Chin Up and Tits Out for the Recently Ditched No. 10

[googoomama]

Dearly Be-Chucked, we are gathered here today because, for whatever reason, our man has dumped us!

Whether you are a new dumpling or a vet, feel free to join us in our quest for serenity
:) :(

Woo hoo! Survived! So pleased kids loved their presents and next year is just going to be great for all of us so that by next Christmas we are all going to be completely serene. Well done tea on your first turkey very impressive never done that myself and patience loved your looking for Santa last night and lovely serene dog walking and church today. Happy and starting pink and getting I think you have all done yourselves proud. Hi to all other dumplings hope you have survived. Lc I think you have excelled yourself today being so strong have a special dumpling crimbo award my love. All the best ladies :)

Merry Xmas my fellow dumplings - well done on survivng the day.

Was better than expected here - in fact I enjoyed more than most years. Just shows how nuch stress and drama H bought into our lives. Had a really relaxed one, did a simple brunch then picky bits tonight. Just me, DD and DF. Couple of friends popped in and a friend invited us round for cake this aft- both big surprises and showed me how much friends care. It's easy to feel unloved and alone but sometimes something happens which shows it's not all bad.

Had total melt down yesterday as H decided to inform me he wouldn't be along to see DD today. I knew he wouldn't but actually hearing it hit me hard. Not even sure why! Luckily DF stepped in with DD and let me have a self pity party with some wine! H didn't even call DD or give her a present from him - just relied on the presents I bought. He sent some lame text at about 1030 asking if DD liked presents and saying happy xmas. I didn't answer - what would be the point - utter knobbo. Reading some other threads am feeling glad he didn't come or call.

All the best ladies - merry xmas xx

HAd a lovely day and got spoiled by DM & DF, all Dc are in bed and exhausted and i am now chilling out watching crap tv, all in all quite a stress free day (apart from X this morning)

Hope tomorrow is another lovely day, staying in playing with DC tomorrow and doing us a simple lunch of mince and dumplings, mmmm cant wait :o

So lovely to hear that you all have had a nice day. We did too and I'm very pleased with myself that I made it all nice for the DC. Xmas dinner to die for and all relaxed and happy.

hope all of you not on the thread today had a good time too.

Goat, your h is a twit isn't he.

Waves to all.........

Haven't read thread yet but hope everyone had a lovely day. I managed to have a nice day with dc's but ds was up being violently sick all last night & santa was looking dodgy up til about 5am! Youngest dd also started being sick this morn so most of past 24hrs has involved cleaning & disinfecting! Eldest dd & myself also came down with bug but not as bad as younger two. It's been the first xmas in history that not a morsel of chocolate was consumed . All v happy with santa toys though & major relief that santa managed to make it .

Well looks like everyone had a lovely day .

Sov, I had similiar 3yrs ago when I invited xh to stay xmas eve night & for dinner xmas day. He behaved so horribly & I had a terribly job getting him to even get up to watch dc's finding presents. What a twat, no loss at all & so peaceful to be doing it solely on my own this past two years .

Another twat was BIL who turned up cool as a breeze at door this morn with presents for dc's. I was lying down upstairs at time & ds opened the door so he just left presents. I looked out window just as he was leaving & f***r gave a big grin! Back story for anyone not in the know is BIL knew xh was violent, did not get on with xh & told me to involve police & yet later turned up in court to support him & verbally attacked me in supermarket for being too hard on xh . Last time I saw him in supermarket he walked past me & dc's so hardly going to win uncle of the year award anytime soon!

Well all fine anyway until went to fetch ds to talk to mil on phone and realized that ds was flat out from too much wine, cider and whiskey wtf. Got him up and he has spent the last hour staggering around the house.

Aaargh, when will it all end? He has dropped his laptop on the floor grrr.

Mil couldn't get off the phone quick enough. Detach, detach ....

Hugs to everyone low battery on phone forgot charger but peaceful day and def able to handle enquiring relatives infact piece of piss LOL they said but UR strong u will cope and I said yes I know I'm a Celtic warrior x

Evening all lovin the Celtic warrior bit patience I'm a border riever warrior here woo hoo! Been harder than I thought today but done it and it's over next year is going to be even better because my serenity is only going to blossom this year into a beautiful flower of self worth. No more self created problems just self love peace and good times for me and the kids. Happy got to laugh at Pissed ds can't imagine that at mo my four to spent all day in spiderman suit which has built in fake muscles and he asked me mid morning why does spiderman have boobies mum? Lololo. Starting bil what a prat and so sorry you all had sickness you've done really well today girl. Love to pink tea Romney hope you are ok lovely hg city thinking of you Kate glad you had fab day getting hope you are doing well and everyone I have missed love to whole dumpling family :)

Ah Happy, sorry to hear about ds . Hope serenity will be restored soon ((Hugs))

Patience, you are indeed a celtic warrior!

Goo, glad today went ok for you. My ds has same spiderman suit that he got for his b'day & it's so funny with the built in muscles.

Couldn't sleep. Had to spend day with 'dumper'. Didn't feel relaxed all day, found it very wearing; tried to make it as nice as possible for dc and, under the circumstances, I think they had a nice day. My toleration level was very, very low. Must go to bed now. Goodnight. Have a good boxing day all.

Hi all.

Deluded, it's horrible with them there isn't it? I remember spending half of xmas in the bathroom two years ago feeling sick. It's a long way away I know but next xmas will be wonderful I'm sure that things will be better hopefully now for the rest of the holiday.

