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Original poster

Anyone else ever been in this situation?

89 replies

ILikedIt · 26/12/2010 15:26

I have name changed for this as I am a reg.

Been with my partner a few yrs we are very happy. I am bi and have always been open and honest with partner about this. I have told him if there is someone i like etc, he has never stopped me having my fun. Which has only been a few times and was always with the same person.

I have this friend, Friday night was at a party and we ended up kissing. I have known her a year and always ignored the feelings. Thinking she was never likely to respond in the way I would have liked.

Now I am in such a state as I know I want a bit more than just a drunken kiss. She is bi-curious and we have exhanged a few texts since then. Some just normal chit chat some racey.

Thing is I am so so nervous. I get all anxious when I am with her and she text me to say she likes me, I make her laugh etc. So with my partners blessing this is going to go further and I am so nervy.

Has anyone else ever been in this situation?

I just needed to get it off my chest.

OP posts:
dittany · 27/12/2010 11:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pantofino · 27/12/2010 11:31

truly, I think you just see this from the "every man's fantasy" point of view. But these are real people with real feelings. It's not just a bit of titilation.

SantaClausImWorthIt · 27/12/2010 11:37

To answer your OP:

No - I've never been in this situation with another woman as I am heterosexual

Yes - I have been nervous like this, at the start of a new relationship; a combination of lust and the beginnings of falling in love with someone else

Whilst I have been in a relationship with one person I have never cheated with anyone else, no matter how I may have responded to them (and inevitably in life there are some 'crushes' along the way).

However, DH and I are in a committed and monogamous relationship. That is what we want and that is what makes us both happy.

If you and your DP are not committed to monogamy, then fill your boots. But don't do anything before you are sure your DP is really happy for you to embark on another relationship.

trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 11:38

You may be right Panto, but I dunno. With ref to 'feelings', thats my point. There's a crush/puppy love thing going on here, which suggests happiness, vitality,joie de vivre etc. I have two mates who are gay - and in a relationship with each other - and I just like to see them happy.

GandalfyCarawak · 27/12/2010 11:42

Hmm.

So you have an open relationship. The fact that you're bi is neither here nor there really- You have a partner and you have sex with other people. I know that this can work for some couples.
The problems might arise:

  1. If your DP is only happy for you to sleep with women;
  2. If you are not happy for your DP to sleep around;
  3. If you aren't clear with those that you sleep with that you are not after a relationship;
  4. You get attached to someone else. It sounds like this is already happening.

I think it's bizzare that you seem to think that because you're bi, you should automatically sleep with whomever takes your fancy.

dittany · 27/12/2010 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 27/12/2010 11:50

Truly, tbh after seeing you hope for some extras at the spa I don't think your views are coming from wanting the op to be happy, just that you'd like to know the details.

OP, if you have an open relationship that is working for you and your partners good for you. Personally I would not go and fuck someone else with or without my partners knowledge. I can totally understand why sone posts feel you are using this girl for you and your partners own entertainment. Does she know it would only be a shag and nothing else can come of it?

trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 11:55

LBADG I really dont need to know what the details are or possess any other agenda.I've asserted my views and respect fact - interestingly - dissenting views are in majority. Only by sheer volume do I concede points maded here. But I've said enough here.

findingthepath · 27/12/2010 12:08

I must be very naive cos i think if you are in a relationship its because you love, lust and fancy the person you are in that relationship with. You dont sound as if you care veay much for your partners feelings at all. How you you feel if he wanted to sleep with someone else? At some time in the future this will happen and you cant say no as you have done the same.

You dont seem to think of this lady as a person as havent commented on what she thinks or feek or expects.

How old are you and do you have children?

Also now two women can marry and have children and have an equally right the same as if you were sleeping with a man (just as it should be)

I have respect of open relationships but this is too one sided and a bit off. It sounds more like your latest thrill and not about love or respect to me.

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 12:10

Just a quick response as I am on my way out with the children.

She is aware of what it is and is fine just nervous.

OP posts:
findingthepath · 27/12/2010 12:13

How does your partner reacted to seeing you in love with some one else?

