The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The New Year Wine Offers!

[Mouseface]

Hello all.

We are the Brave Babes. We're on the Battle Bus, travelling around sobriety and going day by day, hour by hour, through the detox hell of not drinking, cutting down or sometimes even not.

Come say hi. We won't bite.

No doubt one of us has been where you are now......

It's fine. No judging, no nasty jibes, just us, the BBs.

Come meet the others..................

evening ladies!!

please indulge me!. i want to have a 'ponder'!

something has been bothering me all weekend, its this icon - now, i really dont want to become some sort of 'born-again, moral high-grounding evangelical bore' , BUT, it seems to me that we have whole generations of women who are sleep walking towards a drink problem - i see soooo many threads where a drink is spoken of as the answer to all ills and its beginning to worry me - we didnt all start off drinking whiskey from a bottle in a brown paper bag at 8 in the morning, it began so quietly, a glass at a time once the kids were in bed, because we 'deserved' it, it escalated slowly over time till we were in danger of losing what we were working for.

todays style mag in teh times has an article about 'chardonnay queens', not an expression i have ever heard before, its women with good lifestyles, nice homes and families but are too pissed to drive the kids on the afternoon school run - how on earth do we cchange this attitude? can we change this attitude?, if we dont do something we will have thousands of children bought up where the mothers alcholism is the norm! - it is a societal problem, has anyone bought an adult birthday card recently?, i have and it really made me think, i would say about 90% of the 'funny' ones where related to alcohol and being drunk, not something i ever noticed or thought about before -

please dont think ive become this old misery who advocates abolision, im just concerned that it we are ignoring a growing problem!

anyway, enough of my ponderings!, i dont want to drive everyone away , just consider them the ramblings of mad woman!

JWN I wrote about this the other day, I think the icon is a bit shocking.

You are so not a mad woman.

I think too much of it, gets thought of as "a laugh", this is the only thread that I have ever been on, but I know that everyone here doesn't think that drinking too much is the ok thing to do.

You are the inspiration babe

have to agree with you JWN - loads of threads about "just have a drink/glass of wine" and it is very much the norm. Tried to buy an 18th birthday card for my niece recently, and they were ALL alcohol related.
My mother would never have dreamed of opening a bottle of wine to "unwind" or to sip while cooking dinner, but it's pretty much usual among the women I know. Sadly for most of them, they don't know about Gerald - who will save them?

JWN - it is the culture of today is it not?

It's the norm isn't it?

That's what the weekend used to be for, to relax, unwind, have a few drinks etc.

Now, it's a case of 'when is drink O'clock?'

I've said it myself. Every single day.

I'm undecided about it. I used it last night on a few threads.

And to add - it seems to be so accepted. Drinking I mean.

There has been an increase in drinking threads of late, maybe due to Christmas/NY??

I just think that the more 'Relationship' threads I read, the more alcohol plays a key role.

It's really quite

JWN Mouse

I have had exactly the same thoughts, there are so many threads where having a glass of wine was the answer given. And to begin with I felt jelaous that other people had that option, and no longer have! I am beginning to see it as very limiting, if your only way to cope is to drink.

I have also noticed that so many of the relationship threads are about drink causing problems, but did wonder whether it was me honing in on that particular facet of the threads, a bit like buying a new car, and all of a sudden you see thousands of them on the road

Night all

All clean and shiney, and ready for next week.
Can't believe I have been sober for 11 weeks on Wednesday!!

Love to all

Bafana

Bafana - 11 weeks already?! Wow, that has flown past. WELL DONE YOU!!

No, not honing in on it, seeing the posters/threads/comments for what they are; drink fuelled.

That is such an underlying theme with life these days.

Mr JK on ITV has most traffic where drink/drug abuse is concerned. But I wonder how many people on here think they're not like that.

Even though they are on paper?

They drink to access, they argue with their spouse/partner.

They wake up after blacking out.

They wake up not remembering violence.

They wake up in strange places, with strange men/women.

They wake up and cry.

It's just not worth it.

And on that note, I'm off to bed.

Night all xxxxxxxxx

Hi babes,

I'm still here, sorry haven't been posting been so busy the last few days.

Still sober and doing OK.

Hope everyone has a peaceful nights sleep - some of you sound like you need it!

xx

JWN

Read the article in The Times today too. None of it surprised me, apart from the term 'Chardonnay Queens'! Never heard that before.

I have drunk too much tonight and last night. Last night I had 3 glasses of wine, tonight a bottle and a half. Here we go again...

My partner lost his job in October and has taken a delivery job in the evenings (he is trying hard to get work and was promised hours somewhere but they haven't materialised) so I am working all week 9-5 and getting home to do the kids. We are still paying for nursery in case he gets something and so he can job hunt.

I have no excuse. I did well this week - didn't drink from Monday til Saturday, but just could not maintain it.

I have to go to work tomorrow.

FUCK THIS.

Sorry, I sound like a cow. When I say 'do' the kids, he leaves when I get home and it just feels relentless.

Ma - no, a cab is so not going do it with that distance. I hope you get something worked out.

