tips for dealing with post date waiting to call awfullness.

[tookoolforskool]

Date was yesterday, i think it went really well.

Ended up in pub for 3 hours. he asked if i wanted to stay for something to eat, but i sad i had to go ( as i did)

walked me to my car, i said it had been really nice to meet him, and he smiled and said, yes, that it had been really nice, and we should talk soon. Then he said he never knows what to say... so i gave him a hug and a pec on the cheek.

I was doing really well, going about my day, not thiking about it the whole time.

But now, im doing that keep checking my phone thing.

I did like him, i did fancy him and i would like to see him again.

So, tips are needed on staying cool and not getting into a tiss.

Im not ever going to be a size 10/ never going to happen.

I could get to a 12, but thats not going to happen over night.

PS I also blocked the guys who said they only wanted to meet someone 'very attractive' or 'above average' and those who stated a weight specification that their date should ideally meet (yes, there is the option to do this ). I know I wouldn't want to date someone whose primary concern was my dress size. I know absolutely that I wouldn't have anything in common with anyone who had that at the forefront of their mind while they searched for their life partner.

i agree totally.

Ive also done the same.

Ah fuck it. Ive only signed up for a month. When it runs out i shall not renew it.

Tis true - YOU feel good about yourself having slimmed right down, so therefore exude confidence and worthiness. If a person behaves as though they think well of themselves then other people will assume they are something to write home about too.

Doesn't matter if you're a 10 or 14. I'm a 14 that used to be a 22/24. The loss made me feel great! I got down to a 10 but that was hard work to maintain cos I likes me grub. I settled eventually at a 14 and am happy with that...I'm shapely AND chilled out. Men respond well to me - not because I'm beautiful (for I am not - I am pretty average in the looks department) but because I am happy and confident, look well and love curry!

just remembered once i met someone who said i was lovely, really attractive, and the whole package, but that i would have to be a size 12 at the max if he was going to date me.
And that anyone over a size 12 should be forced into celebacy.

Im not kidding.

it IS horrible waiting for the call.... but you know what, I'm with the no harm in sending a text to let him know you had a nice time. Some men are shy, or uncertain too. Obviously don't bombard him with texts, but one, following a nice evening - especially as he asked you to prolong the evening wouldn't have hurt, IMHO

Then he's a vain idiot and you're well shot!

Lemon, this guy went online, reworded his profile and added more pics, don't think the OP was wrong to go with her instincts on this one.

Tookool, glad you realise he wasn't Mr Wonderful and don't give a damn, told you it wouldn't take long.

Reminds me of the last one I met for a coffee date, I liked him very much, which is rare for me. Sat around at work waiting for a response and checked out his profile. I was convinced he had changed it after meeting me to bring down his upper age limit which I just about met. Turned out he had mentioned his age range twice. I wouldn't mind but the cheeky sod was 52 and was looking for someone 25-50!!! Then said 45! He did message me and we met again but then he disappeared. Remember feeling mortified for a short time. lol

abouteve. thats crap. what is it with these men? Seriously.

I wonder if some of them have slight misconceptions about who they might be able to meet. Its very unlikely that he would have dated a 25 year old isnt it. Unless he was hugh heffner.

What a twit.

yeah ive decided he wasnt mr wonderful at all. he told me he had been single for 3.5 years, and i did actually recognise him from another dating site a while back.
He said he was cool. ( yes he actually said that) but was wearing what appeared to be plimsoles. At the time i was willing to not be shallow and overlook this hideous crime. I was wrong, this was clearly a sign he was a muppet.

;)

The weight thing is a crock of shit. Yes you might get more interest if you're stick thin, but from shallow vain, appearance orientated men who I expect are no oil painting themselves.

I cant bear this idea that men only want thin women or that if you're over a size 14 you don't deserve to be in a relationship. Makes me v v

I should add that the one person I know who has literally a stream of men after her is at least a size 30...make of that what you will.

I think its time to go on a diet....

My most mortifying date was when I was extremely ahem merry and I didn't even remember it!

From the little I remember he was really nice but imagine my surprise when he called!!!

But (and this doesn't really have much to do with any discussion about size because different people are attracted to different body types) aren't humans just naturally appearance orientated? Aren't we biologically programmed to be attracted to those people who look the healthiest and most symmetrical, because that suggests they have good genes and would make the best breeders?

I know I care a lot about a mans appearance, and to be honest I refuse to feel bad about that. I'm not shallow at all. It isn't the be all and end all. But sexual attraction is an extremely important aspect of a relationship. If you don't have it, you're just friends.

Also sexual attraction is a base instinct. It's not politically correct, it just is. People are just attracted to what they're attracted to, no?

(waits for the rotten tomatoes.....)

who - me???

lol

I was before xmas. I will again now. But unless i sever a limb im not going to lose a stone in a week am i.

cant have been that bad if he called you can i?

hatesponge - thats the thing, i see plenty of fatter people in relationships, and plenty of un attractive people, or even people in, shock horror! plimsoles.

Sexual attraction is a base instinct, but suggesting or assuming only the thin are sexually attractive, or that they're more attractive generally speaking is clearly wrong!

Over the years I've been attracted to thin men, average size men and really quite overweight men. I don't have a specific body type I'm attracted to and I do think men (or women, but I think of this as a male thing) who do are shallow.

dogfish - how does Bridget Jones expect more than she deserves exactly?

And speaking from personal experience you can be healthy, energetic, and sexually enthusiastic if you're over a size 14. I appreciate that may shock some men people.

I think thats a bit unfair on poor Bridget tbh.

I don't agree re that point generally - I'm an Oxbridge graduate and qualified solicitor with a good job and my own home. The last guy I was interested in was an electrician (as was my Ex of 8 years), before that I went out with a former policeman. Aside from my first serious relationship, I have never been involved with a 'professional' man, nor anyone who earned significantly more than me. surely therefore I'm not setting my sights too high?

Well I can't imagine ever finding an extremely overweight man attractive and that is the brutally honest truth. It looks unhealthy.

Having said that, my main celebrity crush is Plan B (think his name is Ben Drew) and he is not a slim man. He is a little bit overweight but there's something about him and it is hot hot hot.

So it just goes to show.....

Second him Makeyourown. I don't have a type at all, not even looking for someone with a highflying career. Fallen for some right rogues in my time.

Do you know, I couldn't give a monkeys how much a man earns. As long as he is reasonably solvent and has some passion and enthusiasm for what he does.

Looks are far more important to me than money, so um... not sure what that says about me

i dont care what he does, as long as hes reasonably solvent/passion/enthuasium.

I dont even care that much for looks either, though admittley have never fancied anyone really overweight.

For me, its mush more down to chemistry/personality.

I have a very definative personality type, which has led to some right odd looking men - celebrity crushes included.. that justin hawkins from the darkness for example. A truely hideous man who id jump into bed with in a second :)

I do have a looks type that i do like, of course, but its less important.

Im a little bit temped to sick a pick up for a limted time, for you all too see.

I might be a size 14, but im active, i walk, swim, run and cross train. Im healthy, i have fantastic boobs :)

Its totally not a case of setting my sights too high, i expect the same, as what i would of myself.

But a size 14 isn't overweight. It's a perfectly normal healthy size.

Wasn't Marilyn Monroe purportedly a size 16? Nobody can say that she didn't look amazing. And what about Christina Hendricks? I'd sell my skinny little arse for a figure like that.