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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Friends with dh on facebook?

41 replies

muminthesun · 04/03/2011 17:52

I have never been into facebook etc,but have been in process of setting up account.

Starting to add friends and sent a friend request to dh.He has been on it for a while and has quite alot of friends on it,both old and new,some business related and from school.

The thing is he wont accept me as a friend?

Have asked him why not.He says in a joking way Im just nosy and want to keep tabs on him and that I'll just ask who cetain females are etc.

This is probably true as I do have a slight jealous streak!

It has just made me feel a bit upset,would you be?

OP posts:
CheerfulMe · 04/03/2011 17:53

Yes. I would be uneasy.

Theyremybiscuits · 04/03/2011 17:55

BIG ALARM BELLS HERE! SORRY DON'T TRUST HIm.

Sorry the caps were on.

robberbutton · 04/03/2011 17:57

YANBU, yes, v uneasy. Hope he's got nothing to hide OP :(

cluckles · 04/03/2011 17:59

I won't be friends with my OH now as he started to go down my list of friends asking how they know me so yes I can understand him ij you slightly jealous.

FlamingoBingo · 04/03/2011 18:00

OMG that is so weird! Why is your husband so secretive? Why does he think you'll go all jealous?

You seriously need to have some talks about your relationship!

cluckles · 04/03/2011 18:00

"If you are" sorry using my mobile.

Original poster
muminthesun · 04/03/2011 18:01

The thing is its related to his job,which he takes very seriously.

I know he doesnt really write personal updates,usually related to work,business events in comimg months etc.

Having said that its a family business so he has pictures of ds on there etc.

OP posts:
mrsravelstein · 04/03/2011 18:02

oh god it's definitely weird that he won't accept you. having said that i do find it equally weird the number of my friends who communicate with their husbands/wives on FB (there's quite a bit of 'what would you like for supper?', or 'go and clean the bathroom' going on). my dh has a fb account but never uses it and keeps getting horrified when people want to be his friend...

FourFortyFour · 04/03/2011 18:02

DH and I are not on FB any more but when we were we were friends. I would have been very Hmm if he refused to accept me.

FlamingoBingo · 04/03/2011 18:02

Why have you been so jealous of him, though?

BooyFuckingHoo · 04/03/2011 18:03

wow, what the hell is he hiding??

there is no way i would accept being with a partner who refused to accept a friend request from me. no way.

FlamingoBingo · 04/03/2011 18:03

My point is, if your jealousy has become such a problem that he hides things from you, then your relationship really needs some work to sort it out!

HorseWhisperer · 04/03/2011 18:03

cluckles, Seriously??? My goodness, your OH is out of order, I would be mortified, then angry.

muminthesun, it is extremely odd and, indeed, the alarm bells would be deafening.

lookingfoxy · 04/03/2011 18:05

We were each others first friends, and after he closed his, he still logged onto mine for a nosy at his mates.
I would be slightly suss about this as well.

peeriebear · 04/03/2011 18:07

DH was one of the first people I added on FB- because he's my husband and my FRIEND!
I rarely put anything on his page or speak to him on there though, I see him enough at home.
If he'd refused to add me I would have been very annoyed and suspicious.

Original poster
muminthesun · 04/03/2011 18:07

He does have a valid point on the jealousy!

If we bump into someone or says hello,I will usually ask how he knows her etc,I cant help it have always been a bit like that,he is the least jealous person in the world and has both male and female friends.

this is all fine with me,but I do like a bit of background on themSmile

I sound weird now!

OP posts:
mrsravelstein · 04/03/2011 18:09

i've got a load of ex boyfriends on FB (actually i don't know whether to be embarrassed at how many there are, or pleased that we're all still friends), but none of them would ever write anything i wouldn't want my husband to see. and in fact i don't log out of FB so husband could nosy on my messages and it wouldn't remotely be a problem.

ENormaSnob · 04/03/2011 18:10

Alarm bells for me.

BooyFuckingHoo · 04/03/2011 18:11

ok you really need to work on your jealousy issue but him being secretive isn't going to help.

BooyFuckingHoo · 04/03/2011 18:13

also have exes on FB.

cluckles · 04/03/2011 18:13

Lol Horsewhisper, I have serious problems with him ! Yes I am mortified.

mrsravelstein · 04/03/2011 18:14

as to the jealous streak, you sound quite normal to me... i've got one a mile wide which has never caused any problems in any relationship i've had as far as i'm aware. i'd rather have a jealous streak than a husband flirting with other women.

Original poster
muminthesun · 04/03/2011 18:15

He is also friends with other family members so I know its nothing too dodgy.

We lead quite independant/seperate lives in some ways,we have never had joint account,we mainly have differnt groups of friends etc.

We do have a very loving supportive marriage,and I havnt really told him how upset I feel about this,Im sure he would understand.

But he would have no interest in looking at my friend list,hes just not like that,would never think twice if a male school friend sent me a message,he would just accept we were friends.Where Im always a bit more suspicious by nature!

Maybe I have the problem.

OP posts:
Longtalljosie · 04/03/2011 18:16

Good grief - not only am I friends with DH on Facebook I'm listed as married to him on Facebook, as is every couple both on it I know!

Don't let him tell you this isn't weird. It is.

Original poster
muminthesun · 04/03/2011 18:18

As I said he has pictures of our kids on there,status is married etc.

OP posts: