Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

What do women really think of this?

125 replies

MakeYerOwnDamnDinner · 27/01/2011 11:31

I was reading the thread about blowjobs last night and was interested to read womens horrified reactions to the idea of a man ejaculating on a womans face.

Even some mumsnetters who are quite open about their own slightly kinky sexual preferences seemed to feel that this was beyond the pale.

From what I understand it is an extremely common male desire/fantasy.

I'm not judging anyones opinion, I'd just like to open a discussion about why it's deemed to be so much "worse" than a man ejaculating in a womans mouth, or anywhere else for that matter.

Apologies if it's a little early in the day/week. But I would like to know what other womens honest opinions are on this matter.

OP posts:

Malificence · 27/01/2011 12:20

"It is actually less physically pleasurable for a man to pull out at the last minute, and so to do that specifically in order to ejaculate on a womans face seems to me to be very much a territorial/dominance thing".

I think that's why I don't get it , DH wouldn't want to stop and pull out of my body because it would spoil the physical sensations too much and he gets off on my physical responses, so it must be all about the mental image/psychological aspect.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 12:23

Dh and I do this sometimes, face/boobs/neck. The main reason he pulls out is that is contraception, I know lots say unreliable but has worked so far for 7 years. I am fine with it, don't get turned on by it as such, but by then I have had my pleasure and it's about dh.

But I know what you mean op. Am I really, truely fine with it? It seems a bit porn film, and deep down (god, pun central) I think perhaps it's just a little too disrespectful, if I really analyse it.

Dh and I have a great marriage/sexlife and he would never do anything I didn't like, but I have said i like it, and now i don't know if that's the truth

Butterbur · 27/01/2011 12:23

Sperm oil, Wukter, which is nothing to do with sperm, but is extracted from the fat of a sperm whale. (Thank you Wikipedia).

BertieBotts · 27/01/2011 12:23

And hitting someone, or scratching or biting or whipping or whatever, would be considered assault if it happened deliberately outside of consensual sex. Causing someone pain is disrespectful. Yet it's still acceptable as part of a consensual sexual relationship, because as long as you aren't coerced into it, you trust your partner to respect your desires. Or something - I don't know if I'm explaining very well.

wukter · 27/01/2011 12:24

yes to the pull oput thing. (Remembers teenage years of hearing about guys promising to pull out, but 'not being able to')

wukter · 27/01/2011 12:25

Thanks Butterbur.

Original poster

MakeYerOwnDamnDinner · 27/01/2011 12:26

Ah well you're allowed to change your mind perfumedlife.

You could try discussing how you feel about it now with him. I'm sure he wouldn't want to be doing it if he thought you were unsure.

OP posts:

pascoe28 · 27/01/2011 12:28

It is a very dominant act - something akin to marking one's territory.

Is it wrong to like the idea of some poor feminist feeling conflicted over this?

I think this may be due to sex being an essentially male dominant/female submissive act, unless intentionally subverted to suit other desires/needs.

The vast majority of supposedly alpha-females I have ever slept with loved nothing more than ditching that persona and being very submissive in the bedroom. Just as dominant men/leaders etc are renowned for enjoying submission in their sex lives.

ginnny · 27/01/2011 12:30

I've heard its good for your skin
After reading the thread the other day I asked DP about the whole spit or swallow thing and his take on it was that when a woman spits it makes the man feel like its something disgusting, which kind of spoils the whole thing for him and makes him feel like she didn't really want to do it.

JustForThisOne · 27/01/2011 12:32

ah... did not think you where referring to "pulling out from intercourse to come on face"...is it common behaviour?
The the only reason I can think of why a man would pull is because not other mean of contraception involved?
and yes I would find it strange if it was an habit

I like it if I have the thingy in my own hands and mouth (easier to avoid the eyes) but sometime it has happen for partner to masturbate and on breast, nice feeling the warmth of it all (good for skin too and less expensive than clarens firming oil)

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 12:32

Thanks op, I think in my subconscious it's my way of avoiding the whole 'swallow' thing. Couldn't if my life depended on it

It's not something I have thought much about until now, and am still ambivalent. I think I feel I should dislike it on a woman's principle, and yet I don't really relate it to my life outside the bedroom. Dh is the most wonderful husband and utterly devoted to my happiness.

I wonder if I also am conditioned by porn, that I don't even watch.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 12:35

I think you have a point pascoe. It is a relaxing of roles in bed. I definately am the more dominent character out of dh and I, it is nice to take the submissive role sometimes in bed.

We don't do it often enough for it to really have been something to wonder about.

