Odd question - why DON'T you cheat on your partner?

[happiestblonde]

DP claims to have not found another woman attractive since he met me - he is faithful because he feels incapable of being attracted to another woman because I captivate him sexually/mentally etc, more than just because he loves me and wouldn't wreck our rather wonderful relationship.

I love this, but I don't know if I could echo it. I am faithful to him because a)I love him and wouldn't out of respect for him b) I don't want to c) No man compares to him - that's not to say I couldn't see other men as attractive

I wanted MNer takes on this. Are you faithful out of a moral desire for honesty, because you wouldn't want to wreck your family or becasue your DP/H is the only attractive person alive to you?

because things would never be the same again and what I have is too precious to ruin

I am faithful to dp as,
A.I wouldn't want to jeopardise our family.
B.I love him.
C.No one can compete with how well we go together.
D.I would be devestated if he cheated on me so wouldn't do it to him.

The thing is happiestblonde that all this depends on the sexual, emotional and "in love" connection lasting forever - easy to achieve in a relationship's infancy and when there aren't any competing demands in the mix, such as children, health issues, extended family problems, other friendships and relationships that need attention and busy careers.

Whereas core principles, morals and beliefs transcend all the difficult parts of a long relationship and aren't reliant on the behaviour or exclusive attention of the other person.

And in the best relationships, that romantic start leads to a deeper, more accepting kind of love, that allows people to grow and learn, having their own interests and friendships. Understanding that the attention will inevitably shift away from the romantic relationship at certain times, rather than punishing that person for failing to live up to the romantic goddess role she carved out for herself in the early days.

Wwifn I think you have it down exactly. In the early days my relationships too tend to be very intense, passionate affairs like Happiestblobde describes but when I was younger my love for my partner would usually fade with the passion. Once the poor man stopped living up to the romanticised image of him I had fixed in my mind, my interest would waver,

Now I am wiser (ahem, older!) and married to my dh and the life we have together with our child has allowed me to look past the more shallow trappings, drop the Rose tinted lense I used to view him through and see him honestly and love him for himself. I know he truly sees me and my faults too and loves me anyway and I have never has this kind of unconditional bond/understanding with anyone before; to be honest I don't believe I had ever been in a real, adult relationship before this. That is what stops me cheating where the younger me would have been less conscientious concerning the feelings of others: DH is the first partner I've had where I see him as a whole person in his entirety and not just the aspects I want to see.

I don't cheat because we took vow's and I said I wouldn't.
No sex would be worth tearing our family apart.

I couldn't...it's such an intimate thing for me now sex...to be with some strange man would be gross.

wwifn I don't think my DP puts me in some kind of 'goddess' role and I cannot imagine the way he is now changing over time. Yes we've only been together a couple of years but my love/adoration for him grows every day and I can see in him it does too. He is my best friend and it means so much more to me that he would not betray ME rather than he would not betray whoever he was with. I know he would, you know (I think) how we got together, but I do not doubt him for a second. His day job is writing about ethics and morality so I guess he is a bit detached from that, he has a huge fear of being with someone out of obligation, but I know he could start hiding his phone, come home smeared with lipstick and have bite marks all over him but I would be absolutely certain that he had been attacked by a lipstick wearing werewolf rather than betray me.

I don't cheat because I couldn't bear to let anyone see my tummy after 2 huge DCs both born by c-section.

ACtually I don't cheat because I've never wanted to, and also having discovered DH's EA I know what devastation and hurt it can cause and how it changes everything.

And no, him having done it doesn't make me want to do the same to get back at him. I wouldn't want to be with anyone else, it would just feel too alien.

He is my soul mate, we know each other inside out & i couldn't even imagine loving anyone as much as him.
He would do anything for me & always makes me feel special.
I have never had an attraction to anyone else.
Most of all we trust each other.

I love him.
He is my best friend.
I promised him that I would be faithful to him forever when I married him and I take that promise seriously.
I put our family and the life we have created together ahead of everything.
I could not bear to see the look on his face when he found out, in fact just thinking about it makes me want to cry. I could never do that to him.
He is gorgeous, we have great sex, and I doubt I could find another man who would bring me tea in bed every morning

I don't buy 'sometimes people just fall in love'. That is just an excuse for not having the courage to end a bad relationship before you go looking for sex elsewhere.

I am faithful because (in order of importance):

1. I love DH and wouldn't want to hurt him
2. I don't want to be unfaithful
3. I couldn't risk my family breaking up - it would be so awful, so much more than "normal" because I would probably end up back in England and DH would stay in Australia and what about poor DS? Couldn't do it to them.
4. I couldn't lie about it so would get caught even if 1), 2) and 3) didn't apply
5. I have no libido anyway - it's never been high but it's sub-zero now so no one is sexually attractive to me.

I am faithful because I WANT to be.

He is not the only attractive person alive! I see lots of attractive people. I am choosy though and if if I wasn't with him I would just get off with random men(not anymore).

I have made my choice to commit to him and i do because I want to. If i felt different, Id address it.

I couldnt imagne being intimate with someone else again.

We have built a lovely life together with DC'S. I feel I know him inside out, but at the same time things aren't stale.

I like his company and we have shared views and morals.

Ultimately though, i am just happy. I have not been in a situation where I had the urge to cheat.

In no particular order:
Because I believe it shows commitment
Because I try to treat people in the way I would like to be treated
Because she is totally committed to me and our family
Because she is selfless. It would be completely selfish of me to cheat on her.
Because I want to set a good example to our children
Because our physical relationship has been tested to the limit by the usual pressures of family and working life and we have seen our way through the toughest times of those pressures
Because I hate upsetting her and cheating would clearly upset her
Because I was brought up to believe it is completely wrong

I was with a friend a few weeks ago and I said that the idea of having sex with someone other than my DH was just hideous. She was surprised and said 'what? you can't imagine having sex with anyone else??'. I can honestly say that I really can't imagine having sex with someone other than my DH. It just doesn't enter into my head to be unfaithful and the thought of having sex with someone else I really do find hideous. May also be because I had a lot of fun in my youth (up to mid 30's lol) and so feel I have done all my sexual experimentation plus I am lazy and it would mean I would have to wax more LOL.

On a more serious note I love him and would not want to do something that would destroy what we have. I would hate myself for it and have seen so many people hurt and had their self-esteem damaged by infidelity that I just couldn't do it to him or myself or my child. I am proud of the kind of person my DH is and want him to always be my DH.

One reason I don't cheat is because I don't fancy anyone else. To be fair, I've never really fancied anybody very much.
I value what I have and wouldn't want to compromise it.
I have no interest in being with anyone else.
I love DD too much to destroy her family.
DH is my best friend.