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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Comments about body shape on first date?

126 replies

JustifiedAncientandMad · 08/12/2010 19:15

If a man comments on your shape on the first few dates, is it a red flag? The story so far: First date "I can't tell what shape you are under those clothes", second date "I think Nigella Lawson's really lardy", third date "you like your cardies don't you?"

My answer is, yes I do, it's bloody cold. And I think Nigella is a goddess and consider myself fortunate to have a bod like hers (which I do). He seems nice apart from these comments, and I fancy him. But I fancy him less because of this. Would you bail or bother to find out more about him?

OP posts:
KnottyLocks · 08/12/2010 20:10

Get him gone.

Reminds me of an ex who watched me reach for the mayonnaise and said with raised eyebrow, "You don't really need that, do you?"

More than I needed him Grin

Trop · 08/12/2010 20:13

Its conclusive...BAIL!

chrysanthemum38 · 08/12/2010 20:14

Def bail!

I have been a size 8 and a size 20 ands every size in between and I would never stay with a man who made me feel insecure about my size.

Even the guy I was with when I went from a size 14 to a size 20 never once commented.

Longtinsellyjosie · 08/12/2010 20:17

Lordy, run away.

mathanxiety · 08/12/2010 20:26

NOOOOOOOOO.

RUNNNNNNNNN.

Who died and elected him judge of all he surveys?

If he doesn't like Nigella and you're a clone of hers Xmas Envy, then what exactly does he want from you? What did he see in you that attracted him?

Answer -- a potential punchbag. He is testing the waters; there's more undermining and destruction of your confidence stored up where the bit you've seen came from. Give him enough time and you'll see it all.

You don't want to see any more.

ShatnersBassoon · 08/12/2010 20:31

Ugh, he sounds very unattractive. Ditch it.

booyhohoho · 08/12/2010 20:37

knottylocks my ex said exactly the same when i went for a packet of crisps one night. loser.

LoveBeingADaddysGirl · 08/12/2010 20:44

If this is how he makes you feel after three dates think how you would feel after three years?!?

How does he speak about woman in general and his exs, I bet he is scathing.

BAIL now and donor get drawn into explainations/justifications.

FanjoKazooie · 08/12/2010 20:49

Please please please BAIL!

Ripeberry · 08/12/2010 20:52

Dump him now! He will turn into one of those blokes who thinks he can order you what to wear next Angry

BibiBlocksberg · 08/12/2010 20:56

Bail bail bail bail!!!!!! ASAP!!!

If he's like this now it will only get worse!!

Living with 'weightist' people just sucks the joy out of every mouthful for starters Angry

WildPansy · 08/12/2010 20:58

Bail!

almondape · 08/12/2010 21:01

tell him to 'do one'.

tb · 08/12/2010 21:10

bin. him. now.

BringOnTheGoat · 08/12/2010 21:18

He has made you feel self-concious and it's only your third date!?! BAIL.

Many women find it hard to bail on critical men - they wanna fix them - I wanna fix their bollocks in a vice!!

LeakMyWiki · 08/12/2010 21:21

Totally bail. First three dates, he should think you are a GODDESS.

TheCrackFox · 08/12/2010 21:21

Whilst dumping him make sure you tell him it is because you are just not attracted to him. See how he likes it.

Scruffyhound · 08/12/2010 21:25

Well I think tell him to piss off. Or maybe go on another date just to be a bitch?! Repay the favour? Something long the lines of how old are you again? Because I have not noticed it before maybe the lighting is different in here? Or maybe something about his hair line? There is bound to be something about this guy that is not great. other than that dont waste your time and say your busy the next time he asks or just be honest and say sorry this sexy nigella lawson is out tonight so cant make it. Grin

VivaLeBeaver · 08/12/2010 21:29

Bail. Make sure you tell him that not only is he rude and shallow but also very unattractive.

SantasENormaSnob · 08/12/2010 21:32

Bail.

Anyone that calls nigella lardy isn't worthy of oxygen never mind a fourth date.

Scruffyhound · 08/12/2010 21:32

Also my ex husband was a dick and said he noticed I had put weight on. he did not notice me not eating right or being so bloody tired I could not think straight. he used to also think it was really funny when I could not get my words out through being sooo tired I went to the doctors and was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid I had had it for years and had put weight on and found it hard to loose. He never said I'm sorry or anthing. Looser! That along with other things is why hes an EX! At least I can loose the weight he cant get his hair back!! Or a good sense of humor! Wink

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 08/12/2010 21:35

Kick him into touch for making personal comments.

But he's right on one thing - Nigella IS lardy.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 08/12/2010 21:36

bail asap!!! what a nob.

love the idea of texting him a link to this thread. May give him some idea of how much he is loathed by womankind ha ha!!

Antalya1 · 08/12/2010 21:47

gettingeasier thank you for asking..better than I was, but I'll be up and running soon Smile

Antalya1 · 08/12/2010 21:51

Oh and my exes fantasy woman was Kate Moss Confused..as a curvy size 12 I was neverrrrrr going to be that....jump now, he'll only get worse