Goo Goo, I'm sure you will have a better day today also.

Patience the celtic warrior is great and making me think of WQ also.

Starting, the BIL thing was really odd want it? These ILs can be so weird at times. After the judgy pants emails last week my Mil is back to normal as if nothing happened. All weird, she has been a bit of a second mother to me so a bit messy.

Glad we all survived the day unscathed.

Sorry to hear of the horrid bug in the Starting household - hope you're all feeling better now, Starting. Happy, hope your ds is nursing a suitably chastening hangover today.

Deluded, I too had to entertain xp for part of the day so you have my sympathy. He stayed the night on xmas eve to be there for ds when he woke up then went back to his parents for dinner and returned for a couple of hours in the evening to play with ds. The situation is complicated by the fact that my eldest ds and dd won't have anything to do with xp (different dad). They won't even be in the same room. So in the morning I had to text ds to say you can come out of your bedroom now as xp has gone. Then when ds and dd went to see their own dad in the evening I had to text xp to say the coast is clear now, you can come over. It was ridiculous. Here's me juggling everything and trying to keep the peace and I'm the one that's been wronged. I just took Wallace for a long, long walk and thought fuck it, Boxing Day is for me, me, me.

It's a relief to have survived it all though, isn't it?

Hi IfYourHappy-it is hard as it's not like we were best friends once (abusive/alcohol), so loads of hurt along the way - and anger.

So, very hard to still have to share house now after all that.

LC, I know you say it was ridiculous but it is nice and comforting knowing that your older DC don't want to see xp because they know how much he's hurt you and they are just being loyal to you ?

I'm just wondering...for my own personal reasons.

LC - that is like my situation.Older children will make up their own mind in the end about a partner, and it does seem like a pantomime, but they have their reasons.

Hi everyone

glad to hear there were lots of merry christmas' going on and sorry to hear about illness' in different households and hoping its eased off today - maybe my waistline could do with a bug

well we had a wonderful day the dc were just soo lovely did me a stocking and our christmas eve was magical too with old traditions and a new age appropriate one thrown in for good measure

dc went over to him in the morning and came home with loads of presents from dad and ow and stuff from her family too and you know who didnt turn a hair

we then headed off to best friends house and had a great time and my dc were such a credit to me I am sooo proud of them. Loads to eat and drink and I took part in daft games that might have made me uncomfortable in the past but I just felt soo relaxed

today is the day he left last year and my life is finally so much nicer so all dumplings raise a glass...

back later waves to all

Hi 5s fellow Boxing Day Dumpee and thinks ..wow imagine if we didnt get chucked last year ,Getting and we were still living with them ...aaargh.
When relatives went all pitying on my ass last night i said 2010 had been a gift and if he hadnt have left i would still have been trying to make it work for my kids because i "loved" him and he was my husband .
Its a tough old road to go down but we are walking it with our heads held high.
X was meant to phone kids last night but didnt ,he was meant to text me today to tell me if he was having the kids and didnt so i texted him at 10am and just got a reply "No"
so i dont know when they are getting their presents .Feel sorry for my kids that he is keeping them hanging on like he is some almighty presence.Not so long ago i felt that way myself about him .He has opted out big time .
Anyway will head off home soon ,loads of toys ,books and glitter barbies ,hope ur cool Startin'hope ds is ok Happy ,waves to eveyone ,keep on marching to freedom !!!

Urban - What about if we are chucked and still living with them.And they are happy, happy, happy....

All i know is nobody else did anything to help me df friends family etc ,i had to just get on with it and help myself,what does your sol say ?Why do u have to stay with him ?Phone Womens Aid right now ,tell them everything ,the situation wont change until you change it .He is quite happy bullying you ,he enjoys it ,i would break the cycle ,the opposite of abuse is respect ,break free and flourish.

Really happy for you Getting and I love that they did you a stocking.

Pink, my older dc's are 23 and 21 but have known xp for 12 years (they didn't meet for first 2 years of our relationship). They are horrified by what he has done and they don't even know the full truth. They were introduced to ow by xp and ds gave them lifts to "work functions" and ow gave dd loads of furniture when she bought a new flat. All the time they were having an affair. So, it's more than loyalty to me. It's also because they were duped and tricked into being complicit with the whole sorry mess. They have since said that they never really liked him much anyway and some of thier observations have been the cause of much hilarity . However, they are very careful not to say anything damning in front of little ds which just shows what wonderful kids they are.

Urban-PM'd you.

Hello
I had to tell the girls that daddy had a new gf who he wanted to spend time with over Xmas - they kept asking why he wasn't eating with us, why he wasn't coming round?

Was nice and serene and said I would answer any questions they had about her.

This meant that ex had to talk to me - he's been ignoring me since the email, but we had a chat on the phone and he told me that 'He's beyond angry with me for sending it'

I said, that I was beyond angry at his lies and deception. We talked about selling the house and he wanted to know how I would react when he wants to introduce the kids to her? I was the picture of calm. I think he was saying it just to try to hurt me.

I said that in a couple of months, when he knew that it was going to be a long term relationship then WE will decide together how the children are introduced to her.

I told him that he had to stop thinking inside this 'him and her' relationship bubble and think about the girls for once - and how they are feeling.

I know he's only saying it to get a reaction - but he didn't get one.

He told me I can't go round to the house - so I told him to bring MY washing machine round then - and I wouldn't HAVE to go back there. He wasn't keen on that idea.

He looks like crap BTW not like someone in the first flush of love - which is how he has been for the last few months.