The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Carry On Into 2011!

[Mouseface]

Hello and a Happy New Year!

I'm Mouse, one of the passengers on this wonderful journey to sobriety!

We are a real mixed bunch of people, all trying to control or give up the booze - ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Come meet the others.........

And here are the previous threads, the journeys so far

Morning all, and thanks so much for all your lovely, lovely posts. I feel a bit that I ws all needy yesterday but I also feel very at your responses.

Last night was just fine (apart from the snow - although actually that helped because we were both bervous about getting stuck without transport home so it wasn't such a late night). isinde you are right, once she'd had a few, I don't think she particularly noticed that I wasn't drinking, or if she did, she didn't care.

She's not someone that I would want to tell mcuh to about my drinking habits. She is a great friend in many ways - salt of the earth type, would do anything for people, we've know each other (and each others' families) for years and years and years, and we have great conversations, but she has also got a big mouth, and not someone I would trust with that kind of information. Anyway, it all went fine, I was home before midnight (just) and up before 8 this morning and off to get tiles for the bathroom, and I have already make some soup.

Thanks for being around, I appreciate it so much, it helped just knowing that people would be rooting for me, especially thurso's "I will if you will" - thanks, that really helped. And also really happy to hear about other people's succesful evenings

JWN thining of you, and hoping you are feeling better

thinking - wish I was thining - need to do some of that after Christmas!

Venus you lovely lady,

do you know, I think my comment helped me just as much as you. I felt like I had a partner to lean on, and we both got through .

Don't ever feel about being needy, I come on here all the time craving reassurance.

Well guys, I feel much better now, I hope you are feeling ther same Indie (not on the right page, so have forgotten how to spell your name!). I really did feel like I had the worse hangover, but it gradually just lifted, and now I know that it isn't anything like a bad hangover .

I'm feeling pretty pleased with the amount of work that I have got through this morning. and feel inspired to keep on going until I can send it off.

So, so happy that I haven't got a hangover....not boasting, just so grateful.

Love to all.
xx

Hi all. Just checking in. Lots of positive posts on here. Lovely to read.
Glad the 'hangover' has gone Thurso. Hope yours is on it's way out Indie. Well done to Venus and Desire for abstaining. Noteven you are doing really well. I bet your house is spotless wish mine was.
It's day 6 for me today and I am feeling mightily pi**ed off. Not sure why - just feeling sorry for myself. I'm sooo boring.
Sorry, enough of the moaning.
Mouse sorry you didn't get much sleep last night. Hope date night is good.
Right better go and clean up. 'see' you all later.

Hello Brave Babes

Venus, well done on getting through the night, such a positive ending to the evening. Inspiration for us all!

Well done to everyone else who has managed to abstain. I drank last night - I knew all day I was going to, didn't even bother with the old split personality debating society in my head. Sometimes my strong will can work in the opposite direction.

However, what I am noticing is a change in my behaviour the morning after - usually I'd think 'oh well, I had a drink last night, it's Saturday tonight, may as well do it again' but today I woke up and thought 'urgh, well that wasn't worth it, definitely not repeating that tonight'

So, I'm not going to get too cross with myself - I can and will turn the situation around and today I will not be drinking.

Hello.

Can I join you please?

I've tried to stop drinking many times before now with little success, my resolve seems to vanish after a few days. Why is that? and do you have any hints and tips to keep me on the right path?

I once got as far as standing outside an AA meeting, but found myself utterly paralysed and couldn't force myself to go in, so I'm not sure meetings are the way forward for me, has anyone tried online meetings or are they as good as useless?

Thanks.

Just popping on to say well done to Desire and Venus on managing to not drink on a night out.

Sorry you didn't get much sleep Mouse and Indie

Keep up the good work Noteven

Just thawed out after watching my DS's football match, he was captain and their team won so its been bacon sandwich's all round.

well done Chuss for your change in behaviour and thinking that's a positive step. I'm too not drinking today.
Welcome Scrumpet lovely to 'meet' you. You are making a very positive step joining us. You will receive lots of support and help and nobody will judge you. Everyone has different experiences and advice. I am trying to control my drinking and to keep me focused I think about all the awful and embarrasing things i've done due to alcohol. I've not been to AA but there will be others along to tell you about their experiences

Just want to say a big thank you to everyone on this thread, was tempted to give in a couple of times last night due to the amount of people "forcing" me to have a drink but I thought NO I really want to enjoy a night out without alcohol and I want to come on here and tell you all about it, I knew that even if in RL people thought it was a bit weird for me not to be drinking that all you brave babes would understand. Thanks for all the positive vibes sent my way last night:)

Glad that you had a good night Desire without the booze. I too find this thread really helpful at keeping me focused

Hello Scrumpet and welcome. This is an online AA meeting
it is a wonderfully supportive place and I have drunk less since joining it a few months ago than i have since my last pregnancy (10 years ago) - if that makes sense. I mean, the last time i was this sober was when I was last pregnant!
You will get an open ticket from Silver and advice from everyone!