JustForThisOne · 27/01/2011 12:36

perfumedlife I dont think I am prudish but I have never watched porn
in fact I think I have experience most sexual games even before I knew there was such a think of porn around

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 12:39

I didn't mean to imply you had JustForThisOne, sorry if it came across like that

I agree, I was doing thing that I just learned on the swallow thread had all sorts of wierd, out there terms, strangly chuffed, I thought I'd dreamt them up

coldtits · 27/01/2011 12:39

In the middle of a blowjob (and I understand that this is not always the case), I am the one in control. His dick is in my mouth, where all my teeth are .... nothing happens if I don't want it to.

BelleBelicious · 27/01/2011 12:42

Pascoe - I agree. An awful lot of sex is about dominance and submission. It's mostly about being penetrated after all. I don't think it's helpful bringing feminism into it - because gay men and women have the same issues.

You can play with it, and turn it round the other way or just enjoy it. It's the bedroom (or kitchen) and it's meant to be fun not politics.

Am interested in the dominant women/men liking being submissive sex theory. I wonder how you'd research that? It's true in my experience - the two really alpha-type males I've had relationships with loved being dominated.

Or maybe they were just tired from all that shouting and running about and were glad of a bit of a rest?

carmenelectra · 27/01/2011 12:44

Ephiny, It is pleasurable to me because if something turns my dp on then it turns me on. I do actually enjoy it!

I dont understand the poster that said it HURTS if it goes on your face? How?! Unless he is aiming it from a mile off.

I see why some people might think it disrespectful, i guess. Even though I don't. My dp doesn't pull out from sex to do it. It is done as a separate act altogether. If I was with a new man and he pulled out from vaginal sex just to shoot on my face then I might see that as disrespectful. However, as an ending from oral sex with a long term partner, not in the least.

Snuppeline · 27/01/2011 12:46

I don't like the face as I'm afraid of getting it in my eyes/hair and also find it slightly disrespectful. However, I used to like swallowing and am quite happy to receive sperm on tummy/breasts/back/vulva. TMI but my dp has an enormous amount of sperm and the few times I've tried swallowing I've choked so I no longer do that. Other partners I've had have had a lot more palatable (pun intended!) amounts and so that has been fine. I've not discussed this with dp who's a very visual and "dirty" sexual person so I am sure he misses the whole swallowing thing. Can't do it though. Its like a sperm whale coming. Or a horse. Seriously. Very good for you though with all those proteins. In fact I've heard something (urban legend I'm sure) about 1 serving of sperm is 1/3 of a ladies entire protein intake.

wukter · 27/01/2011 12:50

nikki1978 · 27/01/2011 12:59

Nothing to do with feminism in my book. If both parties enjoy something then it is fine. If one person is forcign something on the other be that man to woman or vice versa then it is wrong but that is obvious. DH likes it when I sit on his face for oral and squirt as I tend to do the female ejaculation thing. I don't like him to come on my face though as I don't like the feeling or the smell.

Being a feminist is all well and good but it seems like everything is against our 'feminist principles' on MN nowadays. Does everyone have to be so serious all the time? Lighten up people

Malificence · 27/01/2011 13:01

Aren't other peoples sex lives fascinating.

I don't think anything is disrespectful if both partners are consenting and enjoying it.

I wouldn't mind it if DH wanted to try this, though I'd be very surprised if he did, but then your sex life does evolve over the years, it would be very boring if it didn't.

perfumedlife · 27/01/2011 13:07

Your right girls, some things just don't require such deep thought. How hard is it to avoid innuendo on these threads?

pascoe28 · 27/01/2011 13:11

BelleBelicious - yes, I think a change is as good as a rest in most things!

By all accounts, Maggie Thatcher was the traditional junior housewife to her husband's more old-fashioned 'man is in charge' husband - yet the roles were clearly reversed politically/in public!

coldtits - yes, i take the point about relative roles when it comes to a blowjob etc...but then who is the one getting pleasured? And besides, it's kinda begging the question to point out that you could cause some damage with your teeth - sex is meant to be pleasurable so such thoughts don't even come into it, surely?

msboogie · 27/01/2011 13:12

I was surprised at how horrified some otherwise apparently saucy MNers were. There is, in theory at least, a demeaning/sexist aspect to it, but so is there to going down on your knees for a man.

I agree that no one should ever do anything they don't want to do but I don't think you can ever entirely escape the inherent male dominance/female submission aspect of sex - purely because we are animals, just apes with big brains with a thin veneer of civilisatation covering our animal instincts (most of us at least - some don't even have the veneer).

Butterbur · 27/01/2011 13:15

Pascoe, I think giving pleasure is a very dominant position to be in. You can give, withhold, torment, and finally allow to finish.

I love power games in sex.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread