I'm so sorry you're still stuck in this, "Worthless", even though you have at least got him to cut down on the name calling (a very minor victory in an ongoing battle, but a victory nonetheless). If you really were such a crap wife he wouldn't be so keen to stay with you, would he? He's got very nearly everything he wants, now he just needs you to give up that last bit of individual existence, that last bit of human free will, and then of course you'll be perfect - how much do you think he'll respect you then?
I've said this before, but you really need to be prepared to leave him. If he realises you can and you might, that's the only chance he will review his behaviour. At the moment he is never, never going to see your point of view. Either he can't or he won't. Your point of view includes you being entitled to have your own feelings. His point of view is that you don't, or shouldn't, if they clash with his. Please read Lundy Bancroft, in particular the parable about the boy who was brought up to believe that a piece of land belonged to him and ended up behaving in a very unhinged way because nobody else respected his right to it. It was public land and his belief was mistaken. The moral was that men who grow up with the belief that a woman belongs to them, will service them with a smile for the rest of their lives etc, have a hard time giving up on that beautiful story but they have to let go of it if they want to rejoin the real world. Your H is stuck in that fantasy, and it is in his interests to continue to believe it. He has to be shocked out of it. Or he won't, but at least you will know you don't have to put up with it if you don't want to, and that will give you leverage.
Meanwhile I really, really strongly believe he ought to be encouraged to pull his own instead of getting you down on your knees (whether literally or figuratively). In my, admittedly probably skewed, view it's at least as degrading as letting him have his full way with you, though you are absolutely right not to settle for that.