Hello Scrumpet I too am a newbie here. Come on in the water is warm! I have got through my first Friday without a drink for an awful long time. This is a great thread. Come here to post when you feel the need or just have something to say.

Hi all, hope you're looking forward to a good evening. Chuss is sounds as though you did just the right thing: knew you were going to drink and did so, but have managed to seperate that from "therefore I will give in a drink the next day" stuff than can plague us.

*dementedma" you're sounding chirpy, and I agree - this is the best open meeting there is - turn up anytime and tell people what you feel. Of course if it's the middle of the night or sometimes during a quiet day it may be a while before you get a response, but someone will always answer eventually, even if they don't always give the answer you wanted !!

desire I was so glad to hear about your night out. Isn't it great to know that things can be just fine without a drink

And welcome to scrumpet - whenever you feel like it you can tell us whatever you like about yourself - your circumstances, your age, your drinking habits. But if you don't want to tell any of that, then that is just fine too. I have never tried an online AA meeting, although a few years ago I was on an online group. It was nothing like this though - it was very, very fighty, people were always arguing about AA or not AA (very polarised views), and people were often accusing people of posting drunk. Not surprisingly I didn't stay joined for very long and it didn't do much for my wn sobriety. I'm not a regular AA person, although I've been to a few. There really is nothing to be frightened of. Mostly they will be looking out for anyone new, and you don't need to say anything if you don't want. Some others on here go more, and will not doubr come along later and tell you thier own experiences.

Oh and I meant to reply ages ago to previoous posts...

Lovely to see MsGee on here, and MissPerrier. And yes, my dd2 is still away on her travels, now in Thailand and heading for either Laos or Cambodia. I miss her such a lot. Christmas day was not too bad, but I just feel the house very empty without her - and her room stays tidy which is very odd. I'm toying with the idea of going for a visit....

Thanks for the lovely welcome

I can tell you a bit about myself and circumstances (but I'm a regular namechanger because I like the anonymity so I'll keep it to essentials)

I'm 42, married 13 years, two kids - one an angry teenager.

I'm not a daily drinker, I'd say my pattern is twice a week I will get utterly hammered. I have no off switch.

I'm very pleased to read that this is an online AA meeting

I'm climbing on the wagon because my drinking has been increasing over the last few months and I think dh is right at the end of his tether. He doesn't drink much at all (the occasional glass of wine or beer, only ever two at the most) which highlights how much I do.

Also, the angry teen - she hates it when I drink and I think it's damaging our relationship. She's going through a very tricky time and she needs me to be there for her, and for her to know that she's more important than the booze.

I'm thinking about going to the doctor next week to talk to him about it, is this a good plan or not? Has anyone here ever discussed it with their doc? is there medication you can take to either help with the urge, or make you feel sick if you did have a drink?

Hi Scrumpet, would it help to think about what your trigger to drink is? I too drink too much regularly but not every day. My trigger is the clock - getting to 7pm and thinking oh goody, time for a drink. This week I have tried to break some of the assumptions which went along with this - having a drink to celebrate/commiserate.

On the times when I have talked with a medical profession about drinking I have not found their attitude helpful - naughty child dont you know how many units are healthy?

scrumpet I think such a lot depends on your GP, how well you know him/her and how much you trust him/her.

I've not told my doc (morbid fear of anything appearing in my records) but others on here have and the response appears to be variable. Some people seem to have had a very helpful response - medication to ease the cravings, referrals for appropriate help etc. Others have had decidedly unhelpful responses - one emergency doctor felt duty bound to inform social services for example , although that particular poster got a much, much better and more sympathetic response from their own GP.

Unfortunately many services (including specialist alcohol services) do not seem to cater well for women like us. Lots of well-meaning advice about the number of units, trying to have at least 2 alcohol-free days per week, trying to cut back etc. but not much in the way of real understanding of the nature of the problem as we experience it - not being able to stop once we've started.

