Do I apologise for my stalkerish behaviour or just leave it?

[poshsinglemum]

I had a huge crush on a guy last summer and when he rejected me I sent him some arsey messages about leading me on etc. (he didn't really- that much)

I know I have been totally out of line and am sorry but I really shouldn't contact him again should I?

Mabe I want to say sorry because I want to start contact and build bridges but I know this is a bad idea. I need to snap out of it but can't get my mind off him. my previous thread on this sunk I think.

If I see him again (we live in the same area) I know I should just ignore him but would love to go up and apologise for being such a twat.

it is that

The 'leading on' concept works both ways of course.

PSM's soi-disant inammorata has been accused by some here of leading her on. He may have shown interest as she says by looking at her,but people change their minds, as did my friend.

That doesn't make anyone evil, or a tease, it just makes them human.

• innamorata.

Tsk!

I agree. But he might actually have been a pricktease, or he might not, but at the end of the day, he's not pursuing her for a relationship.

And she needs to move on.

Agreed.

I think my expression has slipped due to the bottle glass of wine I've been sipping.

Sorry.

Hah. Yes, PSL isn't likely to have a prick to be teased. What's the female equivalent, I wonder?

Oh, I know

Hi again.

My last post on here. Just to clarify; I did really like him and I did want to have sex with him in the past (hence the flirting/prickteasing) butI was in a state about my ex narc and didn't want to get hurt hence my lack of puttiong out. It's fair to say I was confused. Also; he pursued me aggressively and it was quite hard to ignore him and his constant references to wanting to shag me etc. I was flattered and thought mabe I'd feel strong enough to go ahead. I wasn't.

I do want a relationship and I am upset that I can't find a decent man and yet I do love being single. It is certainly a paradox. I would prefer to be single than with any of my past lovers inc dds dad.

I'm sure that most of us have had an inappropriate crush on someone who isn't good for us. The fantasy is part of the appeal.

And also I am determined to get over him but all those of you who have ever felt strongly about someone who is bad for you and can't help it can testify it isn't that easy.
I think that fact that the relationship was never consumated makes it worse as it then becomes an aim. Albiet futiule.

this isn't helped by the fact that I am friends with his sister who keeps going on about him at every available opportunity. I am now distant from it all.

New resolution; focus on self.

Well that's lt. I still think it's ok to love being single but want a relationship too. I don't want any old relationship. I want a relatiosnhip with someone special. This man was special to me in the past (no matter how fuckwittish) and I hope to find someone special in the future when I am ready.

sorry typos

futile

And you will, I don't doubt that.

PSM, as others here are saying, you are allowed to flirt as much as you like. It's fun. A bit of fun flirting with someone who's nice puts a twinkle in your eye, a smile on your face and a spring in your step. And, of course, it may lead on to something else.

But then again it very well may not. If you choose to take it no further than flirting then that is absolutely fine. A decent bloke will accept this without question (and vice-versa, of course).

Only an utterly self-obsessed and self-entitled wanker would then accuse you of "prick-teasing".

I still think it's ok to love being single but want a relationship too.

I think that too, posh.

Like dittany said though, think very carefully about the kinds of blokes you are letting into your headspace x

This one sounds like a twat and a lucky escape for you

The fact that some men think that the price you have to pay for their attention is having sex with them is their problem, not yours.

Amen to that!

I wasn't going to rise this shit but here goes;

The second coming;
i was a single mum for ten years. I am nothing like too holy to have a crush-don't be absurd but grip the fuck up love.
you have a child,your responsibility is to provide a stable upbringing for that child,not moping round after some knobhead and constructing romantic fantasies about someone who stayed friends with someone who tried to kill you (did he actually try to kill you or is this more drama)
jesus...read your posts back,see how pathetic the whole thing sounds and thank god you haven't had any luck with match.com. if your radar for tossers is as shit as it clearly is.
what do your real life friends say-or have they stopped talking to you about your love life...that should be a hint...

secondcoming; mabe you should read YOUR posts back and think about how vicios and unsupportive they sound. I don't give a toss if you think that I am being pathetic about this man. What I do give a toss about is you more or less accusing me of neglecting MY family and home for this crush and for also accusing of making up what my ex did to me as some DRAMA. How the hell do you know?

You are clearly one of those posters who ''tells it like it is'' as an excuse to bully other posters.

And if you are so devoted to your home life why aren't you off knitting bunting instead of spitting bile on here?

write what you want. I no longer give a toss about what you have to say.

All other ladies; thanks for your support. I feel much betetr today and ready to get on with it again.

Also secondcomings post should be in Italics. I don't mind being told straight but some people thrive on spite.

Oh and by the way the second coming; I have a lovely home, dd is very happy and I have plenty of hobbies and interests ta. Moreover; my friends and i still bang on about each others love lives. I listen to them and they listen to me. Because taht's what supportive friends do.

You clearly have no sense of humour and don't suffer fools gladly. well bully for you.

I don't obsess about this person all the time but according to you this kind of thing is unacceptable. And as you are obviously no longer a single mum I expect we are no longer singing from the same hym book.

Hi Dittany; he's never accused me of being a prick tease. I just felt liek a prick tease at the time. I know this sounds crazy but I was sleeping around at the time but just not with him as I really cared about him and didn't want to get hurt. I think he was hurt by this. he didn't understand that if I slept with him and it didn't work out I would have been devastated beyond all reason whereas with the other men it wasn't such a big deal. I really liked him but in no way was I in a place for a serious relationship and believe me; with him it wouldn't have been a bit of fun. It goes deeper. We were at uni together and shared an intense summer together on our course.

I am still reeling from the secondcoming's spite tbh. I just thought I would come online to find a bit of support (as I don't rabbit on about this all day tbh) and I get that bile. I feel quite ill.

I was sleeping around with other men as I had just split up from the ex and needed to get it out of my system. I don't think I want to engae with this thread anymore as I feel that I have been ripped to shreds enough. thanks anyway.

It wasn't just sex he was after I know that. He did care and introduced me to his family, I introduced him to mine and we hung out with eachg other's friends. He made it claer that he found me attractive but also told me he wanted to take me on holiday and teach me how to ski etc.

I was just too confused to deal with it.

Hi dittany; I can see of course that it's 100% to deny sex, despite having flirted etc. I also get that it's ok to say no to sex EVEN if in the middle of the act and stop.

Thanks dittany; you brought to light a lot that I didn't even think about before and may help me resolve my feelings.