I've just discovered a stash of women's clothes in my husband's wardrobe

[speculationisrife]

In a size 16, and I'm an 8-10 (and so is his sister). I'm not sure whether to be more troubled that he hasn't told me about them, or that there is a Per Una peasant-style skirt in there. Seriously, though, I was just looking to pinch a hanger when he was out last night and noticed them at the end of the shirts and trousers. It may seem odd that I've only just seen them, but we have quite big wardrobes and put away our own clothes.

In the past we've had 'jokey' conversations in which he's implied he wouldn't be averse to dressing up. And, honestly, I don't have a problem with it, just would find it a bit of a turn off if he did it in front of me.

So... do I keep quiet and assume it's his private thing and let him keep it that way. Or do I say something so that he knows it's OK with me, and not something he has to be embarrassed about (apart from the Per Una skirt and the dress with the girly smocking, of course, both of which he damn well should be embarrassed about)? I'm wondering if, given that they were left in plain-ish sight, he might quite like me to know.

I guess it's always possible I've got completely the wrong end of the stick, but they are new without tags, so I can't imagine what else they'd be for.

I've namechanged, by the way, as I know quite a few local MNers in RL. If I don't respond quickly it's because I'm trying to get to work and, once there, actually do some work. Would appreciate your advice, though.

Ah yes, Ingrid, I am familiar with it! It all seems very sad and miserable, not to mention confused. I must say I hadn't at all seen myself in a similar situation. I hadn't really seen it as an issue of privacy (I stumbled upon something that was left where I could easily come across it) and as for secrecy, I think it's more a case of being embarrassed, or unsure, than deliberately secretive, if that makes sense.

I really do trust my DH, he is a lovely, honest man. But he himself admits that he has had issues of guilt over sex and sexual feelings in the past owing to (I know, blame the mother!) his mother's puritanism. (She is a lovely woman, too, incidentally, just a product of her own background).

As for Eddie - if only everyone was so uncomplicated, how easy life would be . I like that perspective lenak, thanks for sharing it.

By the way, thanks again, everyone. It's really helping to chat about it - I really should be doing some work, but am soooo distracted!

PeterAndre - I might do. I'm just happily (or slightly concernedly) vacillating right now...

like us all! busy at work !
we all probably know that when home alone Hubby's have the odd solo fumble, its just what they need to stimulate them that can be a problem.
it seems him leaving it easy to find, that he wants to (dare i say) come out!!!! he know how understanding you are and needs to have his secret out in the open, maybe he will be disappointed if you don't menation it?????

gosh, jessica, are you always this gushy ?

i try my best x

I've just discovered a stash of women's clothes?
one peruna skirt isn't a stash??? what else was there if i can be so nosey!

A couple of blouses, a rather pretty New Look print dress, a short skirt from Next.

Verily, a stash!

MMMM defo a stash
myself i would have to know what is going on, my mind is filled with ideas of him meeting men etc
it could be somethinghe does alone but doubt would be there in my mind
sorry to worry you

Definitely not meeting men or anyone else - so you're not worrying me. All his time is accounted for, believe me - not in a controlling way, just that he is so busy with work and family, and we always know where the other one is. We sometimes joke about how people with families and jobs manage to have affairs - where do they get the time!?

thats good sorry to have brought it up, if you are so close maybe you should let him unburden himself and tell you how he feels

if he really is a cross dresser...where does he find the time to do that ?

where there any shoes, make-up ?

I knew a cross dressing bloke once...the shoes are very important, apparently

really!!!!
not sure if M&S go to size 10, but i know Evans do lol

there are specialist shops, jess

a thriving business, I'm sure

like where your ex Katie goes for her scaffolding wired bra's

summat like that, yeah

they also do ladeez white gloves in shovel sizes

You'd have to smile at the thought of him trotting around New Look with his print dress over his arm

Charity shops are a great source for CD's to get their clothing. Where they can browse and buy while still blending into the 'wallpaper' or 'woodwork'. Many also use these shops to get the shoes if they are too embarassed to go into a normal shop or dont have the availability for a specialised shop.

I dont think cd's have that much trouble buying their outfits-they buy online and there are online shops that cater for bigger feet.

I am a larger lady and bought stockings from ebay.

Only after I bought did I realise that the stockings in the picture were modelled by a man. The paypal transaction was extremely discreet as was the packaging and return address.

So it is actually quite easy to pick stuff up. Try putting 'sissy' into ebay's search engine - though not if you are at work.

"I dont think cd's have that much trouble buying their outfits-they buy online and there are online shops that cater for bigger feet."

Dont forget thingumy, not everyone is online. Its one of those situs, just because we are doesnt mmean everyone is.

I'm a driver with a car and tend to forget that people do get public transport. Same in this situ with internet.

Hi speculationisrife i have just come across your thread after googling cross dressing. I also found a stash of 'womens' clothes in my husband's cupboard last week and I am ashamed to say that I have not handled it as well as you. I am trying very hard to be open minded and not make him feel 'bad' but if truth be told I am horrified. I know he has a much greater sexual appetite than me and that I am not as adventurous as he would like but the thought that he gets pleasure from dressing as a woman is a huge turn off for me and I am struggling to get the image out of my head. I have always been attracted to strong, capable men and the thought of him running round the house dressed as Mrs Doubtfire every time I go out is turning my stomach! I don't know what to do, should I force myself to put it our of my mind and allow him his privacy knowing that it will probably affect our sex life or should I talk to him? Did you confront your husband in the end or did you decide to turn a blind eye? I don't know what to do.

OP is unlikely to come back, Flusteredmum. You could start a new thread yourself.

TBH, I wonder why if a man likes to dress in women's clothes he "must" have sexual issues, but if a woman likes jeans and t-shirts/shirts is ok.

Surely men and women must cover the full spectrum of dress preferences, without it necessarily correlating with sexual preferences.

Only (most) men feel the need to put their feminine clothes in the closet.