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Original poster

Help me, I lust after students all the time

89 replies

GuiltyMan · 02/02/2011 09:51

I?m not a troll, and this is a serious problem. I work at a university, and I have a problem. I?m surrounded by young attractive women all day long. I?m 29, and I?m no heavy breathing pervert. Some girls look very young straight out of school and aren't an issue, but a great many are masters students, 21,22, and I find it all so distracting. I don?t want to be that walking cliché you read about, and one hand I?m assured it?s fairly natural. I don?t want DP to know about this. What can I do here, other than change jobs?

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 02/02/2011 09:52

Tie a knot in it.

loopylou6 · 02/02/2011 09:55

Depends how much you're 'lusting' finding people attractive is normal, but it should just be a fleeting thought and you should never act on it. Truthfully, if one of these girls came on to you, would you be able to say no?

SixtyFootDoll · 02/02/2011 10:00

Rest assured these young girls prob think you are old and past it.

Original poster
GuiltyMan · 02/02/2011 10:01

Loopy, I would be able to say no, I'm not driven by lust, and agree that finding people attractive is normal, it's almost the sheer quantity.

Before I worked in a company where I might see one or two attractive people per day, walking around campus I might see 20 by the time I get to the shop.

OP posts:
Original poster
GuiltyMan · 02/02/2011 10:02

SixtyFootDoll, I'm sure they do.

OP posts:
Toadinthehole · 02/02/2011 10:03

"One hand"??

Seriously: what's the problem? Unless, for example, you're leering at them and attempting to flirt - but are you doing that?

loopylou6 · 02/02/2011 10:03

Well I wouldn't worry then, its not your fault if there's attractive females everywhere you look Grin

MrsWentworth · 02/02/2011 10:04

Pmsl. Funnily enough, I never lusted after the twenty-one-year-old male postgraduates that I taught. If I had done, they would presumably have thought I was an old (because, yes, 30 is old when you're 20) perv. So, OP, that may be what they are thinking of you. Girls can tell when a 29 year old lecturer is lusting after them, and they will likely be taking the piss in the common room. So don't change your job, but remember that you will be the butt of ridicule if you "undress them with your eyes" (that was the phrase we used of lechy lecturers) too often.

slim22 · 02/02/2011 10:06

poor thing

ShowOfHands · 02/02/2011 10:09

You want to pop some bromide in your tea.

ZZZenAgain · 02/02/2011 10:09

women are everywhere so even if you change jobs, you'll be encountering them round about. best get a grip on it

Original poster
GuiltyMan · 02/02/2011 10:09

I'm not trying to flirt with any of these girls/women, and I'm not leering at them. They're typically girls/women I don't have any contact with, i.e. just walking about on campus while I go over the shop, or down to the library, so I'm not trying it on.

I feel guilty because of DP, and as well because of how many there are.

OP posts:
jamaisjedors · 02/02/2011 10:10

Seriously?

I'm not sure I believe this. I find it impossible to see my students as anything other than that, and it was true even when they were the same age as me.

Start concentrating on your lesson plans a bit more?

batman47555 · 02/02/2011 10:11

i get a slap on the head from my missus when i look at girls while driving, we all do it!

WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/02/2011 10:11

How do you manage when you're out in a bar or club? What happens at work? Does your dick hurt with the effort of not knobbing all the girls?

Hmm
Original poster
GuiltyMan · 02/02/2011 10:11

I definitely need to get a grip (I'm not saying "on it" because that's terrible innuendo). I know girls are everywhere, but it feels a bit like being in the remake of the St Trinians which Girls Aloud were in.

OP posts:
WimpleOfTheBallet · 02/02/2011 10:13

No it doesn't feel like StTrinians OP...tese are not girls dressed up in stockings and hats! What a crock!

ZZZenAgain · 02/02/2011 10:13

lol, I thought that too when I saw what I had typed!

Toadinthehole · 02/02/2011 10:13

So the problem (as you see it) is not that they might see you as a lech, but that you are a lech?

ZZZenAgain · 02/02/2011 10:14

it is true that there is a certain atmosphere there in a pupil-teacher relationship between adults IME it is a bit different to just passing people in the street, sitting in a restaurant with colleagues etc , so in a way I see what you mean.

SeaShellsDreamingOfSummer · 02/02/2011 10:15

Two options: sleep with students. As one guy I know does and his job and partnership are on the line and people think he is a twat
Or: realise they think you are ancient and a bit of a joke, grow up and do a good job, or get out of academia.

This isn't really a choice is it? Biscuit

Original poster
GuiltyMan · 02/02/2011 10:17

Toad, I think I've got a fairly normal level of attraction to women, and working in a normal office as I did before. Please be assured, I'm not trying to "knob all the girls here".

I agree with Batman it's fairly normal, it's the frequency that's the problem

Wimple, have you seen what students wear to university these days?

OP posts:
Lizzabadger · 02/02/2011 10:19

I think the novelty will wear off.

Don't act on it. People really talk in academia.

slim22 · 02/02/2011 10:20

Not that I want to encourage this but I did have many crushes on my tutors at uni....which all remained pure fantasy