What do women really think of this?

[MakeYerOwnDamnDinner]

I was reading the thread about blowjobs last night and was interested to read womens horrified reactions to the idea of a man ejaculating on a womans face.

Even some mumsnetters who are quite open about their own slightly kinky sexual preferences seemed to feel that this was beyond the pale.

From what I understand it is an extremely common male desire/fantasy.

I'm not judging anyones opinion, I'd just like to open a discussion about why it's deemed to be so much "worse" than a man ejaculating in a womans mouth, or anywhere else for that matter.

Apologies if it's a little early in the day/week. But I would like to know what other womens honest opinions are on this matter.

It's very good for your skin.

and massivly high in calories so better on the face than forever on the hips i guess

But sexual pleasure isn't gender politics, is it? We are talking about pleasure, after all, not rape or coercion - about which I also have strong views.

There are women who are very submissive sexually, and men who are very dominant. They both get a lot of pleasure from it. Are they not allowed to be like that because it doesn't 'fit' a political ideal. I find that a bit frightening and on a par with fundamentalist Christians or whatever religion, trying to tell people how to behave sexually.

And it still doesn't get round the fact that gay men have these issues too.

A moment on the lips instead of a lifetime on the hips...

so from a male point of view
shooting a load is good way to burn off some calories?????

You know batman... I have no issue with men posting here, not at all - but you popping up on every sex thread is starting to get on my tits. And not in a good way.

Do you post on any other threads?

i browse them but have little to offer!

If you are uncomfortable with engaging in a particular sexual act because of your political viewpoint then fine, that's as valid a reason as any other for not engaging in a sexual act. However, it's not on to insist that other women who do like the act and engage in it are antifeminist for that reason.

I agree with SGB, as I usually do

I would consider myself a very definite feminist - but I think as long as it's all consensual, any sexual act between adults bears no relevance to that. Sometimes he's dominant, sometimes I am. And quite often I ask him to come all over my face so that I can feel like a dirty slut. It's fun, innit?

"The mechanics of sexual intercourse (apart from when the woman is on top or otherwise in control) between most mammals including humans is of course based on male domination".

I have to disagree with you there, being on top doesn't mean you are in a position (or in a mental state) of control Far from it in fact, in my case anyway.

yes i have a friend who would entirely disagree with the on top=dominant having had a horrible experience. She also feels its very exposing.

I think it's very exposing too, thankfully for nice reasons not horrible ones.

That's not really what I'm saying SGB. I'm talking from a purely personal viewpoint when I say I feel conflicted. I wouldn't dream of telling another woman how she should behave or feel.

I also believe that consenting adults can do what they like with each other. Who the hell would I be to police other peoples sex lives?

I'm just trying to explore my own feelings around the issue by asking other people for their opinions and working through my own.

Personally it does nothing for me, but I do love bumming so, go figure...

'bumming' madonnawhore

Fair enough MYDD, wasn't actually directing that specifically at you (but have known in the past people who could go up their own arses about accusing each other of 'antifeminism' for things like wearing nail varnish or worrying about their weight, to the point that rowing about this sort of thing got in the way of more pressing issues like fundraising for the refuge or whatever).
Nothing wrong with exploring your own feelings. It might be something that you simply don't fancy, or it might be something that you woulnd;t want to engage in with one particular man because you have a sneaking suspicion that he in particular is using it in some sort of 'put her in her place/mark my territory' fashion, whereas you might not feel the same way about it with a different man.
Bumsex, for instance: if you've got a bloke who's keen on that then smetimes it might be because he is in the closet and wants to imagine you're a boy, or it might be that he likes anal because it's 'dirty and taboo' - or because the physical sensation appeals to him. All depends on the man.

Bumming, i just cant get past the pain.

Christ don't people just have fun any more?

I do like it, that's the thing. I also enjoy rough sex, anal sex, and other things that might be considered disrespectful to women by some.

Outside of the bedroom though, I feel slightly guilty for enjoying these things. Not in a catholic kind of way, but because I worry that they perpetuate male sexual attitudes towards women that are demeaning.

And I also find myself questioning why men enjoy these things so much. There is no doubt in my mind that it is a turn on for some men to see a woman subjugated. And I'm not 100% comfortable with that.

I guess I'm not 100% comfortable with my sexuality

Thank god for the anonymity of mumsnet eh?

MYODD: Are you in a good relationship at the moment, or single/dating? If the former then it might be easier to set aside any residiual unease if you consider that your DH/DP is a Good Chap in all other ways, and that you feel sure that he doesn;t intend to demean you and that sex is basically playtime. Lots of people like to play at being something they are not, sexually an in other ways.
I think TBH that while sex is very important, the specific acts that consenting adults enjoy do not and should not have any effect on other adults and therefore there shouldn't be any need to refrain from them.

OK, I understand this is about your feelings and not a general rule.

For me, SGB has it. It depends on the man and your relationship to him.

I,for one, would love to explore the more submissive side of my sexuality, but I would never do it with my DH. I would really have to respect my partner, and know that I trusted him and he trusted me and that we could be completely honest with each other, which doesn't describe my marriage .

Once you've lost respect for a man, I think it's hard to take the 'submissive' role sexually.

I regard someone ejaculating in my face as equivalent to someone spitting in my face. I find it degrading and for that reason I don't do it. I think throwing anything into someone's face has connotations of aggression/humiliation so it really isn't my cup of tea, although I obviously don't think there's anything wrong with it at all if the person on the receiving end has a different take on it.

Personally I think that "why do you like ejaculating in your DP's/DW's face?" would be a more interesting question.

I'm single and have just started dating again. Which is kind of why this issue has come up for me I guess. There are a few new potential sexual partners on the horizon, and having engaged in a few erm... 'intimate' conversations with people, I can see just how much more common this desire is among men since when I was last single.