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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Past The New Year Wine Offers!

1000 replies

Mouseface · 21/01/2011 22:19

Hello all.

We are the Brave Babes. We're on the Battle Bus, travelling around sobriety and going day by day, hour by hour, through the detox hell of not drinking, cutting down or sometimes even not.

Come say hi. We won't bite. Grin

No doubt one of us has been where you are now......

It's fine. No judging, no nasty jibes, just us, the BBs.

Come meet the others..................

OP posts:
thursomuchtolookforwardto · 27/01/2011 12:43

Sorry Milflaw, my fault, I was just musing that ever since I read some of your previous posts, I have an image in my head of a young man, wandering through snowy streets in the early hours.
Don't be scared Grin, sorry if it was too personal [mouth zipped icon].

LADYBOAK · 27/01/2011 12:51

Did anyone try Kudzu to help stop drinking ? I have just got my allen carr's book and will start reading tonight. Day 2 is going well so far, I have slept badly and I'm a bit tired but it is not blurry or foggie which is a great thing however I'm waiting for the nasty withdrawal symptoms kicking anytime soon Sad

MIFLAW · 27/01/2011 13:02

A heavy drinker is someone who drinks a lot.

I was actually being polite and saying problem drinker when I meant alcoholic, but I would say that both of those mean someone who HAS to drink a lot.

Example - when I was 22 I was in a distance relationship. We both drank massivley, even more so when we were together - even then we would easily manage more than a bottle of wine each per night, plus i would often have a couple of pints during the day. I think that we both therefore drank a lot and were heavy drinkers.

Anyway, we split up, not over the drinking per se (at least, we didn't think so at the time ...) but we clearly weren't happy and wanted different things. She got a very high-powered career (which she still has) and, while she didn't stop drinking, she didn't let it get in the way of excelling at that career. In other words, she drank less, and she put it second to the rest of her life.

I put drinking first and fucked my life up royal, to the extent that, as an Oxford graduate who had been destined for an academic teaching and research career, I moved back in with my mum and struggled to hold down a job as a shelf-stacker.

It turned out that I wasn't just a heavy drinker; I was a problem drinker too.

Now this doesn't mean that alcoholics can't succeed in business or the professions. Many do, not least because they tend to be driven to succeed because they often have something to prove. What it does mean is that drink will always come first - if they're not sacrificing work, you can bet they're sacrificing something else, quite often the feelings and safety of those who love or depend on them.

It's akin to the difference between a small eater and an anorexic, a social drug user and a coke addict - when it comes to the crunch, can they change, or will they stick to what they know and damn the consequences?

MIFLAW · 27/01/2011 13:05

LADY

Kudzu addrssses physical symptoms.

"I'm waiting for the nasty withdrawal symptoms kicking anytime soon" - don't bother, you've got them already. And they will soon pass.

You have a mental issue, which tells you that drinking is a good idea when it patently isn't, and neither kudzu nor anything else is going to fix that. AA helps some (like me); CBT others; knitting still others.

LADYBOAK · 27/01/2011 13:29

I'm feeling weid and slightly headachy, hopefully that will just be it, thank you Miflaw for your help and the help you gave me over the past few years.

LADYBOAK · 27/01/2011 13:34

Miflaw - Just another question reg withdrawal symptoms, so I have stop cold turquey and I do experience mild withdrawal symptoms, can it actually get worst from now on ? I have heard about seizure, shaky feelings, heart pounding bu didnt experience any of that. Thank you !

MIFLAW · 27/01/2011 14:23

LADY

Over the past few years? I wasn't even aware - I mainly post here to help me! But really glad it's been of use to you.

Withdrawal is a very unpredictable beast and you should not be compalcent about it.

However, if I have understood you right, you were drinking about a bottle of wine a day, most days (please be honest if this is not true.) On this basis, and based purely on my experience and that of people I know - because i'm no doctor - I would be surprised if your withdrawal went beyond: night sweats; constipation and/or "loose bowels"; nausea; insomnia, probably with nightmares when you do sleep; lethargy; loss of appetite; such appetite as you do have being for empty calories and junk; dehydration; dry and/or itchy skin; headaches; nervousness/delayed reactions/speeded up reactions; mild shakes, especially in the hands; bad breath ...

None of this is going to be fun, obviously, but it's not life-threatening either and it will soon pass. Stuff like seizures, fits and so on tend to be more associated with much heavier drinking (think a pint of spirits or more a day.)

lucilastic · 27/01/2011 14:36

It's day 4 for me. No physical withdrawal symptoms (and I can easily put away 2 bottles of wine on a weekend throughout the day, both days) but plenty of cravings. The worst is in the early evening. It seems to ease around 9pm.
I've been taking Nytol one a night (Tesco's version) and I have slept so well.
Tomorrow will be the big test...the start of the weekend, kicking off with a large glass of wine at 6pm when DP gets in from work.
Am not thinking about it yet.
I have managed controlled drinking for periods of time and my brain is my alcoholic brain is trying to persuade me it's possible.
It's not, is it? And even if it were, I don't want controlled drinking. I want to feel pissed but not act it.
Sigh...