I know I don't know you so apologies if this is cheeky but DH has depression issues too and I know how bloody horrible it can be. When dh was at his worst I couldn't do right for doing wrong.

Hoping that tomorrow will be better for you.

jwn you are so right that on MN - and certainly in my profession -but also among my school, university, church friends on FB, - a glass of wine is seen as the solution to any sort of stress or celebration. That's certainly how I started, although I do think there was something in me that meant I could never stay like that, and was ultimately to slide into alcoholism, and maybe most of these people don't have that.

I'm having to click away from threads that are big on offering that option, for my sobriety so I don't get the temptation that (was it thurso just said about) of wishing that it was an option for me. They say that in women the slide from social drinking to alcoholism is far faster than in men and that was certainly true for me and several of the ladies I have met these last few weeks in AA.

I don't know that there is anything to be done without coming across as a bit extremist though! I think Mouse's lovely titles need to keep being as crystal clear as they are so that people who need to can find us.

DD has a cough again, I think we managed a whole fortnight without it, and has been up since 5:15, and I am tired. Craving quite a bit, be good to be at the meeting today and feel safer again. I feel dead guilty but I will be so glad to drop DD off this morning, her behaviour hasn't been her fault this weekend but I am so worn out by it.

Have a safe and sober day BBs, will catch up later. xx

And, Bafana, wow, well done you. I bet you feel so amazingly better and stronger. I remember when you stopped and went to AA - if only I'd stayed bloody stopped... still, just for today, I am doing ok, and I think you are amazing!

Where is everybody?? I'm off out to AA. Ridiculously early but not feeling too good in myself today so going to go for a windy walk en route to the bus.

Mouse how is day 1 of building work? Is Nemo intrigued? Are you coping?

Well done Bafana on 11 weeks.

Hi everyone.

Hope you have a good meeting Noteven

morning all. am not in work - I phoned in sick. I lied. DH has my car. His is in the garage. Spent the night awake worrying about money.Mssoul - relentless is the word. I am so sick of working all hours to have nothing but money worries and a house falling down round my ears. I can't do it any more. I don't care any more.
DS is off school too - he claims he is sick but he isn't. i just haven't the energy to argue, cajole, threatend etc. pathetic I know, but I can't be everything to everyone any more, I have nothign left to give.
My lovely boss has just texted saying "poor you, take care of yourself " and I feel such a shit as I'm not ill. I'm in bed because its warmer and I don't have to put the heating on and I can't be bothered getting up.
Sorry - bit of a pity party going on here...

Morning All you wonderful people.
NOTEVEN Wow you have come such a long way, in such a short period of time. So proud of you!

Pleased to be at work this morning, although not thrilled to wake up to snow!!

Another weekend done, and although there were some issues to do with exp and exmil, on the whole I had a really nice time. Spent some lovely time cooking with DS and he made our tea on Saturday night - lasagne and a fruit sponge (very delicious).

Last night a very good friend got very drunk, and tbh it really was eye opening (again ) to see what a bloody pain in the bum drunk people can be!! A wee reminder why I no longer drink.

Each day gets easier to stay sober, I really really LOVE my life right now, and that is in the middle of a horrible messy separation!! I think that I have managed to find the real me again.

And finally, can anyone point me in the right direction of London AA meets near Paddington, Euston and Waterloo on Thursday and Friday.

Keep well all
Love to all
Bafana

dementedma poor you. I think you need to get up and have a shower. Stick the heating on. Dry your hair, put some make up on. Take ds out somewhere? How old is he?

DS is 9. I haven't got a car, can't afford the bus and it's snowing! I'm staying put.
At least I'm not drinking.......

demented I agree with Cristiane, GET UP, get showered, put on some cheery music.
Lying in bed with a dose of the "poor me's" is not helping the situation any better, and is certainly not doing your mental health any good.

Have you got some craft stuff you can do with DS, can you bake something, or jut dance round the lounge like loons for 10 minutes.

FORCE yourself out of bed, and then pretend to be happy, you might even feel better for it, and if you don't have you lost anything???

Snowing here too are you in edinburgh?

Are you up yet, hope you aren't feeling too bad still.

morning all!! glad to see you dont all think im a mad old misery! (well, not to my face anyway! )

ma!, bafana is right!, get up and get washed and dressed and do something with your day, even if you just blitz the kitchen or something - i know i always feel better if i can look back on having achieved something useful with the day!

im not at work today so im blitzing this house - then this evening i have the womens aa meeting here (a bloody good reason to get the duster out! ), i want to make some cakes and some sausage rolls and a quiche, sounds pretty mundane i know, but i know i will feel very satisfied when its all done!

see you in bit, off to put some washing in!

I'm here, just. My house is being torn apart.

Keeping me busy clearing up.

Poor Nemo has nowhere to nap so is going to have to sleep on me.

There is so much noise and mess.

Sorry to ignore all posts, will catch up latre. xx

ah mouse!, try and take the long view!, it will be worth it in the end!

mouse it's horrible at the time isn't it - I really don't envy you! Just keep focused on the outcome at the end.

Hope that it doesn't send you round the bend!