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Original poster

Anyone else ever been in this situation?

89 replies

ILikedIt · 26/12/2010 15:26

I have name changed for this as I am a reg.

Been with my partner a few yrs we are very happy. I am bi and have always been open and honest with partner about this. I have told him if there is someone i like etc, he has never stopped me having my fun. Which has only been a few times and was always with the same person.

I have this friend, Friday night was at a party and we ended up kissing. I have known her a year and always ignored the feelings. Thinking she was never likely to respond in the way I would have liked.

Now I am in such a state as I know I want a bit more than just a drunken kiss. She is bi-curious and we have exhanged a few texts since then. Some just normal chit chat some racey.

Thing is I am so so nervous. I get all anxious when I am with her and she text me to say she likes me, I make her laugh etc. So with my partners blessing this is going to go further and I am so nervy.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation?

I just needed to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
Gay40 · 26/12/2010 16:05

99% it will all end in tears. Whose tears is anyone's guess. I wish I had some positive spin on this, but it rarely works out.

violethill · 26/12/2010 16:08

Agree it sounds as though someone will end up getting hurt - probably you or your partner, or both

GypsyMoth · 26/12/2010 16:12

it sounds like its more than you having your fun tho......sounds like a potential relationship

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 01:13

No it will never be a relationship.

I am happy with my partner just sometimes I need that something different.

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 27/12/2010 01:51

I am happy with my partner just sometimes I need that something different

Surely that a contradiction? If you were happy with your dp, should you be needing anything other than him?

dittany · 27/12/2010 02:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 02:26

I think it sounds cool. If your partner approves, go for it!

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:31

I am not doing anything to my partner. we have a very healthy sex life. He knows I am bisexual he knows I don't look at every woman and think Corr yeah, but he knows that there may be the chance once in a while that I see or get to know someone I want something with. This lady knows as well. She knows I am with him.

In the years we have been together I have had an on off relationship with one woman for the first year I was with him.

We have now been together just short of 6 years.

In that time we have had our fun together and also me seperatly.

OP posts:
trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 02:33

So whats the problem? Enjoy!

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:35

Truly me I am the problem because I am so friggin nervous!

I have been there and done it before but something about this lady makes me all jittery . - god that sounds so like a teenager - but thats how she makes me feel.

OP posts:
trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 02:42

Even better! Just build on from the naughty texts. Look, im a bloke, therefore closer to an emotional neanderthal, but just enjoy the ride. Feeling like a teenager is an emotion that doesnt come cheaply as a fully paid up adult! Just hope my advice isn't compromised as a M. (?)

dittany · 27/12/2010 02:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:43

I like your advice Xmas Grin

OP posts:
differentnameforthis · 27/12/2010 02:44

I didn't realise being bi gives the right to cheat on your partner when you felt like it. With or without permission, it is still cheating.

Are you happy for him to sleep with other women? Or men?

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:44

Its not grim, really it isn't.
And she is every part a lady.

OP posts:
dittany · 27/12/2010 02:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:48

He had the chance the night we got together, and spent 7 hours just talking, to voice his concerns. I was straight with him from the word go. I explained to him who I was and told him that I would do my best to ignore any feelings if I thought he would be hurt by them.

Actually it is the opposite.

Lets live in the real world a second - Many men would kill for the chance to see/be part of this - and one day he will be.

OP posts:
trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 02:48

If she bi CURIOUS, just buld up your mutual confidences slowly. But I think you should be expected to take the lead here. Which is an interesting dynamic when you have a crush!
Would it hurt to text to ask for a date? N.

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:49

Sorry "Fetishising"???

She is a lady. How is it wrong to refer to her as that?

And there was no need to ask permission - I just told him I would be going away for the night soon.

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:50

Truly, done that already Grin text i mean.

OP posts:
dittany · 27/12/2010 02:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 02:53

You're just cheating yourself if you deny your own emotions. And referring to the "lady" appears to be a positive to my mind. Your M partner is a lucky dude too (as recognised)!

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:54

Dittany, what is the problem? we are all consenting adults who know where we stand. We all want fun and are having it. I fail to see what is wrong with that?

OP posts:
Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 02:56

Truly, thankfully my partner is understanding as he has never put me in a situation where I would have to deny my feelings.

I am lucky too as he is so understanding.

OP posts:
dittany · 27/12/2010 02:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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