9 years let's be honest it's not like being in love/lust and all exciting the whole time)

Also I think that even if I was to cheat on dh, the "new" relationship would eventually become "everyday". One can't keep running after a new, improved version (imo)

squeakytoy · 09/03/2011 11:15

I want to add, I have been married ten years now, and I feel much more confident that this is forever, than I did in the first couple of years of being married.

holyShmoley · 09/03/2011 11:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

yama · 09/03/2011 11:18

Actually, I can't remember the last time I thought someone other than my dh was attractive.

So, for your dp's reason and for all the ones listed by everyone else. I have nodded all the way through the thread.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 09/03/2011 11:20

I can also picture DH's devastated face, it would totally break him. He's my best friend and no amount of hot sex or promises is worth more than that.

I wouldn't be able to look DD in the eye either. Family comes first for us, without exception. If it gets to the stage where there is nothing left in the relationship then leave, don't cheat.

But it's a hard question because it's easy to be idealistic like me when you're not staring it in the face. It's hard not to sound like you're casting aspersions on people whose relationships have broken down.

Malificence · 09/03/2011 11:20

Because I love and respect him, plus I've honestly never been physically attracted to another man in my entire adult life , that's not to say I don't find other men pleasing to look at but that's a totally seperate thing imo.

I don't mind DH finding other women attractive/nice to look at, at all, but I would mind very much if he was physically attracted to another woman

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