Comments about body shape on first date?

[JustifiedAncientandMad]

If a man comments on your shape on the first few dates, is it a red flag? The story so far: First date "I can't tell what shape you are under those clothes", second date "I think Nigella Lawson's really lardy", third date "you like your cardies don't you?"

My answer is, yes I do, it's bloody cold. And I think Nigella is a goddess and consider myself fortunate to have a bod like hers (which I do). He seems nice apart from these comments, and I fancy him. But I fancy him less because of this. Would you bail or bother to find out more about him?

Love it, you are so tight it doesn't matter what he says you are fab

Yikes. He is 'negging' you (this is what my friends call it!) He makes a slightly negative/ keeps you guessing comment, which throws you off... makes you feel slightly insecure so that when he makes a move you feel GRATEFUL.

YUK! You know what to do.

For an example, I refer you to Messrs Mitchell and Webb

Run. Like the fucking wind.

MrsMustardSed -- 'negging' is a fantastic term for it.

MrsMustard thanks for the link, I love those guys! But seriously, it's a very sinister way to behave, very controlling....

And I have no desire to shag him whatsoever now, he has lost all his allure. Wonder why!

The only thing I would say in his defense is that men (and us too) sometimes, when nervous or trying to impress, say really stupid things. Things they may even think are funny when they're not.

I'm curious as to what the good things are about him and whether they are good enough to make it worth your while to point out what he said and the impact they have on you. If he responds with shock and horror, great, if he continues to be a total idiot then bail it is!

(james bond style alarm siren......)

Keep clear of this prat - he has already started to criticise you. Not even a very clever prat not disguising his mentality.

DearMrsH - why bother.

DearMrsH (I'm a MrsH too), the good things are he's bright, interesting, attractive and good company. He has texted me just now that with regard to him being a body fascist/disrespectful etc "I'm so "way off the mark that I (he) dares to say I was wrong". How could I have misconstrued what he said?

Would I be an idiot to talk to him and hear what he has to say? And definitely NOT with a view to meeting up.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Just ignore him. What would be the point in listening to him justify himself?

No, no, he will act all hurt and he may even say something like 'it was for your own good' or 'it just shows how much I like you'. It will just be annoying.

The thing is he's probably not a 'body fascist'. He probably thinks you look lovely. He just wants to erode your self-esteem.

Although I see nothing wrong with using a spirit-level to get your pictures straight.

Did I tell you he makes his own pate as well?
Yes alark, I'm sure it's because his own self-esteem isn't great that he's trying to erode mine. Shortish man syndrome, something like that.

oi! what are you doing reading his texts? delete without reading

Bail.
He sounds a proper knob jockey.
at " I can't tell what shape you are under those clothes "

The correct response to "I feel disrespected" is "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't realise" - NOT "You're wrong".

Wanker!

Oops just read that you have already!

Please don't let him tell you how wrong you are, don't waste minutes you'll never get back listening to his crazy opinions.

OOhh... a spirit level to get pictures level? What happened to the uber technological tool called a ruler. Yes, most of Rubens gals were nearly boobless, but I chalk that up to the times. Probably why he keeps texting you, for your gorgeously big titties!!

ooops, yes I shouldn't be reading his texts

Grace, you have a very good handle on things.
Will I ever meet anyone normal? Sigh. Anyway am in my pyjamas already feeling very cosy and lardy indeed. Things could be worse.

And will be watching the divine Nigella on TV in half an hour!