Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

tips for dealing with post date waiting to call awfullness.

126 replies

tookoolforskool · 04/01/2011 16:59

Date was yesterday, i think it went really well.

Ended up in pub for 3 hours. he asked if i wanted to stay for something to eat, but i sad i had to go ( as i did)

walked me to my car, i said it had been really nice to meet him, and he smiled and said, yes, that it had been really nice, and we should talk soon. Then he said he never knows what to say... so i gave him a hug and a pec on the cheek.

I was doing really well, going about my day, not thiking about it the whole time.

But now, im doing that keep checking my phone thing.

I did like him, i did fancy him and i would like to see him again.

So, tips are needed on staying cool and not getting into a tiss.

OP posts:
dogfish · 05/01/2011 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BooBooGlass · 05/01/2011 16:43

I think we've been sidetracked by the weight issue. Marilyn Monroe was most definately not a size 16, that is a bit of trivia that gets bandied about with no actual truth to it. She was bloody tiny.

wannabefree · 05/01/2011 16:49

Marilyn was a size 8-10 according to this link

MakeYerOwnDamnDinner · 05/01/2011 17:01

Ah ok. My mistake.

mummery · 05/01/2011 17:39

I've had the exact same experience. Size 12 seems to be a cut off point with a lot of men. Even those who don't mention it in their original profile will sometimes raise it as a topic of (MSN) conversation.

"So, what size are you...8? 10?"

Hmm
Hooker · 05/01/2011 18:00

With internet dating, I decided to 'ditch my type' and go with the flow, chat to blokes and see what happened.

I have being seeing my 'something for the weekend' for a few months now. He is shorter than I would normally go for, but he is, for now, just what I need, and may continue to be just that for a long while to come.

And to be honest, size (read height) isn't all that important when you're horizontal Wink

CeliaFate · 05/01/2011 18:09

Marilyn Monroe's measurements, according to her dresser, were 35-22-35. How depressing though, that most blokes prioritise size. I bet they have their flaws too!

MissileToe · 05/01/2011 18:33

Is there a rule? Why can't the girl text the guy? Off to read the whole thread now but this stood out from the OP!

beingsetup · 05/01/2011 18:50

well you sound lovely so its his loss?

Isn't it funny how women never obsess about blokes figures?

I bet not many could say what size men are from a glance...

dogfish · 05/01/2011 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Remotew · 05/01/2011 19:06

True Dogfish, size matters to me Grin. I've met a couple off the dating sites that are challenged in that dept! Guess that's why they use them, thinking us women are desperate.

Sorry to lower the tone.

Remotew · 05/01/2011 19:08

Meant 'Untrue'.

dogfish · 05/01/2011 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Remotew · 05/01/2011 19:30

Yeah I know what you meant just in a silly mood. I think women make judgements in other ways but also about size, I don't fancy short round men with fat fingers, for instance, and do pefer a man with a bit of height even though I'm a midget. Wouldn't be a deal breaker though.

BertieBasset · 05/01/2011 19:46

Just to add my two pence worth Grin

I met my DH on Match. I am a size 18 and 5ft9, he is 6ft2, gorgeous and a great husband and father. Oh and a successful buisinessman. He just, like me, didn't want to meet someone somewhere half cut in a bar.

I went on 15 dates before I met him over about 2 years, as I took a scattergun approach and thought of it as just fun when I first joined up. I was 25 and had been with the knobbiest man ever for the previous 4 years.

I had exactly the same attitude as you OP. I agree there is no point texting first, it never got me anywhere. I had lots of dates with men who seemed normal online/chat/phone but were REALLY not my type in the flesh. I'm sure my fat bottom put some off too, but some of them must have liked my figure as I had a few "relationships" as well as my DH.

As to not meeting someone you like who wants another date my friend put it very well to me years ago. The more attractive/personable/successful you are, the smaller the pool of people you are prepared to go out with. And who are not too intimidated by you.

I think that is what's happening - you're too fab! Grin And as for any man not wanting to date anyone over a 12 stuff 'em. You don't want to be dieting for the next 50 years do you!

Lots of luck

Ree70 · 05/01/2011 21:06

I had a date very recently from the internet, with a younger guy and he was very good looking. I'm a size 22 top and 16 waist and he classed me as curvy, not fat. I think confidence goes a long way and lots of good looking men do love a more fuller figure so don't slim unless it's for yourself.

It was our fourth attempt at meeting up as he let me down twice then I blew him out. He never used to text that often and after a two week silence he called out of the blue to arrange to meet.

I never follow 'the rules' so have text him yesterday, though we had text briefly since the date and now silence has resumed again. Though he did say he would do this as he knows how he frustrates me by not responding. I HATE waiting lol. Now I will not contact again.

I've not given up hope of seeing him again as he was the one who kept saying that we would but I am also keeping my options open to date others.

Also with the woman texting first, I did that with my previous date to this one and we ended up having a relationship so it didn't put him off.

Hope this helps!

Gay40 · 05/01/2011 21:18

I keep saying this and I'll say it again. Any bloke who is primarily interested in your dress size is not worth the bus fare to the date.
I am by no means thin, but I've been a lot bigger (like A LOT) and it has had no bearing on my opportunities, both for casual and long term relationships.
It is honestly all about confidence.

hatesponge · 05/01/2011 21:45

I totally agree, and I think actually when I was at my thinnest, and in theory most attractive, I attracted the worst men who were mostly only interested in me for what I looked like rather than who I was.

Gay40 · 05/01/2011 21:53

When I was at my thinnest, which wasn't thin btw, the only comments I got were from women saying more men would ask me out.
Great. Just what I want, being a lesbian. They were wrong, as well. The acual number of offers stayed the same.

Original poster
tookoolforskool · 09/01/2011 15:27

just wanted to update.

Had another date this afternoon.

WOW.

A quick dog walk ended up in the pub, then in another pub for something to eat.

At the end, he said he had fun and would i want to do it again, and i said yes.
and ive had a text before ive even got home.

and my god, hes very very hot.

And really lovely.

and very much ticks all the boxes.

its a good sign hes text already isnt it?

might i actually get a second date?

lol

OP posts:
BEAUTlFUL · 09/01/2011 16:50

Was this a first date with someone else? Not the man about which you started this thread?

HOORAY at a lovely date! Hooray at instant texting from yes, yes that's a very good sign. Smile This is all a lot more like it! NICE!

MakeYerOwnDamnDinner · 09/01/2011 17:08

Ah that's brilliant news! Really pleased for you.

ninah · 09/01/2011 17:15

rebuts the 'body facism' too Wink

Original poster
tookoolforskool · 09/01/2011 17:16

first date with someone else.

Who seems actually lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
tookoolforskool · 11/01/2011 13:46

just wanted to say.
second date is friday

WOOOOHOOOOO>

OP posts: