Has anyone ever.....

[MooseD]

been bold enough to contact their 'first love'?

I have just discovered that mine is now a single father of 3. I'm divorced with 1 DD. And I'm curious....

I'm under no illusions - a lot will have happened in the past 30 years....and not just loss of looks either! . I'm on FB under my married name; he is on there too but I am biding my time before contacting him.

I am on FR under my maiden name - he hasn't tried to contact me but that could be because he still feels very guilty about the circumstances that were responsible for us having to break up.....or it could be because he just doesn't want to go back there again.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? Any advice/opinion would be gratefully received. Thank you

NOOOOOOO! That was with FR.

How long should I wait to try on FB??

lots of people don't look on FR - I don't. I would just try on fb - just send a message though not a friend's request.

The thing is, I'm on FR under my maiden name and FB under married name (even though I'm now divorced).

An old friend contacted me on FR recently and the site then emailed me to tell me this! So I was kind of hoping that FR would email him to say likewise....

I found FL on FB after a bit of sleuthing - but now he has a cartoon character where his picture was - and you can only see a bit of his profile so he would know that I'd already clocked on to him...IYSWIM?

I don't know how long to wait to try via FB - don't want to appear desperate to contact him

So what happens in 'The Message'?

I say go for it.
I wish I had when I'd the chance instead of where I am now. Though I know my FL still loves me :-(

I'm best friends with my first love. We met when I was 18 and were together until I was 25. We had a nasty, terrible breakup and didn't talk for two years. But when we reconnected we discovered that we still had a lot in common and that all of the tension (both negative and sexual) was gone. It's pretty neat.

Ninah - in 'The Message' Jen receives a misplaced voicemail message from her husband, leading her to discover that her marriage is a sham.

Purely by chance at a rally, she catches a fleeting glimpse of Kit, who was her first love when they wer both based with their families on an airbase in germany in the early seventies. He was a senior officers son, out of her league, but they managed to stay together until circumstances changed and it ended.

They do meet up again then.....

Oh I couldn't put it down!

Breakfree, I am sad to hear that about your story.

PS. Haven't heard anything yet.....

no he was a raping arsehole

good luck

My first love was a controlling arse. I've only contacted him twice since out break up. Both times to tell him I had gained some qualifications that he had obsessed over but had never managed to aquire.

Trinity what can I say?

Slug - attagirl, loved that!

.....nothing as yet!

thanks, Moose!
fwiw I'd say move forwards not back, but you never know ...

The longer this waiting has to carry on, the more I am inclined to agree with you, ninah!

Not that I'm impatient or anything, you understand....

......still nothing.......

Plan B - FB!!

Ugh I don't think I can do it. FB is SO out there with everyone seeing everything. I don't even trust the 'send them a message' bit.

MOOSE totally send a message on FB. I never ever go on my FR site but am always on FB so wouldn't know to look there for a message! And you should do it now but then don't contact again. If you stagger it too much and he does know about the FR email it could look a little like he is on your mind, rather than it being 'ooh, I shall just say hello' spontaneity you know?

I contacted my FL a few years ago on FB just to say hi and see how he was (via email as I didn't want my boyfriend to know or worry!), it was actually pretty cathartic as before I couldn't contact him because I wondered if I still loved him in some way. Contacting him made me realise what a lovely guy he was, but how my 'new' guy (who I'd been with for some 6 years then and am now happily engaged to) was my lobster ;0)

Do it, there is NOTHING to lose - even if he emailed back to say go away! Better to regret something you did do, than didn't do. hehe!

Ok, what should I say on FB email?

The FR read: Hello stranger, is this really you? And that was on the 10th Dec....

I'm such a wuss

Update, for those still interested - I've done it, just sent a message on FB. It's only taken a month.

Now I feel reeeaaallly sick - will let you know what happens....if anything.

Right then, took Quavers suggestion and said

"Hello Stranger! Is it really you after all these years?"

He wrote back "lol,yes i`m me but who are you?"

Only my married name comes up on my profile although my maiden name is there as well - I shall have to spell out my maiden name - literally - then see what happens....