Found a message on dh's phone, am gutted and don't know what to think - advise needed before I jump in the deep end

[DontKnowWhatToBelieve]

I have namechanged

I don't know what made me look (I don't usually) but I looked at dh's messages on his phone this evening.

There's a message off an 'unknown' number saying "hey babe u free 2night im horny and want u inside me" It was sent at 9:09 this morning. I'm devastated

I would never, ever ever believe that dh would be unfaithful. And actually, I'm not sure I still do. We don't have a great sex life, that much I have to admit, and I suppose that is what is worrying me. But I really really can't ever see that he would cheat on me.

Apart from anything else, he works so hard (outdoors, in all weathers) and he is home regularly every evening. He very rarely goes out, and I really can't see how he would have the time to cheat, even if he wanted to - which again, I really don't think he would.

Or am I being incredibly naive?

He's in bed right now, so I can't ask him, but how would I ask anyway because he'd know that I had been looking at his phone

Please give me some advise - I'm devastated

See - I told you she was better than me!

Come on - you can't be up all night worrying about this when there is the option of having Judas sort it for you.

Spam.

Definitely spam, and believe me I know about this stuff. And it doesn't mean your H has been looking at porn sites, either. Companies sell lists of mobile numbers to each other, and the less ethical ones do not bother with things like only passing numbers of clients who previously used sex sites/sex lines to other sex companies - his number could have been obtained from websites about computer games/music/trainspotting or if he has ever phoned or texted a competition or independent ringtone site.

SGB - aha - ringtones: that's it with mine - I'd thought it must be something like that (want a ringtone, want a sleazy text, mais oui). OP - it really is rubbish. I'd just ignore it, he won't probly remember your convo this evening.

i have rung the number.

I am hoping it has eased Ops mind.

And?

no answer. no answerphone or anything.

I left it ringing for ages so as to wake her up if she were indeed a slutty man stealer.

but nope, nothing.

I will ring again in the morning just to make sure but my feeling is that its a spam number that charges you per reply

Right, I'm off to bed, I'm going to have a bit of grovelling to do in the morning (although I'm favouring BOF's "sue me" line ..)

Thanks to all of you for your reassurance, it's very much appreciated.

Thanks especially Judas - I really appreciate all your help.

Interesting... I always assumed there would be a call line at the other end so that if you wanted to chat like that you could - this seems a bit pointless?

Dontknow - how are you feeling now??

most welcome

I do feel a little better chippy - we'll see what tomorrow brings (if dh is talking to me )

Thanks everyone

Sleep tight op.

Yeah - go with BOF's 'sue me'

Sleep well x

Just caught up with this, what a lovely thing to do Judas. But please can you let us know what happens when you try this morning.

DontKnow hope everything is OK this morning.

How are you this morning? Hope you can convince DH that this isn't you not trusting him.

My DH got lots of these types of messages, after filling in online competitions.

It was spam, please do not worry.Thia sounds very similar.

Don'tKnow

hope all is well this morning - tell him you love him - as often as needed.

But also perhaps - look again at your original post and your comment on your sex life and tell him why you were concerned and that you are concerned about that part of your relationship and is there anything you both can do to change this?

Judas - did you try again this morning?

Dontknow - I hope you are OK this morning?! Why don't you show DH your original post? I really think it shows that you love him, that you trust him, that you don't know why you looked at his phone and if he reads the whole thing he can even see that you didn't feel right ringing it - but we convinced you to, simply to completely reassure you.

I also think it's important for the pair of you to talk through why your sex life is less than ideal - if it's just because you have small children, it is quite normal, but also not too hard to fix x

Just to update (and to thank you again for all your support) - dh was cool this morning but it didn't last too long. He even made a joke a short while ago because I called dd1 nosy so I think I'm forgiven for looking at his phone ( ...I still don't know what made me?)

He maintains that he doesn't know who sent the txt and tbh we haven't had time to properly discuss what has gone on because we haven't had a minute without the children being around. I aim to have a sit-down chat tonight.

I do believe him, and the responses on here were very reassuring.

Thanks again everyone, especially Judas - I'm very grateful

Excellent, I'm pleased all is well but do take this as an opportunity to open up communication.

I hope you managed to have that chat tonight.

Just read this entire thread, and am very pleased it turned out to be innocent.