My mum is sick and twisted or IS DH

[Desperately]

My Mum has accused my husband of sexually molesting DD (14). We rarely see my Mum but she is staying for a couple of days. This evening we were all watching a DVD and DD went to sit on DH's lap. DH was cuddling her and rubbing her tummy (does the same with the dog). Mum started asking her husband (my stepdad) if that was normal behaviour - in a loud whisper - I could hear but DH and DD couldn't. She then proceeded to say something along the lines of how she couldn't bear to watch and stormed out of the room. I told DH later when the kids were in bed -he was devastated and furious. I think my Mum is actually insane - but IS IT normal for a 14 year old to cuddle her dad and sit on his lap. My own dad now deceased was a violent drunk, and we didn't have a close relationship - my Mum's dad died when she was very young so I don't think either of us can judge what is "normal". Mum is leaving in the morning and I don't see how I can ever see her again. I am also starting to doubt DH. Never did before now.

"your husband needs to be aware of appropriate touch between adult male and minor female regardless of relationship "

I can't start to describe how sad this statement makes me. And how sick and twisted some minds are. I am happy I was not born a man.

So he shouldn't be aware of the appropriateness of his physical contact with his maturing daughter?

"diddl - why should this form of touching stop? What is the reason, assuming (as we gather from the OP) that the girl is happy and comfortable with it? "

Look, if they want to carry on, fine.

I don´t think it he was "molesting her".

Cuddling & sitting on lap-fine.

Tummy rubbing-perhaps for some of us that is getting a little intimate on 14yr old?

I find it odd that neither OP nor her husband or indeed the daughter might not even have considered this to be unusual at this age.

Or maybe it´s the fact that he uses the same for of affection for his daughter as he does for dogs!

for=form

It just comes down to the individual IMO. I have twin DSDs who are nearly 13. One has always been very anti-cuddles, even with her parents, though she is cuddly with my DCs who are much younger. The other DSD has always been very tactile and cuddly with her parents, her older brother and myself.

I think it's quite sad to suggest it should stop, I'm intrigued to know whether people would say the same thing if it were a mum and a 14yo DS?

Just thinking aloud here.....

Maybe when OP says he was rubbing her tummy, as he would do the dog, she means he was just messing around and doing it because that's what he would do to the dog? In a 'jokey', rough, sort of way?

Sounds like the sort of thing my DH would do to my (older) teenage daughter, to be honest, and I in no way think she is being abused - we would all just laugh at her and she would be laughing too......

to think you can't have jokes like this within a healthy family?

Custardo - I've been called worse things than a wierdo. Maybe OP you could come back and tell me if I have a made a valid point or not. I don't mind at all if I have got it wrong.