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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think my friend was raped

57 replies

MemooMerrilyOnHigh · 04/12/2010 18:46

( Names have been change etc )

A bit sensitive so please dont read if it would be upsetting for you xx

It was about a year ago, last Christmas. My friend Marie confided in me last night and I have no idea what to do. She was really upset please please does anyone have any advice?

She said that she and DH, lets call him Ian, went to a party last Christmas, they knew most of the people there and in particular were really good friends with one of the other women there, Ann, who had brought along a man that she had been dating for a few months called Dan .

They had arranged to stay at Anns house overnight as it was only a short walk from the party. At the end of the night they all went back to the house and my friends DH Ian went straight to bed as was very drunk.

Marie checked on him after a short while and he was fast asleep, snoring.

Not long after Ann also went up to bed.

This left my friend Marie and Ann?s date Dan.

They were chatting for a long while. Marie said they were getting on very well. They had a few more vodkas and after this my friend says she must have passed out because the next she knows it is about 6am.

This is the distressing bit. She woke on the couch and immediately knew something was wrong, she said she felt sore and it felt like she'd had sex. I guess its that feeling you get after when you can just tell you?ve done it, she also told me from the secretions she could feel vaginally that she was positive that she'd had sex. Her knickers were really twisted, her bra was unfastened and a few of her buttons were undone on her top. Ann's DP Dan was still asleep on the couch on the opposite side of the room.

Marie doesn't remember a thing; she was so drunk she thinks she just passed out. There is no way she consented to sex but she is in no doubt that sex had taken place.

She got herself sorted and went upstairs to find her DH still in bed asleep where he had been all night.

She was really upset and didn't know what to so she got straight in the shower and then dressed. By this time Anns date Dan had left.

She was so confused and upset that she did nothing and told nobody. Her DH just put her quiet mood down to her being hung-over.

Later that day she had a bit of light spotting upon wiping when on the loo. She also had a bruise at the top of her arm.

All this time she has kept this to herself.

I am 100% sure that she should call the police but she is mortified about this idea. She hasn?t even told her DH yet Sad Sad

Have to run and bath DD now but will be back later tonight

OP posts:
InLoveWithDavidTennant · 07/12/2010 22:34

I havent read all the thread but just wanted to say that I wish I had had a friend like you. The (very) few people I confided in didnt believe me and went around telling everyone else what I had said like it was the best gossip they had heard in years. Well you can imagine the things people were saying to and about me.

For me, I just wanted someone to be there to listen and believe in me.

Im sure there are responses here that have great advice in them but just wanted to add a little anyway.

TDada · 07/12/2010 22:54

AnyFuckerForAMincePie - well, a neighbour has given me a (little) cause for concern. No firm evidence.

TDada · 07/12/2010 22:56

InLoveWithDavidTennant- that's really bad of your associates. Sad

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 07/12/2010 23:01

ok, TD

a very difficult position to be in Xmas Sad

TDada · 07/12/2010 23:10

AF- yes. I am not embarrassed to keep an eye out/confront though.

OP- sorry for mini- hi jac

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 08/12/2010 07:10

good luck, TD, and no, do not be embarassed

TDada · 09/12/2010 19:25

Thanks AF Xmas Smile

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