AnyFuckerisFucked · 27/12/2010 12:14

TS...you are one of those male posters that comes on a parenting site just to sniff out and crack one off to the dirty threads aren't you ?

IlikedIt: anything I can do to provide further support? N.

You and your mates are really quite transparent. Unless you are one and the same pathetic pornhound with your dick in your hand at the pc. Who knows...

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 12:15

I am sorry people think this is one sided. I am rubbish at explaining things.

It isn't one sided at all. and obviously I do care about her and her feelings.

OP posts:
dittany · 27/12/2010 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

findingthepath · 27/12/2010 12:20

So your partner also see's other people or has the option too?

I can undrestand why it feels good to be with someone new and i miss the first love feeling myself but not at the expense of my DH feelings or our relationship.

I think most people start a relationship and things change over time and that most people see the possiblility that in time you could chose this woman over your partner and then split up your childrens family.

Its the natur of relationships and feelings to change and grow and no one knows at the start how things will end up - that is why first love is so exciting.

There are no garuntees in life.
It sounds like you are playing with fire.

dittany · 27/12/2010 12:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 12:27

Sorry ILikedIt. Would love to lend my support but - for once! - when trying to be sincere Im being accused of banging one out. To be honest I'm not shocked, but am a little hurt and offended. Arent there better online resources against which to beat ones meat?

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 12:29

I don't report back anything I do tbh. at most I may say "Yes I had fun/enjoyed myself thanks"

TBH although he knows I have this side of my life he doesn't ask for details.

I will not be involving her with him as I said this is not what I want at all.
IF anything happens in the future - and I am talking a time away - then it won't be with her. If I am honest me him and another woman is not something that appeals to me and he knows this. This doesn't stop him respecting my feelings.

OP posts:
trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 12:30

Dittany whats the issue? Woman = good, man = bad? C'mon! As previously stated, Ive never been less than transparent here

findingthepath · 27/12/2010 12:32

So how do you respect his feelings?

SparkleRat · 27/12/2010 12:55

It doesn't sound to me as though you should be in a relationship at all. Bi or not, if you are in love with your partner you should not be willing to risk his feelings or your relationship just for the thrill of sex with somebody new. I for example, am heterosexual but this doesn't give me the automatic right to sleep with men outside my relationship whenever I feel attracted to someone.
If you feel the need to experiment with women or be promiscuous in general then that is completely acceptable but not when it affects your partner. One might ask why you didn't choose to do this before entering into a commitment to him.
You seem to attach a curious label to the term "bi-sexual", suggesting you cannot control your sexual urges towards others while in a relationship - I would suggest this is a matter completely unrelated to your sexuality.

Original poster
ILikedIt · 27/12/2010 13:14

I am able to control my urges and have done for the last 5yrs.

I have never slept with another man since being with my partner but yes slept with another woman on a few occasions in the first year we were together.

In reply to the poster who asked my age
I am in my 30's and have 2 children.
My sexual life doesn't have anything to do with them or affect them in anyway. I am very descreet in RL and plan on keeping it that way.

OP posts:
AnyFuckerisFucked · 27/12/2010 13:15

Arent there better online resources against which to beat ones meat?

TS, yes there are.

So why are you on a parenting support site and every single one of your posts is to do with sex of the "rah-rah, you go girl, but just a minute while I get my dick out..." variety ?

NB. no disrespect to non-parents who post here for healthy debate, support for non-child issues, just a good chinwag etc, as I have made quite clear on other threads. This pillock isn't here for any of those things though. He is here to give his flagging libido a boost at some silly girl's expense

OP...if everyone is so "happy" with the situation, why do you have to advertise what you are doing ? Just get on with it. Your posts smack of exhibitionism and "aren't I clever and oh-so progressive"

yes, progressive isn't it to shag other people whilst in a relationship < yawn >

trulyscrummy · 27/12/2010 13:22

ILikedIt: Am struggling with this criticism You more robust than me and able to take it? Frankly amazed at such cynicism. "Peace. Out" as those west coast rappers might say

AnyFuckerisFucked · 27/12/2010 13:26

off you go then, TS

till the next time you "pop up" eh ?

btw...never a good idea to use the same nickname all over the internet

merry xmas

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