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Original poster

Hmmm. What would you do?

123 replies

BabyYoureAFirework · 23/02/2011 18:34

Don't know where to start really without this being very long, and very dull Grin

I've been seeing someone for the last few months - it has been very intense from the start, and I fell for him quickly.

The children have met him and spent some time with him, I've met his mum and dad, and it has been a relationship that I will never forget.

But by god has he fucked me about. He's finished it a couple of times, freaked out about being in a relationship, asked me to move in, changed his mind, and generally behaved like a bit of a cunt, to be honest.

I've kept going back though. I really thought it would work, I thought we were perfect together, which is why I couldn't accept that he's a dick.

Last night, I had to take ds to A & E because he cut his head open and had to be glued back together. Not once did my 'man' text me to see if he was ok... and then when I spoke to him this morning, he didn't even ask after him.

It's like a light has gone on in my head. This relationship is really not good for me. I've feared for my mental health throughout because it's been so tempestuous, and the way I've behaved... this is completely out of character for me.

So. I need to finish it, don't I?

But I need my hand holding. I know it's the right thing, and I am going to do it. But I need somewhere to talk.

Sorry. It ended up being very long and very dull after all Wink

OP posts:
SaggyHairyArse · 27/02/2011 13:24

I really feel for you OP. it is pretty crappy when you fall for someone but it isn't working.

I have to say if he isn't considering whats best for your kids and is showing no real feelings of caring for them then that would be a deal breaker for me. You and your kids come as a package and he has to care about them.

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/02/2011 13:27
Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 27/02/2011 13:34

How do you mean he wrecked it? On purpose?? Shock

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 27/02/2011 14:29

Hissy, that is the measure of the man ! You know it. Being confrontted with the evidence of it has gotta hurt Sad < ouch >

How did your evening out go ?

LittleMissHissyFit · 27/02/2011 16:53

I think so, Now, there now is no VFT, there is a hole in the middle of the moss where it was. Nothing would have eaten it.. There is no other explanation, there is a deep, gaping hole where the roots would have been.

I can't even think what, why, how.... oh whatever...

I am soooo SAD tbh, because of it's utter pointlessness. In some ways this hurts more than the mucho mucho big stuff. indeed. Sad

Lovely night last night, really nice! I drove, which is my way A not to go somewhere on my own, and B not to drink too much in front of people I don't know.

Food AWESOME... Can highly recommend Pazzia Italian Restaurant in Sunninghill... Even better when someone else is paying for it ha ha!

PeterAndreForPM · 27/02/2011 17:12

glad you had a nice time, hissy

that is an utterly shitty and juvenile thing to do

just chalk it up to "reasons why I am glad to be rid of the twat"

get another VFT... a pity we can't throw all twats into 'em Smile

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 27/02/2011 21:21

Ermmmm.....he was on the website on which you met, just to send you a message....yeeeerrr....

And obviously his opinion of you is so high that he immediately thought the worst of you....what a corking chap!

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

There are plenty of websites to go on surely.

Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 28/02/2011 14:39

Exactly! Unfortunately I had already blocked him on there, so he couldn't message me Grin

Still no contact at all. Not since Saturday night. I feel great - back to work today, and back to my old self... hurrah!

OP posts:
Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 01/03/2011 09:46

You know what? I woke up today, and he wasn't the first thing I thought about. That's really unusual, and I was waiting for it to happen.

It's so strange how I can go from being so utterly besotted a few weeks ago, and now could really not care less if I never saw him again.

Fickle? Moi? Wink

OP posts:
SpringchickenGoldBrass · 01/03/2011 09:48

No, just a very sensible and sorted woman. You've realisd fundamentally that this bloke was a knob and not worth getting upset over ie that the man you thought you were falling for doesn't really exist, the reality is, well, a knob.

Binfullofmaggotsonthe45 · 01/03/2011 10:25

Good for you, onward and upwards and away from this life sucking creep!

Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 01/03/2011 10:38

SGB, you are so right. I have had clarity like you wouldn't believe. Over the last few days, I've thought back over things that happened, and cannot quite believe what a fool I've been.

I feel a bit of a dick actually Blush

OP posts:
PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 10:39

what you need to do now, is go and feel another dick Wink

JaxTellersOldLady · 01/03/2011 10:54

oh I am so glad that this has a 'happy' ending and not a hand wringing, 'but I looooooove him and will excuse all twatishness' (it IS a word)

Good for you baby hold your head high and move forward.

Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 01/03/2011 10:54

Oh don't start. I have a tendency to throw myself into promiscuity with abandon at times like these.

Don't encourage me, ffs Grin

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 01/03/2011 10:57

Well get a puppy then. That way you can have unconditional love on tap at home while you go out on the pull with a clear conscience. (Just need to find a babysitter who likes dogs.)

PeterAndreForPM · 01/03/2011 10:59

it's just an idea...

promiscuity is ok...it's getting too involved with twats like this when your problems start Grin

Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 15/03/2011 08:35

Still not had the chance for promiscuity Hmm Grin

He's been sort of.... contacting me. Wanting to be friends, texting me, calling me... Not loads, but enough to get on my tits.

So yesterday, I told him to fuck off. For good. I couldn't care less if I never saw him again. Some relationships leave you with too much of a nasty taste in your mouth to be friends. I feel cleansed Grin

OP posts:
SpringchickenGoldBrass · 15/03/2011 10:10

Well done. Remember, if he carries on trying to make contact, and particularly if he starts insulting or abusing you, it's worth mentioning it to the police. He may well fuck off and find someone else to upset and feed off, but sometimes men like this do get sufficiently tiresome when dumped that you need to get the authorities involved.

Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 15/03/2011 20:20

Yeah, I really hope he doesn't. The thing is, I really did want to be friends. He left a massive hole in my life, and I wanted to get something back from it. But I can't - sad but true.

I would hope he would respect my decision - but if he doesn't, the temper's coming out I'm afraid. He never saw the temper Grin

OP posts:
perfumedlife · 15/03/2011 20:46

Baby not been on here much and missed the dumping but YOU ROCK BABY Way to go! I know how hard it can be, starred in that particular B movie myself, but you handled him with aplomb, you are something else.

Hope he gives you peace now, the friendship thing never works. Onwards, men aplenty out there, get busy.xx

PS yes, very sorry I never asked after your little ds and his head Blush

Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 15/03/2011 21:19

Thanks perfumed. It was hard - but not as hard as I thought it would be. When he asked if he could call me on Sunday night, I spent the whole evening dreading it. I just had a moment of... what the fuck are you doing? Just had to bin it off Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
BabyYoureAFirework · 21/03/2011 10:01

So he's just called me.... to tell me that he's had a one night stand with someone who's told him she's caught HPV from him.

So now I've got to go and get tested.... I'm fucking furious. Not only at having the details of his fucking sex life shoved in my face like that, but also at the fact that he's had a valid reason to contact me.

FFS.

OP posts:
wellwisher · 21/03/2011 13:05

It could be a lie... but get tested anyway :(

Lox · 21/03/2011 13:29

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/2382.aspx?CategoryID=118&SubCategoryID=125

Check out this link. He is lying.

Also HPV infection can be there for the best part of our life time and most women would never know.

He may have slept with someone who has had an abnormal smear result but that will be the long and short of it.

By all means go for a full STD screning just to put a line under your liason with him but ignore his BS.