Have you got a really good and understanding GP? I suppose that's the key to it.

evening everyone! (wan smile!) - sorry, still not up to much, im feeling a little better this evening but my god, ive never been so ill, im shattered - all i can say is that thank god i wasnt trying to drink, (cos i have been ill before and managed to drink, it was medicinal dont you know!) i think i would have killed myself!, i have lost 5lbs but have also cultivated a grey and puffy complexion that has a slight look of rigor mortis about it!

anyway, just to say

congrats to family miflaw!

bloody well done to everyone else!

and welcome to all our super new girls!

see you all tomorrow!!

L XXXXXXXX

btw, my 7 month anniversary passed by in a haze of beechams powders and snotty tissues!

Well done for getting online despite being ill JWN and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

My triggers? Ummm, boredom, happy, sad, celebrating, pissed off, birthday, any anniversary, bought something nice to wear... so errr, just about anything and everything One thing I've noticed is that if I can get past having my dinner then I'm unlikely to want to drink, so perhaps i should bring dinner forward a bit (we eat about 7 most nights).

I don't know my GP particularly well, I am a patient at a very large city practice and rarely see the same doc twice in a five year or so period.

I also have a fear of it being on my records. I'm actually a medical secretary who summarises people's medical notes which makes this fear worse for me, I don't want strangers reading about it, although it actually might be too late on that score as I self-referred for alcohol counselling a couple of years ago and I don't know if they will have contacted my GP about it or not. The counselling was ok but I really didn't click with the woman I was paired with and then within five weeks of it finishing my mum died, which as I'm sure you can imagine was a very stressful time and I simply didn't have the strength to keep fighting it then.

One thing I really struggle with is with the shame, which is probably why I couldn't force myself into the AA meeting that time.

Is it shameful, do you think? is it still viewed that way by the wider public?

Evening all

Well done to everyone that had a good night last night, and managed to avoid the temptation.
Welcome to scrumpet.

Am having a bit of a shit day really. Not only got up to 3 inches of snow, but have just started tea to discover that the steak mince is off!

Also feeling very wobbly about the separation and the financial side of my new life, exdp has very firm ideas of what kind of financial settlement he wants in order to allow me to take on the sole responsibility of our house, and I just feel very low and despondent about the whole thing. I keep thinking about how incredibly happy I was when we bought this, and I really believed that it was my forever house/home.

I keep saying to myself, that whatever happens will be for the best in the long term, and trying very hard not to project into the future, and stay present in the moment, but really have had several teary moments. Kids are being tremendous as always and have been on hand with countless cups of tea and cuddles.

and to put the cherry on all of it, I brought home ciggies from South Africa, and finished them on the 4th, and totally refuse to pay £6 for 20 cigarettes, so have stopped smoking as well! Probably not helping the situation but hey - I really can't afford to keep smoking (either financially or from a health perspective). I only smoked 3-4 a day, but phsiologicallly (sp) I smoked at definite times, and its another challenge.

Sorry, that was long and whingey, however none of this would be made better by drinking, so I dont think that I shall bother tonight .

Heres to a good sober Saturday night BB's, have fun doing whatever it is you have planned.

scrumpet I have not much idea of what the general public think - I had a colleague several years ago who was an alcoholic and went to AA. he was quite open about it and it didn't appear to worry anyone. There is absoloutely no shame at all in recognising that you drink in a way that is a problem, and absoloutely no shame in trying to do something about that.

I think that if you read through the pages on here, you will see that many of us done things while drunk that shame us to our core, and if we haven't it's only through good luck rather than any good judgement. I can't imagine that going to AA is any more shameful than how you feel when you wake up the morning after you've been drinking.

In any case, AA is anonymous, so you only have to tell anyone that you want to tell.

Hi bafana, I've never been a smoker so I don't understand that part of it, but you are absoloutely right - none of how you feel would be made better by drinking, including your financial situation.

There is nothing wrong in having a wallow in your sadness - just recognise it for what it is - grief at the loss of your dream. But there will be another dream, and another after that. Take care, and bask in the cuddles and love of your dcs.

Bafana, sorry you're having a crap day

I also have a friend (not seen him in a while though) who went into AA very openly a good few years back now, I think what I struggle with is the idea that it's all horribly shameful (to me, at least) and yet when he went there absolutely everyone was extremely supportive and pleased for him, so I've got a weird psychological fight going on about that in my head.

Now, how does one go about making sober friends? I think one of the major reasons my friends are who they are, is because they too like to chuck back the wine but the idea of seeing less of them (or not at all) is terrifying. Dh is a bit of a loner, so I can't rely on his friendship group to keep me company.

I definitely won't be having a drink today because I have the hangover from hell so my resolve is strong, but I know this will dissipate over the next few days and may need to lean on you all a bit more by about mid week.