IsinDeBetterPlace · 27/01/2011 14:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rubyredlips · 27/01/2011 14:59

Hi all

Just spent an age getting up to date on the messages. There seems to have been loads going on.

Hope you can make it to your AA meeting this evening Noteven and that your stomach is feeling less queasy.

Hi to all the new or returning people to the bus who I've not met yet.

I'm doing ok still keeping off the booze, eating healthily and even did some exercise this week. Lost a bit of weight so definitely on the right path.

lucilastic · 27/01/2011 15:01

I believe my problem is very much a mental one too Isinde. If I don't tackle it I'll only replace alcohol with another addiction.
Having an ok afternoon. Have got a cheerful 2 yr old with me at the moment. Her big sister is at nursery. Not looking forward to going out in the cold later. It is bitterly cold here in London today.

jesuswhatnext · 27/01/2011 15:01

i was drinking at least a bottle of wine a day (more on a good day!) Blush, it wasnt nice for a few days when i gave up, if i remember correctly is was at about day 9 that i really started to feel better - it was almost like having a rotten cold but no worse!

MIFLAW · 27/01/2011 15:04

Also re withdrawal, if it sounds bad, maybe I should just have said it's like mild flu. It's not fun but it's not that bad either.

What makes it bad - and what you need to focus on - is the voice in your head that starts saying, "you do know a drink would fix this, don't you?"

LADYBOAK · 27/01/2011 15:17

I was on 1 bottle a night mixed with sparkling water every night with 1 or 2 days off once every couple of weeks.

2 years ago I have used to drink 2-3 bottles a night Blush, stopped for 1 month completely then yes I tought I'll reward myself and went back to sqaure one only I drink less and not at daytime.

It feels so bad to see it all written Sad

dementedma · 27/01/2011 15:26

bottle a night here too Lady - or was. At the moment still on about two bottles a week, but getting there, I think!

MIFLAW · 27/01/2011 15:34

LADY

Do yourself a favour - forget all the distinctions about whether it was daytime or nighttime, with water or neat or sharpened up with gin.

When you are drinking a bottle of wine a day you are drinking a lot.

And if you think it's too much but you do it anyway then it's also a problem and will send you mad.

The rest is just social convention - and, by drinking beyond social convention, you make it quite simply irrelevant.

venusandmarzipan · 27/01/2011 17:50

How is everyone doing at this time of the evening? Drinking something nice and refreshing anc clean, or having a nice warming mug of bovril?

I have had such a great day - got through a load of outstanding work and had a really lovely work meeting this afternoon. Isn't it wonderful when a day goes like that. I am happy Smile

LADYBOAK · 27/01/2011 18:20

I'm doing okish, had a nasty headache about 1 hour ago, feeling shacky, I'm drinking a lots of water and I'm having an early dinner !

I'm ashamed to say that I have been a shouty mum.

Great for you Venus ! Hopefully will feel the same later !

Rubyredlips · 27/01/2011 18:20

Hi Venus Glad you had a good day and you're happy Smile.

I'm just drinking hot water and lemon and watching kids tv.

Have you got any plans for tonight?

MIFLAW · 27/01/2011 18:21

LADY

Those are all the right things - stay with it.

Rubyredlips · 27/01/2011 18:24

Hi Lady sounds like you're doing well Smile. Good for you. Don't worry about the shouty part - that will pass.

TheNextChapter · 27/01/2011 18:27

Hi Ladies,

Well I'm feeling thoroughly sorry for myself. Really shattered right now and still have work to do tonight. Am having a break til half 7 then will crack on. Only going to work til 9 then will call it a day.

I'd love to say that in the mornings I am leaping out of bed and can't wait to start the day but to be honest its still a struggle, although far better sober than hungover. Having to get up really early at the mo as have a long drive to get to work therefore am looking forward to Sat morning lie in. I must say the current early starts are probably helping me lay off the booze at the moment. Still have to get through the weekend and girls night out tomorrow though.

Venus, glad you are having a good day!!

LADYBOAK · 27/01/2011 18:28

The thing is I dont necessarly craving a drink but my body is, the mind has to be stronger, I'm doing the food shopping online and what a difference, I used to be pissed all the time when I was doing it before ! I can see clear now ! Thank you for your support !

jesuswhatnext · 27/01/2011 20:18

lady! make sure you choose a few nice soft drinks in your shopping! - one of the main things i have found is that it is absolutly essential to have something nice, refreshing and cold ready to drink!

nextchapter - im not surprised you dont leap out of bed!, early mornings in the cold and the dark arnt much to leap out for really! Grin, just think though, you will have glorious spring and summer mornings to look forward to!, i can promise you that they are worth seeing sober! Grin

Mouseface · 27/01/2011 20:34

I second that JWN

My fridge has a pourable jug of lushness in it every night.

Ready to go so when wobble o'clock hits, it's easier than finding a bottle opener!

PLANNING IS KEY.

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