Oh no not another affair story- dire warning

[onethatgotaway]

It has been 2 days since I received this txt:

You won't like this but my guilt has become uncontrollable to the extent where I can't look my W in the eye. For the sake of my marriage this will be my last contact to you. Only other thing I can say is sorry x

I haven't slept, feel sick and full of self loathing for getting myself into this whole sorry situation which has been going on/off for 6 months. I know this is finally it now, I will never hear from him again and it is breaking my heart.

I don't want or expect sympathy, just PLEASE PLEASE even if you are remotely tempted one tiny little bit to start an affair, thinking it will just be a bit of harmless fun, it will cause you so much pain and grief you will wish you'd never laid eyes on your OM/OW and if only you could turn back the clocks etc, etc. It is NEVER worth it, it will always end in tears, invariably for everyone involved, and it will wreck your life. Things will never be the same again.

If you think that sounds fun and tempting, think again and take this as a warning.

Just want to say I'm sorry for all your pain OP. You fell in love and he fell in love and now it's over, it's going to hurt for a while but it will get better. Try not to sooth the pain by reestablishing contact with him if he does get in touch with you again or you will have this pain again further down the line.
Look forward and try to learn form the experience. Find joy in your marriage and children if you can and think of him and his family as also being happy again, it will help the guilt and pain you are feeling.

I'm sorry for all the posts that have been less than understanding, please don't take them to heart, there is alot of pain out there. My XH had an affair so I have full understanding of what it is like to find out about an OW. However I wasn't married to the OW so my dislike of her very quickly turned to forgiveness. I was married to my H who quickly turned to XH. I find it hard to understand women who blame OW for the affairs of married men. I would only blame the person who I was involved with/married to. No one intends to have an affair, learn by your mistakes and move on. Big hug xx

Onethatgotaway, you need to keep yourself busy and it will hurt initially, the pain will lessen over time though. Not here to judge unlike some who have views from both sides. Look at the good things that you have and that you have a chance to make things right at home if thats what you want, do not feel you have to tell your hubby though unless you feel thats the right route to take. 1 mistake in 20 years dosent equate to being a bad person, life isnt all black and white is it?

Another thing do not and I repeat do not contact him, it opens up the wound and puts you back to square one. If he contacts you do not reply either as it will set you back and you will be caught up again. The only way to go is to completely cut contact and keep your memories tucked away in a mental box.

My husband has never cheated. I still say this is self indulgant nonsense. The op is not "nice". Nice people don't actively and selfishly attempt to try and fuck two families over.

No axe to grind here thanks. Although it's always the same people who come out and are apologists for this kind of behaviour. Just because that's your way of thinking, dosen't mean other people should be applauded for it when the OH concerned thinks they are in a monogamous relationship.

Not nice.

Rubypink you talk a load of old garbage. Are you a councellor, as you seem to think you know so much about affairs? NOT.

One day you might be unlucky enough to find yourself as the hurt party and then find out that you cant understand why, as your relationship/marriage was good!!!